Frustrated...argh!

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I've posted here almost a year...I have AS myself and all 3 of my kids have ADHD, my middle child (13 yrs old) is undergoing evaluation and probably has AS as well. She has a lot of sensory issues like I do and I'm tolerant of them but my husband is not, and this morning she misplaced one of her shoes and had to wear another pair. She wanted to go to school with mis-matched shoes and there I was trying to explain the social implications to her and my husband starts screaming at her (and then at me!)...all he could seem to "get" was that she was late. She started screaming at him back and I got completely sensory overloaded and had to step back. Argh. I feel useless. He threatened her with loss of computer access and she caved in and wore the other pair of shoes but now if she has problems in school he's going to have a cow.

Ugh. I wish I could be a better advocate. It sucks.

~Kate

That really sucks. Can you maybe write your husband a letter or email? Sometimes when I am too overwhelmed to communicate effectively verbally, I find that I can use textual communication to do the job.

I agree in regards to writing down your feelings.
I have AS and three of our four sons are on the spectrum.
Sometimes my husband hasn't been as understanding or patient "in the moment", but I find that the more I explain during times of calm/no conflict/low stress the more he understands. With our 15 year old son's school we have had to work to get him resources and accommodations. My husband has begun reading more in order to be able to help advocate for our son and I am impressed with how much his understanding has grown in a fairly short period of time. Now he is sometimes pointing out traits and explaining behavior to me and he also seems more understanding of my behavior and needs.
I hope your situation starts to change for the better also.

I agree totally write down your thoughts to give to your husband. I can't get words out when I'm met with intensity or something I really don't understand that someone did. Sometimes it has taken me several days to get my feelings and words down sufficiently to show the other person. It does help.