IEP review tomorrow
03 Jan 2011, 6:12 pm
I'm not happy with the current goals or progress made.
This is what I sent prior to a behavior intervention plan meeting.
My husband says the focus on his behavior needs to be with managing his behavior, with the long term goal of him fixing his behaviors on his own. We agree it is important to track his behavior daily, not just because it is necessary to assess his progress on his IEP goals, but because when we also track what is being tried, it can show us what helps manage his behaviors and what doesn’t help (so we don’t have to keep reinventing the wheel).
That being said, you asked me for a list of my top 3 behavior concerns.
Here’s the short version:
1. My son needs to be able to actively listen to classroom instruction, participate in his learning, and complete classroom assignments. He needs to stop being passively non-compliant (or actively defiant).
2. My son will need to learn proper social norms to be successful in many areas in life, including, but not limited to school, his career, and his interpersonal relationships. He needs to manage his inappropriate social behaviors (like humming, teasing etc).
3. My son needs to learn socially acceptable ways to cope when things aren’t going his way.
The long version:
I see a lot of worksheets that are covered in drawings, but with no completed work. I also get a lot of notes home that say that my son refused to do something.
My number 1 concern is the ability of my son’s educators and care providers being able to work with him to make sure he’s learning the core curriculum and completing his work to the best of his ability.
Certainly my son will try to get out of doing things at home that are not preferred activities, like homework, piano practice, cleaning up his room or his messes, or even going out to do a fun activity if it was not an activity of his choosing. The trick to getting cooperation or compliance seems to be to figure out why he is “refusing” to do what is asked. It’s not the same answer every time and you really need to get to know him to best help him. He doesn’t like to do math worksheets because they’re too hard. That’s what he tells himself before he even glances at the work. If you help him with just one or two problems he will generally complete the sheet on his own. With vocabulary work the problem seems to be with paper to pencil tasks. He doesn’t like writing (unless it’s something *he* wants to write). At home, I will often scribe for him on his vocabulary worksheets, but I make him answer all of the questions. Other times I will do sentence starters and all he’ll have to do is complete the sentences (for assignments where he’s supposed to use each vocabulary word in a sentence).
Sometimes I just have to recognize that I’m pushing him out of his comfort zone and I need to be empathetic but firm. It’s important to not get into a power struggle. He can be extremely stubborn and can be very rigid in his thinking. This can look like he’s being disrespectful or being defiant. I think the counseling and group therapy is supposed to help with that issue. In the meantime I have to remind myself to “pick my battles”. If I’m not sure what’s going on with my son, I simply talk to him about what’s going on. I wonder if his teachers have the time to talk to him when he’s not doing something. I can often sway him with some listening and simple reasoning.
My second concern is about his social skills. I am aware that he does things that are socially unacceptable and downright annoying, like his humming. Sometimes he does hum louder when asked not to. I wonder why that is. Is he trying to get attention? I see it as there is a need that’s going unmet. Other times he hums or sings and he is NOT doing it to get attention. I suspect it’s a sensory thing or a coping mechanism. I would hope that he is being paired up with children that model good social maturity and manners. Again, I think his social skills therapy should be helping in this area but some positive reminders, that do not focus attention directly on him or use him as an example, could go a long way in helping him to be successful socially in school.
My third behavior concern is his ability to cope when things aren’t going his way. He still has “meltdowns” when he doesn’t get his way. At school he might hide under his desk, he might run to another classroom, he might break his pencil. At school, his educators have the difficult task of figuring out when he isn’t able to cope (versus being a brat) and how to help him deal with his issues in a social acceptable manner.
Thank you for taking the time to get through this. I hope it helps to set the stage for our upcoming meeting.
We did not formalize a behavior intervention plan. There was no functional behavior assessment. They initiated a new tracking sheet on 12/6 and a few new reinforcers. The tracking sheet has not been consistently used (and I do recognize December is a hectic month) . I still have no way of knowing how many assignments he has the opportunity to complete vs how many he's actually completing. This is frustrating because one reinforcement is my paying him a quarter for every assignment he completes.
Tomorrow we have our annual IEP review. I'm not pleased with the assessments on his IEP progress report. They're either blank, or not dated and none of them indicate who wrote the assessment on his current goals. I'm not happy with some of his current goals altogether. I honestly don't remember some of them being added. Did I really sign off on a goal for him to "sit in his chair with his feet down 90% of the time"?
He has one goal that states he "will follow directions in the general education classroom 80% of opportunities during 6 consecutive weekly observation periods". It says the goal is met and there are no comments on it, however he completes next to no work in school so how can be be following directions?
Can anyone share the goals they have that are geared towards classroom skills, work completion, following directions and/or making and maintaining friendships? My son is able to make and keep friends in his autism class, but not with the mainstream kids. If he has a change of placement next year he'll be at a new school that doesn't have an autism cluster. He needs help making and keeping friends with the NT kids.
