Bouncy walk son possibly has Asperger's

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Hello,

My son is almost 15 and years ago he was diagnosed with Aspergers. He saw a dr. once for 15 minutes and was diagnosed. If he does have it it is mild, if there is such a thing. We've been having family issues and my husband and I went to see a counselor and we brought up Aspergers so this is why I'm revisiting his diagnoses. We never really did anything about his issue because it doesn't really affect his life so much, well, maybe it does...

He is obsessed with video games and computers. It is now summer and all he does is stay in his room and play video games, though he does socialized online all the time with xbox live. In school he does ok, very smart but low effort and very disorganized. He has friends at school he hangs out with but when he comes home from school he does his homework, then off to the video games.

I've always thought there was something "different" about him. He was delayed a bit with walking and talking and was obsessed with windshield wipers when he was 3 until maybe 5. He doesn't really show a lot of affection, will say I love you when I say it to him. Doesn't really like to be hugged or touched a lot. He is a bit clumsy, though he does play street hockey on a city team. One of my worries is his "bouncy" walk, I know I should not care what people think but to a point I think we all need to. He just finished his freshman year in high school and I'm concerned if he doesn't change his way of walking he is gonna be made fun of and that will just lead to life being difficult for him. Just doesn't look "right", as he is 6 foot tall with a bouncy walk. I try to tell him to stop bouncing and think about his steps and use his heels for as he tends to kind of bounce and walk on his toes. I feel sometimes mean for getting on him but I'm only trying to help him. My husband says he walks the way he walks, let it go.

I'm just kind of rambling. I just wanted to get more involved with trying to help him. Our counselor will be helping as well, as yesterday was the first time we saw her. Up until then, we've really just "ignored" his symptoms.

I guess i'm wondering to I force him to go out and socialize or let him just play his video games. Do I nag him to stop bouncing, don't know how to help him

ashtin49

He sounds like he is doing okay and his pretty happy. I guess if you have brought the bouncy walk thing to his attention, and it doesn't bother him, then let it go. If his peers start to tease him and it bothers him, then he will probably work on it. As far as forcing him to socialize, it sounds like he is happy with the friends he has, and probably just needs the down time to regroup. He sounds like he is doing well, so unless he is concerned with how AS is affecting his life, then I wouldn't worry.

he sounds like an aspie to me. the toe walking is a pretty common autistic trait, my 4 yr old aspie does it too. i wouldnt worry about it much, its just the way he walks. as long as it doesnt interfere with his activities, let it be. if hes 6 ft tall at 14, he probably wont see a lot of teasing from it, and if he does, address it then.

at 14 he should be able to talk to you about things. have you tried asking him about how he feels with regards to socializing and friends? if hes lonely, maybe finding more casual social outlets would be good. if hes happy/content with the way things are, then let him keep on as he is. it may be good to find social outlets during the summer, or encouraging him to invite friends from school over. he should get some socialization in the summer, as long as it fits what he needs.

socializing for autistics can be stressful, anxiety producing, and even agonizing. forcing him to socialize when he doesnt feel he wants more social contact wouldnt be good for him and could potentially cause a lot of negative reactions. aspies generally do not want or need as much social time as typical people, so dont judge him by how you would feel in that situation. ask him about it and go by what HE feels.

my SO is an aspie and gets a lot of his socialization from online gaming. its easier for him because no one is looking at him and he doesnt have to worry about reading non-verbal social cues. the written (or typed/read) word is much more direct and easy to interpret. so your son isnt unusual there =)

Actually, I see him having an issue that you kind of just bounced right over ....

Lack of effort and disorganization. One thing that happens with AS kids, because they are so bright, is that society discounts how easily overwhelmed and stressed they can get and chalks it up to "lack of effort," when, actually, the child is working hard to stay focused and is truly doing his best. That perception can really eat into self-esteem, so it is important to figure out what really causes the apparent "lack of effort" and not just get on board with the assumption. Also, most AS kids have real trouble with executive function, which makes the organizational expectations often way beyond their means. Again, this can be serious to the child, as people will keep telling him that if he would "just do X," it would get solved, when the reality is he is not capable of doing X.

