can't wait until she's four

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but then there will be more issues to deal with

She's at the age where I think she should be more capable but isn't and I get frustrated.

She's asking "what is it?" to everything whether it's well known to her or not. She'll hold the cup in her hands and say "what is it?" when she clearly knows it's a cup. That's just an example.

She tears everything apart - anything paper or tear-able. Anything with a label, she has to take it off.

Can't give her chocolate. I think she might be allergic. She has a rough night when we give it to her after around 2.

We'll ask her something like, "what do you want for lunch" and she'll repeat it back instead of answering.

When she asks what something is and we tell her, she'll say "no! It's..." the antithesis or opposite of what it really is. "Is it a cup?" "no, it's a bowl" "No, it's not a bowl. It's a cup" again, just an example - she didn't say that specifically.

But she's going potty more regularly.

Sounds just like a 3 year old!

Every phase comes with the things that are trying, and the things that are adorable. I do wish I had a time machine and could go back and visit some of those earlier times .... just visit, not stay.

Lol, yes it is a relief when they grow out of certain things, but that always means they've also outgrown something you will miss.

So the perspective is ... enjoy it all while you can. Take the annoying with the good. It will change fast enough.

My son is two and I am looking forward to what you describe at three. At three I will look forward to four, at four it will be five but I will always look back fondly on infancy.

yup. gimme 8 months back any day.

i wish my son had have been that easy when he was 3.

She's playing with words. I know, I know... it can be annoying. But this is how they learn. Maybe she's doing a cause-and-effect experiment: "If I ask Mommy what this is, what will she say? I know it's a cup, but does SHE know it's a cup? Will she say it's a cup every time, or just sometimes? What happens if I insist it's a bowl?"

My little sister used to ask repetitive questions before she got the hang of conversations. She could hold a reasonable conversation by the age of four--much earlier than I learned.

Regarding chocolate: It could just be that she's sensitive to caffeine. A three year old is tiny anyway, compared to an adult; so if she has chocolate, it keeps her up all night... makes sense to me.

I have three years to wait till I have to deal with all this.

My son went through the same stage of asking "what is it?" to everything when he was three. He's now 3 and a half and although only 6 months have passed, he rarely does this anymore. He used to follow up with a similar line of questioning. For example -
he'd say "what's this?" (a cucumber)
then he'd say: "it's a yellow cucumber . . . no", "it's a purple cucumber....no", etc, then finally "it's a green cucumber....yeeeeees!"

My son also often responds to a question by repeating the question. Sometimes he does answer questions with an appropriate answer without hesitation, but at other times he'll repeat the question several times until it appears that he's processed the question and then answers.

another thing, she whines very loudly in the wee hours of the morning. When I'm in bed and it wakes me up, I keep thinking she's doing it just to squak.

Thanks everyone for your input. I just can't wait until she's old enough to be more interactive. y'know?

and now she's having an extreme anxiety attack because she had to ride in the Soul rather than the Rio.

repeating what you say back sounds like simply a bit of echolalia. could be that it helps her process the question, or maybe she doesnt know what answer to give. if you havent tried this yet, instead of asking her what she wants and expecting her to formulate an answer on her own, try asking her if she wants one specific item, or give a choice between two. "do you want a peanut butter sandwich?" or "do you want a hamburger or hot dog for lunch?" my son often cant tell me what he wants if i ask an open ended question, but if i run through the list of options, he can easily tell me yes or no to each item.

i remember 3. i remember the dreaded thump-thump-thump of a brand new roll of toilet paper or paper towels coming down the stairs. my son did more than just line up toys, he unrolled tp or paper towels constantly all over the house in lines. we couldnt keep tp out in the bathroom, it had to be inside a childproof cabinet. it was frustrating at the time, not to mention expensive, but its a very fond memory now. i had a good chuckle a couple weeks ago when he got ahold of a roll of paper towels and rolled them out for the first time in about a year.

i know the questions get tiring, i get them all the time now from my 4 and 7 yr olds. i wish my asd son at 3 had been able to ask questions. he simply didnt, in fact he didnt talk much at all. its really hard when we expect them to be ahead of where they are. one day tho, she will probably surprise you with something you didnt know she knew, or a behavior you werent expecting yet. their development often comes in bursts.

she seems to be out of the repeating of questions but still hanging on to the stating the opposites of things that we tell her - this occurs when she's upset at something like she's not getting her way.

Also, this is curious. She's used to the DVD player's power button glowing red but when it's on, it's blue. She has a major anxiety attack when it's blue.

I recently discovered even four years olds do this sort of thing. One of my old friends has a four year old and he asks stupid questions like "Why does he wake up?" about my son and I said back "Why do you wake up?" and he was asking me what this is or that is when he show me his cars or an item. He also asked me why does my son eat and I asked him does he eat and my friend kept laughing at my questions. Then I realized 'wait a minute, this is normal behavior, four year olds do it too.'

I guess every child is different and not all kids are going to be doing it at age three and then stop all of a sudden when they turn four and I am sure some stop at their own pace.

It's good your daughter finally got out of that phase and I bet you are so happy about it.