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Anna90
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09 Jul 2006, 1:01 pm

My daughter is 9 years old and I am waiting for her DX. I will know on Wed. The reason I am writing is because my daughter has such a hard time making friends. I am looking for anyone who may be in the same area with a child around her age. Maybe they can get together to play. Most kids just think she is weird. They have told me this. She plays with 2 girls on our street but they are just so mean to her that I am done letting her play with them. She just keeps getting her feelings hurt over and over again. It is so sad sometimes to watch because she will sit by the window and watch them. I really can't take it anymore. We are usually pretty busy and are not home that often but when we are I would really like her to have someone to play with. I play with her a lot but one of the things the doctor said was she needs to play with kids her own age more. If anyone can help please let me know.

Thanks,
Anna



ster
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09 Jul 2006, 4:24 pm

sorry, we're from CT. my daughter also has issues playing with other kids...she thinks they're all her friends, but i've seen the way they treat her..........



ryansjoy
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09 Jul 2006, 7:00 pm

I have told parents of children that Abuse my son of their childs behavior. that its horrible and that they should be taught tolerance. My son just plain old will not play with other kids. and I never force it. maybe its the difference between the girl and boy thing.. truthfully I would not make a big issue of this.. what helps us is that we live in an apartment complex where there are so few kids. the few kids here I would not let him play with because they are unsupervised and my son knows that he will not get in trouble over their actions. they came to my door a few days ago to play and Ryan said Nahhh I don't want o go out. I think we as parents might feel this pain harder than they do.. or at least we think they feel the hurt but at times they are clueless to what they really understand. In many ways I am thankful Ryan has a few friends.. because some of the kids leave me to wonder what kind of parents are raising these kids. I wonder what they learn at home? how to be a ruthless horrible person? My mom always said if you see the child who acts this way 9 out of 10 times they have learned it from somewhere.. Anna keep a good thought that you keep her busy enough that she does not need these superfacial people to be her friends. and my advice.. call these kids out.. and when you see they are being terrible your daughter let them know you know. its creeps them out because they have been HAD! I do this all the time. here is more advice. call your local chapter of National Society of Autustic persons and see if there are activities and support groups that will help you out. this might lead you to find others who have the same problem as your daughter and you. these kids also have trouble making friends. do a search in your area to see if there is any local chapeters. your DR. might even be able to point you in the right direction. what I have found with my son is that he has trouble playing with Kids with AS because to him they are strange. its hard for a kid with AS to understand that others also have issues. hope some of this has helped you.

keep the faith!

Colleen



aspiesmom1
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09 Jul 2006, 9:29 pm

Have you looked into maybe signing her up for a class for something she enjoys? Painting, cooking, whatever. Unfortunately I moved from the area a few years ago and we're now in Texas.

My son's school has him in a group with another boy with AS, it was supposed to be a social skills class but the two boys basically stayed parallel and never interacted, and so the school had to add a few other more NT kids to the group to make it work. They later sent him to a forensics class at the local university which he loved.


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ryansjoy
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10 Jul 2006, 6:31 am

aspiesmom1 wrote:
My son's school has him in a group with another boy with AS, it was supposed to be a social skills class but the two boys basically stayed parallel and never interacted, and so the school had to add a few other more NT kids to the group to make it work. They later sent him to a forensics class at the local university which he loved.



my son also parallel other kids.. its strange because he plays around them and has little interaction with them. but he wants to go out and do this. i feel its one battle that I can win. when you put two kids with AS together they tend to do this.



doordoctor
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10 Jul 2006, 7:24 am

hey im in trenton and very close to philly geographically. i dont visit peopel i meet online but is there something that i can probably help with?


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doordoctor
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10 Jul 2006, 7:26 am

sorry to add i dont have any kids but i do have as myself just ask or pm me if you have any questions about aspergers syndrome.


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flowermom
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10 Jul 2006, 10:35 am

Hi Anna,

I have a five year old daughter with AS (we are in CA). I do have some suggestions for you. My daughter is in a social skills class and it has been great for her. There are four other girls in it ages 5 to 7 and they all get along great. Usually social skills groups will put kids together who are around the same age and at the same level of functioning. All the girls in my daughters group have AS and are pretty outgoing and interested in each other. Of course sometimes each one will go off on their own little conversational tangents, but overall they really enjoy each other. We have set up playdates outside the group and I personally enjoy talking with the other parents because we are all dealing with similar issues with schools, services, etc. Sometimes social skills are offered through schools, but ours is a private group run by a speech pathologist who works exclusively with children on the spectrum. If there is something similar in your area, I would highly recommend it.

Another idea is to see if there is an Asperger's support group in your area. We have one here and the wonderful man who runs it has a list of all the kids, their ages, special interests, etc. The older kids can come to the support meetings and hang out there and the younger ones can set up playdates via e-mail. Maybe something like this would exist in your area?

Best of luck to you. I know my daughter loves to play with other children, and I can totally relate to your experience with the "mean" girls on your street. We had a couple of those in my daughter's preschool class and it broke my heart when she would come home and cry because the girls would not play with her.

Take care,
Katie



elisha
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18 Jul 2006, 11:06 am

hi anna
im in the philadelphia area i have a recently dx 7 yr old son and i know just how you feel watching your child sit back and watch other children play, i even see it while my older son who is 9 is out playing and my young one is left out. i dont think having friends her own age will help the situation since that is easier said than done since our children need to be with other aspies.
good luck i wish you the best
elisha



GoddessofSnowandIce
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21 Jul 2006, 9:29 pm

I have a 3 (almost 4) year old. She has PDD-NOS (quite like AS, but she had a language delay). We got her DX from CHOP in November, though she had already begun receiving Early Intervention services at about 20 months of age.

She's doing well, partially because of all of the resources I took advantage of for her, but mostly because she's gifted with some amazing academic ablilities. Her ability to learn is what's going to help her through it.

Things can be difficult, however, especially since I'm an Aspie Mom. I don't have an official DX, but have come to learn the reason behind my oddities through my journey of education on my daughter's behalf.

I know that right now her social situation is easy. Kids her age don't really point out oddities as cruelly as kindergarten-aged children do, but eventually, my dear little girl may find herself lonely as I was growing up.

If I'm correct, it won't matter that there's a 5 year age difference between my child and yours. They will have a common mind and therefore, I'm sure, play nicely together. If you want to talk sometime, PM me. I'd be more than happy to help.


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25 Jul 2006, 10:35 am

No.



ster
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25 Jul 2006, 10:20 pm

you know....if you're interested, my daughter could sure use work on her handwriting~how about a penpal ?....they could write back and forth to each other, and CT isn't all that far from PA for a visit during August........ let me know if you're interested...it doesn't solve everything, but it might be nice for them to get together.