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ediself
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19 Oct 2010, 9:17 am

my son is super loud. he also bounces about most of the day. is there anything i can do to moderate this? i'm as myself and have super low tolerance to constant movement like that, i always thought it was the noise that bothered me, but after years of doing "shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! !!"i realised the movements are what make me crazy. I can always say "go do that in your bedroom"and i do, but i can't make him live in there can i...and it only stops when he's on the computer designing some video game or something, so it's either: give him the computer so you can have peace, and i also have to set a time limit as good parents do ( don't let him on the computer all day you freak) or send him to his bedroom.
i bought him proper art material, like paint and good paper and all kinds of ruler/set-square/compas and whatnot, he did spend a few days drawing ( video game characters of course) but he still needs the pc to apply it all.
so basically whenever he's not doing anything interresting he will be stimming . except when eating and sleeping. how do you all deal with it? i have no idea because i was basically reading during my entire childhood, and my mother never saw it as a bad thing. should i give up and buy him his own computer? would it be a bad thing to do? it will be frowned upon by the school that's for sure. would i be doing this just to have peace when there are other solutions, and in that case what are the valid solutions?



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19 Oct 2010, 9:48 am

Here are a few things to try. First of all, you are a good mom. You love your son and you want what's best for him. Limiting his computer time is great. Use it when YOU really need the break from him. You have to take care of yourself so you can be there for your family.

For the noise level, you might want to try a visual reminder to lower his volume. Make up a sign you can hold up as a reminder, then you don't feel like you are shushing him so much. And visuals are usually more effective for those w/ ASD.

For the stimming, I usually try to give the child some smaller motion that satisfies the same sensory need. If he really needs to be loud and use large muscles, is there a place outside that he could go? A lot of my students spend most of their time indoors and it would be good for them to get outside. Maybe you could make a ditinction between outside movements and inside movements. If going outside is not an option, maybe he could do repetitive movements that would be more effective for his sensory needs. Jumping jacks, push ups, squeezing a ball, hanging from a bar etc....

I hope this helps. Good luck.



ediself
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19 Oct 2010, 10:04 am

push ups :lol: good idea, but i think he would tire out very quickly...there is no real " outside"as in a garden, the only times he goes out is with his friends ( we live in a small village and the kids just go play together behind the school unsupervised) and he knows better than to stim when his friends are around ( except some light jumping when excited), i think he just lets go when he's safely at home, and after school is the worst. as i say the only place out of my eyesight is his bedroom, but that's a bit rude to tell someone to go do what he does somewhere else just because it gives you a headache, especially when they have been cntrlling themselves all day at school, and even if he's my son i feel he has the same right of jumping around as i have to read a book, after all we're at home. BUT: i still can't stand it lol.....
so maybe the smaller motions would be good , but as he apparently indeed needs to be using all of his muscles at once, ( lol picturing this hahahha no it's not like he's some kind of electrified puppet...) just jumping a lot.....and he's not aware of what he's doing so much. if i ask he'll say "nothing"...why do you jump? huh i dont know. ok then. it's so constant it's just his natural way to be at home, so i don't know how i could ask him to do it differently....
ps: if i decided to use your visual reminder thing, i would have to physically turn him around, have him face the sign,wait until he actually looks at it, and that doesn't even mean he would obey.



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19 Oct 2010, 10:19 am

OK. It sounds like when he is at home he may not even realize he's jumping sometimes. So maybe you could designate a "jumping area". It would not have to be in his room so you don't feel like you are secluding him, but you could move away from the area if you need to. It might take awhile for him to get used to, but maybe it would be a good compromise if he were in the jumping area instead of bouncing all over the house. The bouncing all over the house thing would drive most people nuts so don't feel bad about that. The ideal thing would be a small round trampoline if you could get one and have a space to put it. We use them at school and the kids love them.

If you think the push ups would wear him out quickly you may want to consider doing this at bedtime. Wearing them out isn't always a bad thing.

If you would like to email me directly my email is [email protected]

Hope you find a solution!



ediself
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19 Oct 2010, 10:23 am

trampoline is something i thought abut, we were looking at toys for ideas for christmas together, and he showed me this, i thought it was a great idea, i even told him , that way you will have a place to jump in peace! the house is big enough and we have a ground floor so no issues there. i'll be looking into this i think....maybe he'd start walking instead of jumping from armchair to armchair when he's in the living room then :P i like the idea.



