What the crud? Not sure about this teacher...

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My 13-year-old has been having a horrible time of it in 7th grade. She's being reassessed right now (the first one in 2008 was crap, but she's been insisting on doing things herself, and I finally had to take action) but meanwhile we have to help her try and raise her 3 Fs and a D even though nothing is yet changing at the school where they seem more interested in teaching kids to pile up papers than in filling their heads with useful stuff. I'm reasonably optimistic about the psych doing the assessment, however. She agreed that the earlier one was crap, and they didn't hesitate to agree that a new one was needed, considering her scores for the Woodcock-Johnson intelligence test indicated huge problems with working memory, short term memory, and speed. Nice to have them willing once in a while.

Well, they have this charming lil online grade web site. It lists absences and tardies, grades and progress reports, and every grade-earning assignment, when it was due, if and when it was turned in and graded, and what the grade was. Sounds pretty slick, huh?

As I said, she has 3 Fs. I try to find all her assignments with her and put them where she can turn them in (she forgets anyway) or ask her what she has for homework... Here I admit she sometimes glosses over the truth, yes, lies... Oh, yeah, I'm done Mom. Sure. It takes her so long to do her homework that I can't blame her for defending her free time, though I don't care for her lying and she knows it, but I can't always sit with her because she has younger siblings.

So, one of her 3 Fs is kinda out of my hands in that most of the work is done in school for science. She has to copy down summaries of a list of news stories in a small amount of time (well, she can't get them all). She gets no points, she tells me, if they are incomplete. She further tells me she is not allowed to take the weekly quiz if she hasn't turned in the completed daily news packet. She keeps forgetting her notebook questions. She couldn't get all the data for the lab report because she was meeting with the psychologist during science and can't catch the teacher fast enough after school; he leaves immediately.

But that's her story. And as we all now know, if she isn't a bald-faced liar she does at least shall we say bend reality her way when I put her on the spot... which complicates matters at best. What I need are facts or the closest I can get to them. And so, even though I was feeling rather irritated with him based on her reports, I e-mailed the teacher seeing as how she has a flat F-, zero, on the school grades web site, and she with her own report bears that out.

I was nice, honest. This is what I said:

"Hi, I'm Pinky's mom. I see that there are only a few weeks left in the quarter and she has, well, no points in science at all. Pinky has been having a very hard time keeping up with the workload in 7th grade in all courses but this is still a surprise. She is being assessed of course as part of an IEP process but they haven't come through with their data yet.
So I hope we can help her.

She says she is trying and I do believe that. But I only have her view of things and the Aeries site and these are just not telling me enough to explain it. To get the full picture, I need your perspective. What from your view can you see that she can do to get back on track? The assignments listed don't look elaborate or complicated. Here are some of the problems she has mentioned.

Daily News - she can't get it completed fast enough, and she tells me that she gets no points for turning in incomplete work, as well as not being allowed to take the quiz at the end of the week. Is this correct?

Workbook questions - she begins but keeps forgetting to finish or turn them in. We are working using her planner to correct this one.

Lab work - a couple of recent projects have been problematic because she missed a portion of each for either an absence or because she was called up to speak to the psychologist. She didn't get the data she needed and could not find time to speak to you about it.

Ideally, when she can't get information, I would e-mail the teacher, but she has so many subjects that she is struggling in that it's hard to find out in a timely way what the problem is on any given day. We also have to deal with the fact that she is sometimes reluctant to mention what will mean more work for her in addition to her actual homework.

Please let me know the teacher's side of this so I can get closer to figuring out how to help her at least begin to pull it together."

Her last name was included in the title, so her common given name (not Pinky) shouldn't have been an issue (say, maybe he got the wrong Pinky) even though I forgot to sign it.

His response, a few days later, was thus:

Pinky has an A+ in Science. 113%

Kane

What. Now, would I love it to be true? Heck, yeah! Is it? Not a chance. Really, there's just no way. Supposing that he failed to enter the data completely since last November, which is already pretty sad, she still says she has tried but can't keep up. A kid with 113% would have been scandalized to think she had been handed an F-!

