I posted this in a different section of the forum before I realized this one existed. I'd like to apologize now for that.
First let me admit that I am not at all versed or familiar with autism/asperger's. With this post I am hoping to gain some insight into what may be going on with my stepson. Let me also state that we are taking the proper steps to diagnose him medically but we've just started to get the ball rolling so it's taking some time.
Let me begin by telling you that Gavin recently turned 5. He was born prematurely..arriving nearly 4 weeks early. Besides his size he was a normal and healthy baby. He hit all of his milestones in an "appropriate" time frame and besides the normal cold and a few ear infections here and there he has never been sick.
In the past year or so we've started noticing some things with him. Certain traits he has that seem a lot different than our other 5 year old, who is 4 months older than Gavin. Little quirks that as he gets older seem to place him further and further away from his classmates.
First I guess the biggest thing is the fits. He's usually very easy going but recently more and more little things that shouldn't be a big deal set him off into these tailspin fits that can last anywhere from 15-60 minutes. Things like someone else sitting in "his" chair at the dinner table or getting his toenails clipped. Getting his toenails clipped has turned into quite the production with two people holding him down to get it accomplished. He has no issue at all with the fingers..but the moment you go for the toes all hell breaks loose. He kicks and screams even before you've started. Sometimes we can curve the severity of the fit by distracting him with the iPad but it's still never an easy task. He wants to have socks and shoes on ALL THE TIME. No matter what. For him being completely barefoot is unacceptable. When the fits occur we explain to him that he isn't in trouble but that he needs to remain in his room until he can calm himself down and when he has he is welcome to come out. It usually takes at least 30 minutes of screaming and a couple of talks to get him to calm. And let me clarify that during this time he's not throwing a fit. He's not throwing things or having a tantrum. It's literally like he's unable to stop. He says repeatedly that he can't stop and tells us over and over again that his neck "hurts". Every time he cries he tells us that...that his neck hurts. Another thing that sends him into a fit like this is band-aids. If one is even brought near him he flips out. His anxiety level goes through the roof if there's a band-aid around. Also loud music does this but he has no issues sitting in a movie theater and watching a movie.
He also has an issue with eye contact. If we're trying to speak to him we make a point to remind him over and over again to look at our eyes. We get down to his level to make it easier and his eyes look everywhere but at us. When trying to talk to him about why he may have been in trouble or explaining to him a task he can't focus. He will interrupt with a completely random thought or you can tell that he's completely tuned out and in his own little world. When asked to repeat what you've just said to him he rarely can. Yesterday he had gotten a verbal scolding for losing a video game that he was told repeatedly to keep track of (put it back in it's case when you get a new one out) and he was simply asked to help us look for it. While his mother and I were looking all over his room he simply stood there. When he was asked to help look he would walk to another area of the room and pick up something completely random and simply ignore our request. Until finally he was told that since he was unable to help look for it that we would be taking his video game from him for the remainder of the day...then the fit started.
He doesn't shy away from affection..he has no issues hugging or with you kissing him on the cheek but if it involves him kissing you or a kiss on the lips it's as though it physically pains him to do so. He does not like kissing on the lips. At all. Period. And he can be very clingy. He wants to hold mine or his mother's hand 24/7 if we're out. We've made it a point to tell him that he's 5 and that he can do things on his own so lately we've been telling him that he's not allowed to hold a hand unless it's needed.
Socially he does great with his stepsister because they're around each other 24/7 but with kids he doesn't know so well or kids at the park he will often times be found playing alone. Kids will come up and ask him to play or to join them in a game and he never does. He is very socially awkward and lacks any confidence in that department whatsoever. We've put him in karate thinking it would be a good confidence booster but so far I've seen little change in him. Though he does enjoy going but still keeps to himself mostly.
