expending more energy to not do something

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When I was a kid, I used to take steps to avoid doing something like brushing my teeth. I tried to find something that would make a similar sound to teeth brushing and brushed that instead of my teeth.

I used to relieve myself in the morning by not going to the bathroom which was steps away but I went across the apartment to go in a corner.

Just wondering if anyone knew why a kid would expend so much energy to not do the right thing and engage in self-care?

My brother (who has AS) would lock himself in the bathroom, run a bath and sit there, not in the bath. My mother became wise to his lack of bathing and started smelling him, which my brother became wise to and started smearing soap on his wrists where my mother would smell.

My daughter resists things she "should" do aggressively as well---if she is outside she will not go inside to the bathroom she will just squat in the yard (although I think this may be due to being uncomfortable in the house alone), she hates bathing and tooth brushing as well as hair brushing or gettng dressed-I thought it was all sensory defensiveness but maybe it is oppositional????

My son will do this, too, on occasion - we have taken to smelling his breath and checking his toothbrush. I don't think he has any sensory issues with toothbrushing (or handwashing, which is another one we have to check up on.) Unfortunately, I don't have any insight on this one, either - but if you don't mind, maybe we can figure it out together?

My inclination is that my son spends most of his day being told what to do, when, and how - and these little things make him feel like he has some control over something, especially since it pertains to his own body. Does that sound right to you, MasterJedi?

I read somewhere that brushing their teeth in particular can be a huge sensory issue with the toothpaste of sensation of the toothbrush making them feel sick. My son (13) does not brush his teeth but I have decided not to turn this into a daily battle. The not bathing and body odor is a well known issue with AS. My own feeling is they think that they are the only one's who can smell their own odor, if that makes sense!? I don't think they know that others can too. I have made some headway with this from the point of view that my son will accept if he is going out somewhere that he needs to have a shower, it usually works but sometimes it doesn't. I used to make this a battle too but try not to these days although it gets pretty bad as we homeschool and are not always out that much. He will occassionaly take a shower himself but that's not very often. Again I read somewhere some kids have sensory issues with the sensation of the shower on their skin, I don't know, I don't think that's my son's issue. My daughter won't take a shower because the noise scares her, she will bathe, but not that frequently. I wouldn't say she was AS as such but she has a lot of the traits but is good with social skills, could be the male/female difference, trying to figure that one out at the moment.

it takes a lot more energy to keep from drowning in deep water than to just let yourself sink, but allowing yourself to drown would probably be more difficult.

I remember doing that, putting some toothpaste on my teeth to fool my mother...brushing my teeth made me want to vomit, not only the feeling of the brush but mostly the thought of the food that used to be stuck in your teeth and now are being played with and floating around in your mouth and ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.......
one thing that solved my problem was brushing my teeth WHILE in the shower. i could just spit out every five seconds, rinse, and then brush again correctly. The brush still makes me gag from time to time but that's never going to pass i think...
showers are awesome, but getting naked, waiting the few seconds for the water to heat up with your feet frozen, stepping out wet and having to dry off are a pain. The power of the water can hurt too, i solved this by putting a washing glove or clean sock on the head of the shower.
so steps i take: wait OUT of the shower for the water to heat up, adjust the heat, THEN undress. after: have a towel ready to wrap my hair into asap, then a huge robe i can put on AND dry up with at the same time.
clothes wait in the bathroom, i'm not about to step out in the freezing cold undressed and wet.
it may all be sensory for your kids too, there is no reason the be opositionnal about brushing one's teeth, i enjoy the clean feeling, it's just doing it that makes my sick.

weve always had issues getting our 14 yr old to brush his teeth. major issues. a visit to the dentist last month brought the news that he has the beginnings of gum disease. we are much more insistent now that he brush, whether he likes it or not. he isnt fighting it as much either. i had the dentist give him a frank description of what happens, including losing your teeth.

problems with self-help skills is a trait of autism, altho it only shows up in the diagnostic criteria as the lack of self-help issues being required for asperger's. still, a lot of those dx with as seem to have self-help skill deficits.

there is a mouthwash called SmartMouth that we just found that is suppose to give fresh breath for 12 hours. my autistic SO also doesnt brush his teeth and the result is breath bad enough to make me open the windows when we are talking in the car. he used this mouthwash yesterday and later on blew in my face and i couldnt smell anything at all. they also make toothpaste, gum, and mints. i plan to get some of the mints for my youngest as we cant get him to use toothpaste at all and his breath is suffering.

Which reminds me - another tool we've used (and, again, I don't think the brushing is a sensory issue with us; DS seems to enjoy it when he's actually doing it) is the Agent CoolBlue mouthwash that stains any areas that weren't brushed properly - or, if used before brushing, it shows areas that need more vigorous brushing. DS actually liked doing this; not sure why we gave it up, come to think of it.

This is not to say that there aren't kids who have sensory issues around self-care, but I think there's a concurrent or separate issue that I'd love better insight on.

This has boggled my mind too. DS will go for weeks without arguing or complaining one bit about brushing or washing his hands then out of the blue it suddenly turns into a battle again. I do think it is a control issue with him and not sensory since so much of the time he will do it without any hesitation and I know he does it because I stand in the bathroom with him. Maybe it is as momsparky says, he just gets to the point where he is overwhelmed with people telling him what to do and decides that he is going to take control by refusing to brush or wash.

I put a stack of laminated pictures on a hook in the bathroom with pictures of things he likes (cars, dogs, cats...) and I tell him we can just go in to the bathroom and look at the pictures and then talk about brushing or washing. The diversion seems to diffuse his opposition to the task (though it may take a while of looking through picutres until he finds just the right one he wants on the front of the stack!)