Parents of Auties, Im curious?
Maddy, The Autistic Princess, has had two imaginary friends for about eight or nine months now. They are named Jessa and Birthday. She talks to them and answers for them. Jessa is obviously her favorite because she takes her to school with her and she "drops" Birthday off in some bushes on the way to school and tells her to go to her own school. Also she tends to get angry with Birthday a lot. I was thinking this may be something that is just unique to her so I thought Id ask if anyone else has an Autie who has imaginary friends like this. I did see a little documentary on a little girl, the youngest person to be diagnosed with Schizophrenia, who had several imaginary friends and they had names like "Blue Girl" ect. I certainly dont think Maddy has Schizophrenia but I know there are some similarities which is why some people with Autism, in the past, have been misdiagnosed. She is rarely ever violent and does not have any type of hallucinations ect. So....sorry to go there with the Schizophrenia thing but when I hear her talking to her imaginary friends it reminds me of that documentary.
Like I said, I was just wondering if anyone elses kiddos do this? Im not at all worried about it, I think its cute actually, Im only curious .
My son (9) has tons of imaginary "pets" - usually based on video games he likes to play. I think they keep him from being lonely and he can continue the game in his head when he can't play it. He's a little old to continue to have imaginary friends, but other than that, I have no concerns about them.
my autie has never had imaginary friends, none of my kids have.
i think the girl you are talking about is Jani Schofield, i watched a documentary on her too and read some articles and her parents' website. quite an extraordinary and sad case.
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Neurotypically confused.
partner to: D - 40 yrs med dx classic autism
mother to 3 sons:
K - 6 yrs med/school dx classic autism
C - 8 yrs NT
N - 15 yrs school dx AS
I had a huge imaginary life as a child, with whole worlds populated with people and talking animals - this is common enough to have a name, a "paracosm." I was never diagnosed, but was/am probably Aspergers.
I love this essay about imaginary friends; it isn't about the psychology persay, it's a personal experience http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2002/0 ... act_gopnik
My daughter never played with dolls (briefly at 3) and used her stuffed animals as play mates. They would get into crazy, long adventures.
At 8, we took a long plane trip for a move. She begged to take "Pinky" a 3 foot stuffed animal on the plane with her, because this was her "husband." (They had a child together, which was a rooster.) Looking back, I wish we had left the backpack full of toys behind, and taken Pinky as a "carry on." I offered to buy her a smaller Pinky, but she wouldn't have it.
She's 18, and hasn't parted with any of her stuffed animals, but is otherwise, doing fine!
I wouldn't worry at all about it, just enjoy it long as it lasts.
My daughter has had an imaginary friend named Dale for as long as I can remember. Dale is neither male nor female, sometimes goes to school with her, she talks to Dale often and Dale talks to her often, sometimes even at inopportune times (like " be quiet Dale, I am trying to go to sleep!")
I don't know the why/how/who Dale is, Dale has just been with us since my daughter started to become verbal and could tell me about Dale. That's about 5 years now and Dale is a constant for us. Dale gets chastised by my daughter a lot and also gets bossed around, but also gets a lot of focused and loving chatter. I guess it just seems normal now and I never really consider it anything but.
I used to do that. My imaginary friends-- at least, the "official" kind (that resemble what you describe)-- aren't close to me anymore. I specifically do not say "I don't have imaginary friends" because... well, first of all, I arguably still do, but more importantly, I didn't "get rid" of them. We just stopped hanging out. Their world still intersects with mine (though I pay more attention to many other worlds, also not the one my body resides in, and I haven't specifically seen my friends that I talked to and played with in quite some time).
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I'm using a non-verbal right now. I wish you could see it. --dyingofpoetry
NOT A DOCTOR
My autie daughter used to have an imaginary friend when she was about 7 (or 6 or 8, I can't remember exactly). When the imaginary friend vanished, I think I missed her more than she did. The imaginary friend used to ride in the car with us and needed to be buckled in and given drinks from the sippy cup. When she disappeared, I asked after her and my daughter just looked at me oddly like I'd imagined the whole thing.
My son used to have an imaginary brother named Applegate. These day he frequently plays that there are lots of different "hims" all with different names, and assigns them to do his chores. I think it's perfectly normal play.
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Sharing the spectrum with my awesome daughter.
My daughter doesn't have imaginary friends as such; what she does is, she uses her dolls and other toys to re-enact scenes from her currently-favorite movie. Lately, she's been mounting any action figures she can find on the backs of all her toy horses (and anything that can pass for one), and using her brother's foam blocks to build castle walls, in order to re-enact the Battle of Helm's Deep from LOTR: The Two Towers.
She's also fond of reciting dialog from The Incredibles (specifically, the scene where they're flying in the RV attached to the rocket/glider) when she gets bored in the car.
