When to tell child about Aspergers

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My son is 13 years old and has been diagnosed with aspergers. We got the diagnosis about 2 years ago, I'm wondering when to try to explain his different way of seeing things. I never want to say it is a syndrome.. I just dont believe that .. I think its a different way of viewing the world, but I'm wondering when you should discuss this with your child? Any advice would be so appreciated.

Tell him when you're ready to explain it, not as his different way of seeing things, but as everyone else's different way of seeing things.

I'm going to explain that its a different way of seeing things , some people don't see things the way he does but some do . To me it isn't something that is a "sydrome" I just think its a new way of looking at the world.

Ask if he has any problems, is sad or seriously depressed. If he is not having any serious problems you can wait but you have to keep a barometer on how happy he is and get insight into his inner world of what he thinks about the world. If it is not effecting him (he is not sad, angry, depressed, etc) then you don't have to tell him right away, but if he has AS he's going to have to learn about relationships at some point and if he is terribly socially then he needs to know why.

Tony attwood has an excellent book here:

http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-As ... 843106698/

When he starts asking why he is so different. When my mom told me, she said I had a learning different style and I see things different than other people and that my mind works different too.

The whole "it's another way of seeing the world" speech is fine, but please be realistic about it and it's difficulties. I think most aspies would appreciate that more, and he will feel better understood and acknowledged if he does have a lot of difficulties.

But yes, do tell your child. 13 is old enough.

yes I do understand the difficulties, I just think that most of it is lack of understanding .. I truly believe its another way of viewing things its a different mindset and i'm never going to tell him that it is anything "wrong" because I dont believe that. I will explain that his view of the world is different than most people , but that doesnt make his view wrong.. you know? He has 4 brothers and a sister who adore him so he has a really good support group. He knows that his views are different but for instance his brother who is 10 and his best friend is sort of off the charts IQ wise and wierd acting himself lol and those two have been inseparable for years.

my son is 4 and has classic autism. my so and i were talking this past week about when we will discuss his diagnosis with him, and its probably going to be in about 2-3 years, if things continue progressing as they are now. he is very intelligent and at 4 he is already starting to notice differences between himself and others. right now its the fact that he cant write his name and other kids can, and hes already acknowledged to us that school is scary for him mainly because people try to talk to him. he goes to OT and ST outside of class. right now we simply use the "some people cant write when they are 4" or "some people need help learning how to make all their sounds". as the gulf widens between what he can do and what his classmates can - academically, physically, and socially - i dont anticipate those reasons are going to be explanatory enough.

chronological age has little to do with it. it should happen when your child has the intellectual ability to understand and/or when they've started to notice their differences. it should happen BEFORE they or others have labeled them for those differences. a child WILL label themselves, they will wonder "whats wrong with me?" if they dont already have an answer for those differences.

i think for a lot of asd kids, that time is long before 13. most 13 yr olds dont share with their parents all that they are feeling, so its rather hard to get a gauge on what they are feeling and thinking about themselves. certainly if they spend school time in therapies, the resourse room, or with aides, they and the other kids have already noticed that there is some difference. better that it has a real name, otherwise kids will come up with their own.