Bit my son's head off...

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Ah dear Lord!! Now, that I've stopped crying after what I had done, I can now talk about it.
Since the summer, my son who is a tween had a crush on a classmate. Since September, I have to hear him make a big deal out of every crumb of affection she throws at him as if it were a big loaf of bread. Today, I snapped at him and screamed that he is better than this!!
I just couldn't stand it anymore...making a big deal just because this girl spoke to him...and it's always after he speaks to her first. He's called her twice, sent postcards, little trinkets and a birthday card and NEVER got as much as a simple "thank you". I told him off.
It was time!! His mouth just hung open. He was stunned. But he agreed. I don't want him growing into an adult male and hanging on to any bit of s**t that a girl throws at him like it's a golden egg. He's got to feel like he's worth more. I just wish I didn't scream and yell like a lunatic but I just couldn't take it anymore. The sun doesn't shine out of her ass.

I'm sorry - the last sentence you posted made me laugh.

I agree - yelling was not the best way to approach the subject, but it was the right message. You really don't want him to grow up thinking that a relationship should be anything less that reciprocal. He must be quite mature however to be able to recognize it when you called him on it. I remember my mother trying to intervene in a similar fashion and it backfired horribly. Every time (I picked very poorly). Good job, Mom.

I found the title of this thread very, very disturbing before I read the message.

I would imagine such pestering a girl without having anything being reciprocated inappropriate. I agree something should have been said to him about it.

I'm not suggesting that yelling is a good strategy, but if you never yell, and you yelled this time, it probably made quite an impression! It's good that he was able to hear you, and that you were yelling because you were being protective of him and not yelling at him for doing something that you were angry at him for, really, or something that's silly in the scheme of things (dishes on the table, clothes on the floor, ...). Being protective of him is a whole different thing. Give yourself a break - after you pull yourself together, apologize to him for how you expressed yourself, reiterate that you love him and want a positive, healthy relationship for him, and that you see him as a fabulous kid who is worthy of a truly good, reciprocal relationship. He knows that this came from love.

Just like our kids need to learn about reciprocal conversation, many of them need to learn about other kinds of reciprocal relationships. I'm not sure that we mothers are the best teachers for this, but if there's no one else to teach them, we have to!

If you're going to lose it over something, losing it over someone not valuing your child adequately is a great reason!

Your human and you're a parent to a kid that yea they set us off so give yourself a break and let it slide.

You probably made an impression though. I can recall my Mum nagging me to get up and help her with stuff when I was a teen. Finally and totally out of character she came in shouting blue murder, pulled the mattress out from under me so I went clonk down on the base and threw it down on top of me and tore out of the room.
It really got through though for sheer shock value, I lay there under my mattress marveling at my Mum, and thinking I really better get up and help her.

hahah it's all good, he probably got the fact that you love him from your "YOU'RE WORTH MORE THAN THIS S**T!!"
he's big enough to get it. and it probably did him good. he does need to understand that reciprocal love is much sweeter than gathering scraps of attention from the floor. i used to be like him as a teenager though, but that idea of "suffering for love is much more romantic than being happy and bored" will pass. he'll grow out of it!