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19 Oct 2010, 10:26 am

Great! If he has already shown interest in it, then he is likely to use it. I think it's a great idea. Sometimes kids know what they need. How old is your son?



ediself
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19 Oct 2010, 10:33 am

he's almost 9. birthday in december, not long to wait for the trampoline! ( can't really buy him a trampoline now and presents for birthday and christmas in december, that's way too expensive..)



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19 Oct 2010, 10:40 am

I understand. I think it is best to make it for a special event anyway. That way it makes it more exciting and something he will really have fun with. Let me know how it works out. You might enjoy jumping on it too. They are a lot of fun and it's great exercise.



ediself
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19 Oct 2010, 10:43 am

oh, i know i'd love it :lol: i love the feeling.



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19 Oct 2010, 11:15 am

I'm a life long jumper, and over time have acquired some pretty amazing ups as a result. So that kind of stimming can definately be beneficial. I guess its a trick of getting him to do in the proper place at the proper times.



ediself
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19 Oct 2010, 11:22 am

oh so i should get a proper trampoline so he could do tricks on it you think? i was just thinking of a basic small round one...not good enough?



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19 Oct 2010, 11:46 am

ediself wrote:
my son is super loud. he also bounces about most of the day. is there anything i can do to moderate this? i'm as myself and have super low tolerance to constant movement like that, i always thought it was the noise that bothered me, but after years of doing "shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! !!"i realised the movements are what make me crazy. I can always say "go do that in your bedroom"and i do, but i can't make him live in there can i...and it only stops when he's on the computer designing some video game or something, so it's either: give him the computer so you can have peace, and i also have to set a time limit as good parents do ( don't let him on the computer all day you freak) or send him to his bedroom.
i bought him proper art material, like paint and good paper and all kinds of ruler/set-square/compas and whatnot, he did spend a few days drawing ( video game characters of course) but he still needs the pc to apply it all.
so basically whenever he's not doing anything interresting he will be stimming . except when eating and sleeping. how do you all deal with it? i have no idea because i was basically reading during my entire childhood, and my mother never saw it as a bad thing. should i give up and buy him his own computer? would it be a bad thing to do? it will be frowned upon by the school that's for sure. would i be doing this just to have peace when there are other solutions, and in that case what are the valid solutions?


Your situation sounds similar to mine. Stimulant meds (experimenting with Adderall and Ritalin) seem to help with my son's loudness and hyperactive movement, and his ability to focus in school. Another opinion; it would probably be best for your son to have his own computer and the freedom to spend a lot of time using it if that is where his interests and talents are.



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19 Oct 2010, 12:15 pm

ediself wrote:
oh so i should get a proper trampoline so he could do tricks on it you think? i was just thinking of a basic small round one...not good enough?



I would start w/ a small one first and see where it goes. Trampolines can be dangerous so safety is an issue. I would not advise getting him his own computer at such an early age. His interests lie there yes, but interests can become obsessions. The trampoline will be more beneficial to his health.



ediself
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19 Oct 2010, 12:23 pm

yeah interests are always "obsessions"to the outside world, at least if you want to actually achieve some success in this area...i think the tramplonie idea is really gd. still talking about the computer part with my hubby, he thinks it's stupid to withold it, i think it is indeed but isn't that what we're supposed to do? so i have no ground and just apply what i've heard ...



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19 Oct 2010, 1:30 pm

I agree with your hubby. A computer should not be withheld unless it is simply unaffordable. So-called "obsessions" are a part of AS, and often make an AS person more comfortable and successful in life (ie. a career as a computer programmer or engineer). An AS person should never be made to conform to what the neurotypical world considers to be normal and healthy. We are different, and having special interests is a difference that should at least be accepted if not encouraged and nurtured.



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19 Oct 2010, 1:46 pm

I would not withhold the computer, but supervise its use closely. Your child will benefit from having other interests especially when he gets older. The teenage years can be very difficult if they are not interested in any of the areas that their peers are. The social gap will continue to widen as he gets older. He needs all the help that yu can give him interacting with peers. Sitting in front of a computer will not help his social skills at all.