Do you have autism radar when you meet other kids?

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My husband hates that I do it and says I can't 'know' by a quick meeting with someone, and he's right to an extent, but I think I have become accutely aware of traits that I can see them a mile away.

For example. At Kindergarten orientation there was another boy who came in. He was very interested in the room, walked a lot on his toes (my son doesn't do this, but I know it's a trait). He was reading (he and my son are the only readers so far in class) the signs, and didn't pay attention to the kids in the classroom at all. His speech while better than my son's, it's not typical cadence and his pronunciation/annunciation is delayed and a few other things. When we left I told my husband I was pretty sure he was on the spectrum.

Fast forward a month and his mom is one of the other few mothers who comes in every morning (there are four of us total who still do that). Today at school pick-up, she asked, "how's your son adjusting?" I said, "well, it's getting better, but it's a struggle. He's on the autism spectrum." Her response, "Yes, my son is too. He's having a hard time adjusting too." I told her I suspected he might be on the spectrum as he seemed a lot like Henry and she said, "Yes, I noticed there were probably two others in class besides A." So, she has that radar too and it's probably why she asked about adjustment.

This weekend I worked a workshop where we babysat kids. I'm pretty sure one of the girls is on the spectrum. My husband didn't pick up on it, but when he started to think about the day, he started to see it too.

Then I wonder, "is that unfair to do?" and do teachers/counselors have that radar too? And is that good or bad? There are so many classic traits, it's so easy to spot with at least this age set that I'm familiar with (5 and under). AND if I have that radar and so many others do to, why for decades, centuries, was there no name for kids like this when it seems so obvious to me?

I do pick up on ASD traits and characteristics now that I never did before my son was dx. I don't think it is unfair, I think it is good that more people are becoming more aware. Maybe when the level of awareness is raised and the level of ignorance (read Smockity-Frock and her ilk) is decreased, people on the spectrum won't have so much difficulty because society's expectations will change. It will not be expected for everyone to behave in a "neuro-typical way" (whatever that is). Right now, I think one of the concerns I have is that a lot of teachers don't have the necessary awareness, though they should. I feel fortunate that we have some very observant, sensitive and mindful educators who did see the differences in my son and helped us get on the path to meeting his needs!

Yes, I have a radar now. At my nephew's birthday party there was definitely a boy there who was on the spectrum. I asked my brother and he stated "not that he knew of". Made me wonder if the parents had not yet told the other parents or if he truly was not yet dx'd. I do hope it's the former as this child very clearly had sensory issues, was stimming, and was toe walking. I spent some time worrying about whether his parents "understood" what was going on.

This happens to me as well. There was a little boy in one of my son's play classes that was very obsessed with trains, and would have a fit if he wasn't the first one to do everything. He also didn't seem to have boundaries as far as leaning on other people. Overall, he was not THAT obvious, so I doubt his mother even knew. And of course, I don't know for sure either, but from all of my reading, he seemed to fit the AS mold. I have had other mothers tell me about things their children were doing, and I feel that it seems like a trait, but I don't say anything.

You know, berryblonde, I think these traits have always been around, but my theory is that now, people are just more aware. You can look up anything on the internet, and people are just talking about it more. Also, kids are starting pre-school so much earlier, that it is being picked up that way too.

My son didn't walk until he was almost 2, and during that time, autism was not really the first thing that I thought of. I was freaking out and during that time, I met several elderly moms that told me "Oh my son didn't walk until he was 3 and didn't talk until he was 4, and he is a genius! He is a doctor and a lawyer! That sounds very AS to me! And even my mother in law told me that my brother in law used to bang his head at night to go to sleep, and that one time when they were out, he went and sat in a corner and started rocking himself. He is almost 60 yrs old now, and is functioning just fine although he seems to be socially challenged. This got me thinking that is probably does have a genetic basis with my son. Although no one on either side of my son's family has ever been diagnosed.

Anyway, I just think back then, people just thought they had a "difficult" or "odd" child, and they just didn't talk about it as much as we do. I am sure they were not taking their 2 yr old in for a diagnosis! Also, Asperger's was not even a formal diagnosis until 1994.(I believe)

I feel like I have "A-dar" and I think most spectrummy people do. If I don't find them, they find me.

I second that!

What you are describing is not really a "radar" because a radar would detect all autistic persons. But what I understand here, is that you just see some autistic behaviors and assume that they are autistic. But you tend to forget that NTs have sometimes strange behaviors too (especially when they are young) and autistic persons don't always act out of the ordinary...

I don't think it is that, for me. It only became a conscious thing after my son's diagnosis, but looking back I can see it's always been true.

Well, so far I'm 4/4. There are just some key things that ordinary kids just don't do. Go into a kindergarten room and sit there for an hour when the kids get to do whatever they want for the most part. You'll see it pretty quickly.

And yes, sometimes people just have traits. My older son has some traits. My mother in law has traits, my husband's father and uncle have traits.

Only one person has surprised me so far with having autism when I didn't realize it, but it was before I knew as much about it and she was older and had years of therapies behind her. I think it's quite possible for someone with autism to slip past me than it would be for me to peg someone to have it and find out that they aren't on the spectrum.

Yes, I'm always trying to pick out potentially autistic people, not just children, but adults, too! There are some really obvious traits like stims, but then there are more subtle things that people might not look for unless they knew a lot about autism and were actually looking for the traits. One thing I look for is the marked impairment in eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression and gestures/body language (to quote loosely from the DSM-IV) People of all ages with autism will often have very static-looking faces, and a blankness in the eyes.

I've seen babies and young toddlers (ie. kids that would generally be too young to be formally diagnosed) who are showing traits while their moms seem to be blissfully unaware. I know I was blissfully unaware when my daughter was a baby and toddler. I look at these babies/toddlers and wonder how the mom will react months or years down the track if/when she finds out the baby is autistic...

Absolutely - my daughter just started in a new classroom (for emotionally impaired children, BTW), and I *know* that one of the other children in the room also has Asperger's - I knew within the first 5 minutes of observing/speaking with him. We had a chat about dead sea scrolls and native american lore (he's when we met.

My daughter (she's been in the classroom 3 weeks now) has reported that they play "Panda" (another one of his interests) and search for "Crystals) (geology/rocks are one of her interests) on the playground and that he "understands me - he's kind of like me, you know".