Daughters with Aspergers?

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Are there any parents here that have one or more daughters with Aspergers? If so, could you describe your daughter's treats?

My daughter will be seeing a psychiatrist soon because she's suffering from anxiety. She has been tested 16 months ago (WISCIII) and her processing speed is significantly lower than her (high) verbal and performal IQ (almost 25 points difference!). That explained some problems at school (and her depressed feelings), and she changed school so processing speed would not be a problem anymore while she could still work on her own level.

It works, though now we see that she chooses to do the same almost all of the time. When we show alternatives to her, she takes it on, but when she has to pick herself, she always does the same one or two things. Besides that, she doesn't tell her teacher what she knows (already). When her teacher serves her a lesson of things she already knows, even very well, she doesn't say it. Her teacher wants her to be more communicative, but this is my daugther: she doesn't communicate things she already knows and she's often too shy to ask for explaination about things she doesn't know.

But school is better than before the switch. What bothers me more now is that her anxiety attacks keep going on. She probably has had them all her life, but it is obvious for me since I noticed her having nightmares. And that was before she could speak well enough to tell. My mother told me I had nightmares too when I was only a baby, so I more or less thought it to be annoying for her, but something she would overcome.

When she was about three years old it was obvious that she had nightmares and couldn't wake up to get out of her bad dreams. I thought that to be very scary, but I thought she would have it, because my ex and I were in the middle of a divorce which is probably scary for a child anyhow.

Later her anxiety attacks went up and down. She's never been without longer than a couple of days and recently (she's eight years old now) I noticed that they are much graver when she is tired, which is about every night. I found out she is anticipating on her fears. She's scared to go around a corner (for instance) because she may dream at night about that corner with scary elements added to it like monsters. The first day of our summer holiday she had three anxiety attacks and in one of the attacks she went 'out' or 'off' (I don't know what would be the better word in English).

Since she has some other autistic treats I wonder if this kind of anxiety has got to do with Aspergers?

Hi, I have an eleven year old daughter with AS who has major problems with anxiety. There are fewer girls with AS so I have not met many other parents dealing with this but I think it is fair to say that anxiety is a very common problem. Things I have found helpful - the idea of an anxiety thermometer, helping her to recognise the signs in herself and work out managing strategies. There is a good book for children called "what to do when my autism gets to big" can't remember the author. Social stories (Carol Grey) are also useful for working through situations you know are going to cause anxiety in advance. Tony Attwood has recently published a work book on managing anxiety (exploring Feelings - cognitive behaviour therapy to manage anxiety). I am hoping to use this with my daughter. Hope this is of some help. also beware of the tendancy for girls to "bottle up" thier anxieties at school and then "blow up" at home. This often masks the problem to the school who can think they are coping fine.

if you look further down in this section, there's a post i started entitled: aspergers traits in girls. my 7 year old daughter is going for an eval at the beginning of August......the post i started really got some wonderful responses~ hope it helps

Thanks both. I'm sorry I missed the other thread. I'm going to look for it now.

BTW, I read about Carol Grey. I must look into that.

I have a 14 year old daughter diagnosed with asperger's two years ago. She suffers from anxiety as well and is on two meds for it. One she takes daily and the other as needed. She is very anxious during storms of any kind.

She was also diagnosed with ADHD and OCD and is on meds for these too.

We are on several forums regarding Asperger's and learn new things everyday about what we are dealing with. Unfortunately our school has been very reluctant to help. It is a private school and there is really no recourse. Also, this is our only alternative as we have tried all of the area schools even moving once to be in another school district.

I don't think my daughter has OCD. Also not ADHD. Possible ADD.

I read a couple of articles about girls and Aspergers online. One on Tony Attwood's website and this one (PDF:)http://aspires-relationships.com/Asperger_Syndrome_Grows_Up.pdf, which has some interesting parts about girls.

Hi there,

I have a DD with Asperger's, she's five. Anxiety is a big part of her "issues" too, she has a strong need to control. We work with a psychologist who specializes in helping children on the spectrum. She told me that she believes anxiety is at the root of almost all problems that come with AS. With my DD they work on flexibility and also frustration tolerance. It has helped my DD a lot. She says that medication may become necessary in the future (it would most likely be an anti-depressant like Prozac or Zoloft). We are definitely not there yet, but I would not rule it out. I think, if I understand our psychologist correctly, anxiety relates to AS in that the world does not make sense to our kids. It can be overwhelming, whether due to sensory overload, or not understanding social situations, etc. They are constantly having to try harder and work harder to make sense of things. This leads to the anxiety.

Also, my DD had the IQ split too. Hers was like 30 points or more difference between her verbal (which was very high) and performance (on the low end of the normal range). I think I have read this is pretty typical of children with AS, although all are so different.

My DD attends a social skills group and there are 4 other girls with AS and they are all around the same age. This is considered a "high functioning" group. Even with all girls, all having AS, all considered high functioning, there are a lot of differences. Some have small motor issues, some have attention issues, one is really shy, the others are really outgoing and in your face (including my DD, very social, but sometimes inappropriate). I guess what I am trying to say is that there are so many twists to the spectrum and different ways it can present in each child. They are all very unique!

One book I thought had some good insights into girls with AS is called "Pretending to be Normal", I believe the author is Liane Willey. I got mine on Amazon. When I first started reading about AS so much did not really seem to "fit" with my DD. This book was the first one that I recognized some of her in.

Best of luck to you and your DD.

Katie

Yesterday I watched old (well, four years old) pictures with my daughter. I remember most of the occasions and I also remember that I thought she had fun. But when watching the pictures I can see she's stressed or at least tense. I have seen that before. Yesterday we talked about the occasions on the pictures and I asked her if she was afraid of things then too. She could tell me several fears she had, watching te pictures. I felt bad. Honestly, I didn't realize it was that bad.

Also, I'm bad at recognizing emotions on peoples faces. Obvious extreme emotions I usually get, but when someone is pretending (like my daughter: pretending to like it, pretending to not be afraid) I can't see what is meant. Now I wonder if I have missed my daughter's stress.

it's so hard to not beat yourself up over what you've missed...i've done plenty of that myself.....but i'll give you the same advice i was given~ don't beat yourself up, you're the only you that you've got.and where would your daughter be without your wonderful support ?

You're right. But sometimes I ask myself if I'm looking for evidence for things I think or the other way around. My daughter suffers from anxiety. That's a fact. I hope the psychiatrist can shed some light on where the anxiety comes from.

Looking at the pictures I think it's just everyday life and also child-friendly events that causes anxiety too. But at home it's all about monsters and nightmares. I can't connect those two. Maybe I shouldn't look for a connection at all and see both types of anxiety as seperate forms in my daughter's life. There is a difference. In everyday life anxiety she is brave and copes with it in a way that it is hard to see any anxiety. The monsters and nightmares cause anxiety attacks that paralyse my daughter.

Could the monsters & nightmares be suppressed anxiety from everyday life? Like the 'bottle up' and 'blow up' ksmum talks about.

don't really know....i struggled for awhile with whether or not what i was seeing was actually Aspergers, or just my mind playing tricks with me....