Looking back for childhood symptoms

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It's been several months since I realized I likely have asperger's. I think I'm going to have to explain it to my mother soon, but I honestly don't know how she will react. I think it's possible that she might not believe me since I managed to live this long without anyone noticing. (I'm 22.) Maybe I'm wrong about that, but I would still like to be able to ask her some questions about my behavior as a child. I can show her an exhaustive list of my current symptoms but I want to find out if I showed any early signs. Are there any common traits that would be hard to ignore in childhood? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

ask her if she got a lot of "this child has no limits and no respect for authority, you should be stricter, a bit of spanking never hurt anybody"that kind of things. she should remember that...

That may be sailing into dangerous waters, because in my case, it doesn't work. I was a very well-behaved and quiet child. I was so because I did not want to provoke any unwanted interaction. I tried to be as respectful as possible and when I couldn't be that because I just wanted to be alone, I would just hide somewhere.

My most typical childhood Asperger's trait was the exhaustive, one-sided conversation about something I was obsessed with. I could talk about the constellations, or officlal State birds endlessly. That and walking around in circles a lot (following lines or patterns in the carpet)... Oh, and I did not like toys much; I preferred to play with PARTS of toys. I was more fascinated with the ladder off my toy fire engine than I was in the fire engine, and most of my toys ended up in little pieces.

I was a very well-behaved kid as well. I enjoyed not being noticed. I don't think I ever had to be disciplined for anything.

I did used to talk endlessly about the band Kiss. They were a long-term obsession growing up.

I was also very much into Legos, but not in the typical way. I used to build Legos strictly according to the instructions that came with the set, and maintain them forever. I had a huge box of blocks but almost never created anything original. I was only interested in acting out space operas with my completed ships.

I created original spaceships with my legos - always spaceships and robots.
Never used the instructions becasue I usually got random piece sets.

I did, however, as you put it "maintain them indefinitely" - though I disassembled them on a regular basis ("broke" them) I would always immediately repair them to the same state they'd been in prior to being disassembled. I refused to let anyone else disassemble them.

As for telling your mom.. best of luck. I failed when I tried. In fact, there was a glorious (sarcasm) meltdown in the kitchen with my back pressed against the sink and tears filling my eyes. Be wary. Be prepared. And more importantly, don't tell her on your time - tell her on her's: Schedule it - "mom I have something important to discuss with you, tell me when you have time".

I think doing my typical "I have somethign to talk at you about and now is the time" blundering interfered somewhat with her receptivity to the idea.

Before doing all this, ask her if she has your old report cards. You might find teachers comments like "shy but intelligent" "head down, doesn't meet gaze" "selectively talkative" "doesn't join in group activities" etc.

Once you look through that stuff and find examples you can compare to AS "symptomology" you're halfway to having incontrovertial (haha) evidence. Arm yourself before you go into it. And preface the whole thing with (or have written) the REASONs you are seeking a diagnosis?

Thank you for sharing your experience.

I don't even know if I want a diagnosis. I'm very confident in my self-diagnosis, and whether or not I meet the requirements, I have almost every common trait I've read about and it's been a life-changing realization learning about autism. I just dont want my family thinking I'm shy and lazy because I can't make any meaningful connections in my life.

I don't know where you're located (countrywise) but there are sometimes social or government groups that can help you get things in line. I've recently come across this fine group that has helped me wade through government paperwork - even to the extent where they went WITH me to the government offices.

Hate to admit I needed someone to hold my hand at 34, but some of those government receptionists can be completely #$%@$y and demeaning when you don't hear or understand them the first time...

Ps - I'm in the same boat... Just encountering it. If ONLY I'd learned about ASDs when I was 22!