On the questions you did have: on this forum we tend to believe that you should let your child follow his own interests, as these are usually really important to his self-calming and the most likely path for his finding a future career. Unlike NT kids who often get more irritated by having more screen time, it can really calm an AS child. Watch and observe on that, if it seems healthy for this unique child, and not just follow the advice of the bigger world on it. On the gait, I guess the best you can do is let him know of your worries in the teasing department, and let him decide for himself. While it can be hard for us to watch our kids make choices that create negative social effects, the decision does have to be theirs, and they have the right to make it.

My mother trained me to stop walking on my toes.. it involved lots of yelling and aversive conditioning. I wouldn't bother. It's not very nice...

(Book Noodles, that cat is beautiful!)

For the organizational comment - wow, that is so my daughter! The teachers are concerned all the time that "she's bright but missing assignments, unorganized" - like a broken record on her report card.

I bought her several different types of binders, notepads, sticky notes etc.. but she always comes home with them in a jumble, some math is in her science notebook, drawing in her math notebook - no rhyme or reason. I'm fine with her drawing or doodling whenever she wants but there seems to be a lack of "importance" placed on assignments and there's where it affects her grades. I have not yet had her officially diagnosed because I didn't want her to be labeled but I can see that having an ISP and support from teachers who might help her toss unneeded papers so she's not so overwhelmed would be a great help for her especially now that she's entering Jr. High. (I made that sound trivial - I realize diagnosis would have many many benefits for her.)

The only thing I found that works is take out her backpack every day and go over the binder. I remind her every day - "if this paper is for science, it "lives" in the science folder" but I usually end up doing all the organizing while she gets bored. Perhaps eliminating anything that is not essential (with teacher's help) would be less overwhelming.

So glad to see this addressed here!

Pretty much had the not turning in assignments problem throughout school because even at 7 or 8 I was understanding that busy work for busy works sake wasn't worthwhile.

Did my comment get taken down? Sorry if I said something wrong...if I did, I'd like to know what it was so I don't inadvertently say something inappropriate again. Thanks.

Whoops, just realized this appeared in two different places and my comment was in the other forum. Just freaked out for nothing! How embarrassing! Never mind...

I had a bouncy walk when I was a kid and also walked on my toes. I got made fun of quite a bit and finally in about Grade Eight a friend took me aside & showed me how to place my feet correctly, heel first. It took a lot of concentration to walk this way, but I was determined. I now walk "normally."

--Wrabbit.

Ick. Heel first? Nowai!

I totally agree with DW - the organization is what always killed me.
All my report cards are marked
"great potential, smart but sometimes shy, needs to apply himself"
while my effort was there, my ... well someone up there nailed it..

Order of Importance for projects

That was - and still is - my biggest issue. There's no "instruction" written down which states "do this one first, then move on to this one" and I don't have the ability (I know, sounds stupid right?) to write myself that instruction. Since the instruction is thus incomplete, NONE of the projects gets attended to - or at least, any that I try to attend do get only half my attention because I'm so worried I'm doing them wrong / out of order... blah blah blah

Sounds like my son...he bounces when he walks too, only he's short. And he refuses haircuts, so as he bounces, this giant curly mound of blonde curls bounces along with him. The kids at school affectionately call him "Fluffy".

When he was in fifth grade, the teacher called me in (this was before diagnosis) and asked me to guess which locker was my son's. It was the one with wadded up papers on the floor all around it, papers and books sticking out of it, so bad that the door wouldn't close. And his backpack was the same way. I started going in once a week and taking EVERYTHING out of his locker, then going through it at home with him. The other kids never had to know, but now that he's older, this school won't allow me to sneak in and clean out his locker. I can only imagine what it looks like at this point.

Bouncy walking. I wonder after reading all these replys now as I thought that was a real telling side of Autism but I see it isn't just Aut. My son still does it and also as he does it goes dieways and bumps into things. Kinda like Tigger.