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Sodium is a metal that reacts explosively when exposed to water. Chlorine is a gas that'll kill you dead in moments. Together they make my fries taste good.
Thanks for all your input. I was just wondering if other kids with Autism did this. I know that many typical kids have imaginary friends but it typically stems from wanting playmates or brothers and sisters where as my daughter is not all that interested in other kids. Also, like my NT older daughter, typical kids may talk to their imaginary friends but when they answer its only the child that can hear them. Maddy will answer for her friends. This is the conversation she had the other day as an example: "Jessa, did you waked up?"..... "Maddy, you waked me up"...."Oh, I waked you up, Im sorry"...."Yeah, you waked me up". Also some days Jessa and Birthday are completely absent and not spoken of.
Like I said....Im NOT worried, I was just curious if other Auties did this !
Deconblues....thats awesome, I love it ! !
Azurecrayon, yes that is the little girl I was talking about. Im actually very interested in mental illness in children as I have a son (now twenty four) who had very early Bi Polar disorder (also we believe Asperger's) and I have an older daughter (eighteen) who has Asperger's and is currently being assessed after having a serious breakdown this past summer (fortunately she is with my parents and being very well taken care of....its a major relief and Im very thankful). My X husband has a lot of mental illness in his family. My two younger kids have Autism only (different Father). I am diagnosed with Asperger's and my husband is a free range Aspie....or as I call him, a halfspie ! People need to be better educated about mental illness in children. They have made a lot of progress (still needs to be more) in educating the public about Autism but mental illness is still very misunderstood and people are very frightened by it. My son would probably be in a far better place than he is now if more help and education was available for children with mental illnesses.
Hi Lilolme,
My 5 yr old son who is somewhere on the spectrum, has an imaginary friend named Greenan. Sometimes he says that Greenan is his son. LOL! Anyway, he does the same thing Maddie does. Talks to him and tells him things (sometimes I think it is things he is trying to process or things that we have said to him)
He has also recently really begun to interact with his stuffed animals. If I want him to do something, sometimes if I pretend like I am one of the stuffed animals talking, he will do it more easily for the animal than for me! Ha!
My son is an only child----he doesn't really ever ask about having siblings, and he doesn't really play with other kids at all. I think maybe the stuffed animals and the imaginary friends are "safe" as they don't talk back. Just a thought!
Angelbear, thats a good theory that imaginary friends are safer and are understood as our kids are in control of what they do and say.
I know as an Aspie that I had and still do have a very rich imagination full of characters that I have created in my head so I assume she does this for the same reason I do. My 8 year old Aspie is the same way, he calls it playing in his head. He acts out his fantasies complete with sound effects and other people talking. He likes war and weaponry, airplanes, Star Wars, ect. There are typically lots of bombs exploding and jet noises .
hmmm the fact that several of those with imaginary friends are only children make me wonder if thats part of it.
my autie has an NT brother that is 2 yrs older than him and is his best friend. he has always had someone to play with, and while he has never played with non-family children, he does play with his brother like typical children do. they have always shared everything, including a bedroom altho my autie sleeps with us at night still. except for school time, they are together and playing together 80% of their waking time. i suppose he has never needed an imaginary friend.
now im curious, do those with the imaginary friends have a close sibling relationship like this? and do those with the close sibling relationship have imaginary friends?
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Neurotypically confused.
partner to: D - 40 yrs med dx classic autism
mother to 3 sons:
K - 6 yrs med/school dx classic autism
C - 8 yrs NT
N - 15 yrs school dx AS
Hi Azure-
The OP, Lilolme's daughter does have a sibling. There could possibly be a connection. I am with Willaful, it makes me very sad that my son does not have a sibling. I did not get married until I was 39, and had my son at 40. I tried for a couple of years after but had 2 miscarriages. This has been a source of much sadness and grief for me, but I am now 45 (almost 46) and I am finally starting to come out of it. I try to stay as positive as I can. We even completed all of the paperwork and got approved to adopt through the state, but they said with our ages, the chances of us getting a newborn or child under the age of 8 were slim to none. After much soul searching and prayer, I just did not feel at peace with bringing an outside child who more than likely has some problems into the home with our son. So I guess in essence, maybe God knows what is best, and what we can handle. I still have an open heart to life, but some things are just out of our control, and we have to go on and do the best we can-----
You know the funny thing is though, I do have a niece and nephew (that do not live very close) but when we do see them a couple times a year, my son does interact with them. It seems that he "knows" that they are family. Also, I felt a spark of hope for my son yesterday. We were at a play gym, and a little boy who was very outgoing kept trying to play with my son. My son did try to get out of it, but the boy would not give up. After a while, my son was sort of playing with him. I was so happy, I wanted to hire the kid to come home with us!!