04 Jan 2011, 9:12 am
One trick I have learned is that when you go to an IEP meeting you have to kiss some
keister. Let them think you are so grateful to their insight. And in a sweet but
firm way direct them where you want them to go. Act appreciative but demanding. It is a fine
balance. You can do this. Your goal is not pleasing them but getting what you want for your
child. But you may have to ACT like your are trying to please them. Kiss the keister.
Keep reminding them that his bad behaviros NEVER happen at home.
That he is stressed by his classroom with lack of support.
If you go into the IEP meeting telling them you are unhappy with the goals they will
not react in a positive way. They are going to try to prove you wrong, blame the child
and forget their purpose.
I am far too new here to addresss all of your IEP concerns. But I want to add that
sometimes there is this long list that may be unrealistic for the child. And the school will
feel overwhelmed and angry that you are "asking soooo much." You are not! you are not
asking too much but remember they want to blame the child not help him. They will
be stuck in the list and not on the child. This dream of what he could be rather than
what he is today.
This may feel crazy but try to narrow down to one focus and the rest will fall in line.
Often you are dealing with simple minds and they need a simple solution. Break it down
for them by saying you want one main thing. And when you explain. I only want one thing.
They will be shocked.
Lets try...
What is the one most important IEP goal you want for your son right now?
Give yourself 10 seconds.
What is it?
Let pretend that you want him to be in a regular classroom.
That should lead the IEP. The goal should not be on getting the "busy" work done but
rather he is able to be in the classroom and enjoy himself. Feel safe, happy, healthy
and able to participate with the group. Not tease other students.
Does he feel welcome, loved, appreciated and able to make friends?
That is your goal. And they may say they are doing it but they really are not. Don't argue
with them instead redirect them on how they plan to do this. You will have to tell
them how to do it. They are clueless.
Everytime they try to complain about his behavior your calm reaction needs to be
He is under stress, you must improve his class enviroment in order to reach the
one goal of being in a regular classroom. keep at it. Keep redireting them to what
you want.
They want him to stop humming? Are they insane this is how he copes. Fools.
The fact he is humming means he is trying to find a way to cope with his surroundings.
This is to block out the stressors around him. By humming it is a constant noice
that he can control and it is a coping mechanism for his stressful surroundings. Who
cares if he is disturbing the other students. The teachers needs to understand the
humming will probably stop, fade or change when he feels safe. Humming is a good
thing. They need to use humming as a way to help him control himself.
Maybe they need to provide him with headphones with soft relaxing music.
Have a reward system for when he is doing what they want him to do. If he is nice
to other students and does not tease he gets a special sticker, treat or fun activitiy.
They need to address his behaviors by providing more support.
When they complain that he is teasing the other students?
You respond with "Why do you think that is? He never teases others in other
situations, clearly he is under stress! How do you plan to fix this? What do you
want to put in his IEP . I think a one on one aide would help him. And it would
certainly help the teachers and others students in the classroom."
Your three issues are all under the catagory of being in a regular classroom..
1. My son needs to be able to actively listen to classroom instruction, participate in his learning, and complete classroom assignments. He needs to stop being passively non-compliant (or actively defiant).
2. My son will need to learn proper social norms to be successful in many areas in life, including, but not limited to school, his career, and his interpersonal relationships. He needs to manage his inappropriate social behaviors (like humming, teasing etc).
3. My son needs to learn socially acceptable ways to cope when things aren’t going his way.
All three can be addressed with a one on one aide by his side at all times. The teacher
will appreciate the extra support and your son will be a part of the classroom. He will slowly
but surely learn that when he feels like humming he can put on his music head phones.
Or when he feels like teasing it is because of the stress and instead he walks with his
aide to the water cooler in the hall or the library for a mental break from the classroom.
His defiance is a clear signal to the teacher and his aide that he needs a break to get away
or process his surroundings. They need to be his support. The school needs to teach
him how to help himself and stop blaming him. He is not being deviant, he is trying to
cope. They need to understand his perspective.
Keep reminding them that his bad behaviors NEVER happen at home. That he is stressed
by his classroom with lack of support. He needs supprt in order to have meet FAPE.
Free Appropriate Public Education.
You can do this Mom. Be strong, calm and get what you want. Kill them with kindness.
| Similar Topics | |
|---|---|
| Review of OKCupid as of 12/12/2024 |
03 Jan 2025, 4:06 am |
| Beyond 2000/Tomorrow |
10 Dec 2024, 2:33 am |
| (Probably) Disclosing for the First Time Tomorrow |
25 Nov 2024, 1:44 am |
| Trump to impose tariffs on Canada, Mexico,China tomorrow |
13 Feb 2025, 6:26 pm |