He's VERY smart. He can be told something once and it's in there forever. He will remember someone's birthday forever. He can tell you ANYTHING you want to know about bugs, dinosaurs, the ocean and EVERY Marvel comic book character there ever was. Once he gets a question in his head he cannot stop obsessing about it until he is satisfied that he has learned all there is to know. A few weeks ago it was the ocean. He first asked how deep the ocean was so off to the computer we went to look up the deepest points of the ocean and from there it snowballed into a solid 2 hours of ocean research until finally I told him that we would head to the library the following day to get some books. He can name dinosaurs that I wasn't even aware existed. He has every book on dinosaurs we've ever come across and spends most of his day looking at them. Superheroes are his EVERYTHING. He is dressed like Spiderman, his current favorite, from the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed. He knows everything about Spiderman. He recognizes actors/actresses in other roles if he's seen them even once in a superhero movie. He can name all of the X-Men and tell you their powers. He attended Headstart this year and out of the 22 kids in his class was the only one to master syllables and he did so with very little help. It just made sense to him. Seriously, the kids learns something once and it's stored for life. But unless it's something that he's interested in he has a hard time focusing and retaining anything.
He's extremely uncordinated. To the point where no matter how much we practice he's still yet to master things like skipping, pedaling a bike or even a jumping jack. I also thought karate would help with this..again, it hasn't so far. Because of this he's also scared to try things like certain playground equipment or even climbing a tree. He watches his sister climb to the top and he stays on the ground saying that he just can't do it. He also uses his fingertips a lot. When grabbing things or gripping them instead of using his fingers and palm he uses his fingertips in a very dainty way. For example, putting his shoes on can take him 5-10 minutes simply because he will not grip the shoe. He will only grab with this fingertips.
He has texture issues with some foods but for the most part is a great eater. The things he won't eat are potatoes or anything with that texture. Though he is going through a phase where he doesn't want to eat meat because he's now realized that it's an animal the thought of eating an animal upsets him. He's VERY concerned about animals and the environment. It's to the point where the other day we saw land they had cleared to make way for a new neighborhood and he cried because the trees had been cut down.
He's hyperactive in comfortable environments. If we're home he will bounce off of the walls. No matter how many times he's told to calm down it's like he can't. He talks and talks and talks. If he's asked to please be quiet you can literally see in his face that it's extremely hard for him. If he can't talk he'll let little sounds escape from him. Weird sounds. If he has something to tell you but you ask him to hold on a minute he gets anxious and can't control it and starts whining and stuttering until he can tell you want he needs to say.
He has little ticks...or at least what I would assume are little ticks. He will hit himself in the face randomly and will take the tip of his index finger and touch the corners of his eyes. Speaking of his eyes...don't even think about wiping the morning eye boogers out...he will lose his mind. Only he can touch around his eyes. Also, the above mentioned "little noises"....they happen ALL THE TIME. He's very easily embarrassed and when it happens he will hit himself in the face or head. There have been a few instances where he's hit his head into the wall when having a fit.
I'm sure there is more to tell but this is what is coming to mind at the moment. We've been to the pediatrician and I've shared my concerns. She stated that it could be ADHD, general behavioral issues, autism/asperger's/something on the spectrum or a combination of any of it. She's ordered an EEG which we go for later this week and then more tests are being scheduled at VCU (a hospital in Richmond, VA).
I guess what I want to hear from you guys is your thoughts on his behavior plus what kind of testing should I be getting for him? I don't want him to be misdiagnosed so any helpful tips here would be great.
Literally any feedback/advise would be greatly appreciated, good or bad.
Again, he is undiagnosed and I don't want it to seem that I've diagnosed him myself. My intentions are not to offend in any way and if I've done so I would like to apologize.
Thank you,
Stefanie
Edited to add a couple of things:
Gavin smiles and laughs naturally for the most part but if you're taking a picture and ask him to smile he can't do it. The only pictures we have of him with an actual smile are ones that have been snapped candidly when he wasn't posing. He simply CANNOT smile on demand.
His diet is considered but probably not as closely monitored as it should be. He does not under any circumstance get soda or sugared drinks. He does get apple juice a few times per week but other than that he is limited to water/milk. Also desserts and treats are given as rewards and usually happen twice a week or so. We try to keep snacking healthy and fast food is also a treat that we allow twice a month. I'm not saying we're perfect. There are nights when we get home late and the kids are fed a bowl of cereal for dinner...but we do try.
05 Jul 2012, 1:00 pm
And it is quite reassuring and helpful to get the insight of a professional. We have seen great progress in just a month of occupational therapy--progress with everything from clumsiness to eating to turn-taking.
