The 24 yr old : how to get him 'here'

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Hi All,


It's been a while since I've been here . ..
- His mom, my angel, is with me now
- I've since been dianosed with brain cancer - just one of many challangs He has given me..
- My angel could have left me...she chose this to be our fight for our future....

Her son ( I sort of consider him my 'son' too) has slowly been 'confiding' in me . .
- he seems like he'd like to 'change' or become aware of different view points , meet people like him.

I've shown him this website & forums .he give some 'gee whiz' reponse..then goes back and gets lost in computer games.

Other than 'show' him, what else can I do to raise his interest ?
- just come back here with him more and more ?
- maybe try to find a post that may be appealing to him ?

(please pardon misspell and bad typing...)

Thank you to all

What a great attitude - while dealing with the personal challenge of brain cancer, thinking of how you can help others. I think this is one of the best ways to keep perspective!

What has worked for me is.... Reading the posts to myself with the person nearby and when I know something would interest them, read it to them. (kind of like, Oh my gosh, check this out.........)Then, if there's a lot, I will say... Come here - you read it, I need to go do (whatever).

If t is something that is a fit for them, they will take it from there. If not, they wont.

The question is does he really want to change, or is he just saying that because that's what he thinks he wants you to hear. Either way, I hope that things work for all of you in the future.

I think CockneyRebel has a good point.

That being said - there are threads here on special interests. You might want to find out if there's a thread on whatever video game he's playing, or any of his other obsessions. I would show him where they are and leave it at that.

The son come by once a few weeks ( he lives abouit 40 miles away),

With the thought of finding something of interest (for him here on WP), I've inquired of other things he may like , ,like "did ever wanna do..." (art type paint, vetegatble garden, wood wor, . .no, I don't offerall in one question...more liie , as before, 'did ya ever wanna...')
sees likie evry answer avoids the question ; the response is about his games and 'blog' about the games.

I guess , , I trying to find out:
- does he want i-net friends
- does he want real people friends
- does he want a girl friend
answers to the questions are, again, about games and this rating system / blog thing . . .
. . .I ask about that too . . his answers are vague...

I've never ask him if he like his life...
. . I ask "How ya doing"
. . . ."same as always"
. . . . . . ."what would you like to have differnt '
. . . . . . . . .response , again, seems to go back to computer games...

Oh wel . . .babby steps

OK, went tothe games thread (forum?)

Told him" I have a neat forum on WrongPlanet about gaes, would you like to see"

"Definetly not" was his reply . ..


OK fine, I think to my self . . .


'm sorry...I'm about ready togive up . .for now

. .between the Chemo-Radio therapy for my brain cancer and recovery from the house fire of a week ago...I have enough . . .

and I'm sorry to vent..his mom pissed me off....
. .'we' (him too . .her & I plan) were going to go out for dinneer
. . . .he doesn't want to..so, we're not . . .

. . . . .BS !

Sorry to hear that you have cancer. I hope your treatment has positive results and is tolerable. I'm curious, what were your symptoms?

Concerning the 24 year old, have you ever tried logging on to these games or game forums and communicating with him that way? Many are ten times more articulate through text.

It's also possible he has something other than AS. There are a few things which can manifest in a similar manner

Chronos,

Thank you for the reply . . .

My therapy (Chemo & Radio) are quite tolerable...a small price to pay for continued life . . .

I've tried to get a feel for 'what kind of games' he likes... He'drather I sit and wactch and learn . . .I'm sorry, I do not 'sit' well . . .I need to be active (clean house, garndening, working on trucks, cars)...yes, I can sit for 15 or 20 minutes,,,,but not hours and hours...


At his game place, refuge if you will, a person walked over and introduced him self to his mom and me ( son was at rest room). Guy sounded really nice: nice complements about son; man is retired police and said he watches out ofr him. (yes, there are creeps & bums at his 'refuge'....)
Soooooo, I 'informed' son of this person & said next time he stops bye, please say "Hi", . . .
. . .sons response to mom was "trying to get ride of me ? Don't love me ?"
. . .I have no idea what moms reply was (although I've asked her, to make me feel like part of family, they speak in forigen tougue; both can speak engilsh very well) ...I hoped it was"We still love you,,,you ay your lonely, here's a chance to have more friends"

ummm, I gussed I diverged...
. .I'm still not sure 'waht abut games' (in the WP forum) would be interesting to him.
. . .but I will 'surf' the forum and just select some stuff and use his response to help me understand.


Oh, the business of helping him . . .it is also about helping her,,,his mom, My Angel . . .
I KNOW she is worried abut his future...she knows there will be time she's not around to 'caretake' when something happens in his world ( yes, he can make food, eat, do laundry, etc...but 'busines stuff' {paying bills, resolving bill isuues} seems to be either'too much' or he just doesn't care...maybe because she's always done it)

Thank You for your time and assistance