And for dessert, I just carefully crafted an e-mail to the principal and sent it using the e-mail address given on the school's web site and...

It just got sent back.

I'm getting plenty fed up with this. It's not over. I need information not some snotty lil science teacher feeding me rubbish to shut me up. No, it is not over.

But you can rest assured I'll be as polite as ever may be, oh yes. I may have raging AS traits but I've learned a lot in the last few years about how to handle difficult people.

Now to find that principal's real e-mail.

My response to the teacher would be "wow. I guess I was alarmed over inaccurate information. I am SO pleased to hear that she is making a perfect grade! If there is anything I ever need to be informed of in the future, please let me know." signed my full name and Mother of Her full name. Then when the grades come out I'd be raising freaking hell over anything less than a great grade, and informing everyone on the chain of command and higher how you TRIED to help your daughter but was not given a chance. Then she needs a content mastery aide or some sort of contact at the school which will help her attend to these organizational issues.

Write the principal a letter and hand walk it into the office and have a secretary sign in receipt of it. Make sure it has both of your names on it, keep a copy, and express in your letter your concern over your daughter's struggles and your frustration with the school in getting some help. Do not let the assessment delay her getting what she needs-they should be able to put together some sort of goals and supports without the assessment completed.

I was contemplating doing just what you said when I got another e-mail this morning from the teacher, apologizing for the grade mix-up and saying that she hardly does any work and that she can come in before school to copy down the daily news. I have mixed feelings about all this...

Good - he caught the error, explained his view of the problem, and told us what time of day she could come in for assistance, and their school doesn't start until 8:55 most days so it's doable. And though I still wonder what's up with the principal's e-mail, at least it didn't work on a day when I could have embarrassed myself...

Bad - the teacher is a flake, he's been a flake all the time she's been in his class. His syllabus has 3 different phone extensions for him and I think all of them are wrong. He left us thinking he was giving her an A for a full day before he caught it, but these things happen... It's a pain to think she has to go in early every day to do a task just because he can't spare a couple more minutes of class time... she's not the only student who has complained of not being able to get it all written down in the time he gives. Too many teachers seem to take the approach that if most of the students manage what is asked of them, they aren't asking too much. Tell that to the people burning themselves out working 60+ hours a week. And it is absolutely rubbish to not let them take a quiz based upon a piece of daily busy work. I have yet to see what they are going to learn about science copying down news stories and answering questions on them. That's the cheapest approach to education, copy it out, read it, answer questions. It isn't teaching. You can learn that way by yourself. It's pure busy work and it irritates me. But of course, I don't want her to fail the course either...

Well, I'm still frustrated with the school's love of paperwork, but at least we've found out when Mr Science is around...

she sounds like a twin to my 14 yr old son =) he is in 8th, and since starting at his school last year, we've had similar problems. last week i had an IEP mtg where they gave him an asd diagnosis. unfortunately, i came away from the mtg unconvinced the meager accommodations are going to do much.

N uses a planner, too, one supplied by his school. each day he is suppose to write his assignments in it and get each teacher to sign it. most days it doesnt get signed, and/or he forgets to bring it home. this is the main way they want him to get organized. it isnt working.

you may want to consider asking for an emergency IEP mtg, and see if you can get some accommodations in place now. depends how long before you think they will be done with the reassessment. if your daughter has fine motor issues, expecting her to copy down news reports by hand is unrealistic. see if they can provide her with a copy of the reports, or a computer if she is a proficient typist. she should be able to get extended time to finish assignments also, or reduced homework.

i would also address the issue of not being allowed to take the quiz with the teacher, and principal if necessary. this isnt an IEP issue really, but i dont see how a teacher can tell a student if they fail to do one assignment, they cant do another one. that is just setting them up for failure. it also ensures that they wont learn the material.

i understand exactly what you mean about the lying about work, and trying to defend her free time. my son did homework for 4 hours last night. i know how i feel after a full day and having to do hours more of work, i might lie about it too.