I myself, I feel I have alot of traits of Aspergers, if I don't have it, but I'm 28 now, and just not trying to go through the hassle of getting diagnosed. But me, I was always a target for the bullies, I excelled in music (I was in all district band twice, and had a chance to go All-State), I was always very quiet, I only had one or two choice select friends (still this way today), I don't like looking people in the eyes (I tend to stare at their mouth), subjects that I was interested in I maintained straight A's in, I hated doing homework and it was a war to get me to do it (mainly in subjects I hated), some hygiene problems (like being told to have to take a shower, which I am very guilty of skipping out on even today), once I have my mind set on a particular view it's hard to change it, and most often will refuse to even see your side. I was pretty much a loner (with the exception of one or two close friends), I HATED group work, I can write really great essays, and my English teachers would always have to explain the subtext for me, or the metaphors/similes/symbols but would normally understand once the teacher explained. Oh, and cleaning house, I'm practically worthless in that dept, unless it's someone else's house (mainly my friends, but I think they have adapted to me) My decorating skills are crap too, I can never make a house look like a "home", all those little details seem to evade me.
I have my special interests too, I have had a life long obsession with SheRa, unicorns, and animals/pets. I really like useless trivia, and I'm full of it. Since my son started displaying symptoms of autism, now I must find out everything that I can about it, that and hyperlexia (my son's co-Dx)
I can't stand really bright lights, I go to tearing up, and my eyes close, even when I try with all my might to keep them open. I can not stand the sound of machinery, especially drills, chainsaws, excessively loud motorcycles and cars (but I think that is everyone), and I'm always cold (idk if that really fits in there though, my mom says I just have crap for blood)
I get really stuck on food, a few months ago I was stuck on seafood and chowder, and my meal had to consist of some kind of seafood product (like alfredo and shrimp. crab and alfredo, fried shrimp, oyster stew, tuna steak, and so on), right now I'm stuck on eggs, prolly because I'm raising chickens, and I think it's the neatest thing to have eggs that fresh.
I still walk on my tiptoes often, and still like to spin in circles, prolly why I've been a dancer for the past 9 years. Oh yeah, did I mention I love to dance
I had depression from an early age, about 4th grade from all the bullies, I always had my own sense of style, and growing up in small towns, my purple, or red hair was frowned upon, and people would call me weird.
My feelings got hurt very easily
I made a trip up north to see my father's family recently, and alot of the men displayed alot of symptoms, they were obsessed with cars (like my son is, particularly ford, just like my son too). All of the men grew up to be mechanics, and knows cars and all other machinery inside and out. They can listen to a motor run and tell you what the problem is with it. They just knew everything about motors, and that is ALL they would talk about. I also saw where my organizational and decorational skills came from, cause all of my uncle's houses looked like mine, which looked like my grandma's. But there is too much diversity to explain that group.
So well, I think I've rambled on enough, and time to quit, but believe me I could go on much much longer.

I guess I don't see a need for you to tell her unless you think there are things she can do to help you now, as an adult. ESPECIALLY, if you haven't gotten a documented diagnosis. If you aren't wanting to get that, they why the need to tell your mother?

It's good for you to know - diagnosed or not and for your future, but what can her knowing do for you? It's not a death sentence or a cause for alarm - it's who you have always been.

What I did immediately prior to my third and final diagnosis was, "Dad, may I see my old report cards? I have a friend in the education program [he was] and I'm helping him with a project [I wasn't], so it would be helpful to see what the teachers' comments were on my report cards when I was a kid [it was]."
It took some convincing, but he got them out and I memorized the pertinent comments (things like "does not play with other children," "shows no interest in other children," "too one-sided," and so on) to write down when I was alone. Then I took these in with me when I went. Those and my memories of my childhood were all I had, because there was no way I was bringing family into that (and in the end, I wasn't asked to).
Occasionally, I brought up subjects that elicited information I'd never previously had. For instance, I would mention my daily resource room trips in the first grade, which I had had because I was too academically advanced to take subjects like mathematics or social studies with my classmates. However, the last time I said something about it, my father added a sentence I'd never heard before - that I was too academically advanced "but socially ret*d." Revealing information indeed!

As to telling them, I can't advise you on that - it's up to you. The very idea of telling my parents gives me shivers. (They do know now, in fact, but not because I particularly wanted to tell them; that's a whole story in and of itself. I still wouldn't have chosen to tell them.)

I was no trouble to my parents really, quiet, polite and well behaved. Spent most of my time alone, reading, playing games or crafting. Only person I really played with was my brother or another girl from school who was basically the odd one out/social reject. As a teenager I didn't go out, only drunk a bit, never stayed out late so I don't suppose there was much that was memorable about my childhood in a way that they would think there was something wrong with me. I always got called shy so they most likely just thought that's why I didn't have many friends etc

I actually lucked out a bit too - I went back into my childhood medical records for a medical condition I'm having looked at again, and found three notes in '87 suggesting I ought to be seen by a psychologist.. notes about being shy, head away, hunched shoulders from one doc and extremely talkative on certain subject" on the other. A few other such comments here and there over the years.

( and no - there's no correlation with social troubles [surprisingly] linked with the medical issue I am pursuing )

After I was diagnosed, I took a good look at my childhood. The problems/symptoms were so obvious when I was young, it was like a slap in the face. I was very upset for my parents for not recognizing it 10 years earlier. It made my life very difficult.

I have AS. I swear my father has AS as well from his discriptions of his childhood.

I'm pretty sure my dad has AS too, maybe even full autism and maybe one of my brothers as well. I am still debating whether to bring it up once I have my diagnosis (or before) as he will take it badly, see it as a defect and probably blame himself for me and my brother having it too. Then again it could change his life... I don't blame my parents for not realizing, they'd probably never heard of it when I was little and even now most likely know very little and I did present any challenging or worrying enough behavior as a child that they'd of looked for help for me

Thank you all very much.

I think I will continue to build some kind of a document about myself and show it to my mom eventually if I really have some explaining to do. I suppose it would be an unnecessary burden at this point.