accidentally on purpose

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Are any of the members in this predicament? Your son/daughter comes home from school saying that they were hit or kicked. So, the faculty meets with all the kids and says to you, "I think that your son is missreading his peers. The boys were simply jogging and kicking and accidentally kicked your son." AND this is after a history of your kid having problems with bullying. Am I the F'n nut here? Should I suggest that my son accidentally start crowning his peers? What do the WP parents think?

Well, this is what the anti-bullying policy has done: made schools afraid of bullying allegations. And we thought that kids would be the ones who would get scared...stupid f*****g parents..HAHAHAHAHAHA

Of course, what's not so funny is that now bullying will get worse and worse because nobody will want to do anything. So your kid will suffer, because gone are the days where you could just stand up to the bully and punch back-you get written up for that now. When I was in school, that's how it was (not too long ago, mind you) but you could still get away with fighting it out in some instances. In the old old days, if you stood up to the bully, you might get beat up, but he would respect you after that. That's not true anymore. So now kids have to suffer because they can't fight back, and THAT is BS.

You are right that this is absurd. When you contacted school, was it in writing? Whether or not it was, make sure you follow up in writing, because you will need the paper trail. Send a letter that goes over the initial concern (about your son being kicked), the "conclusion" that your son is supposedly "misreading" his peers and was "accidentally" kicked, and your objection to it. State that whether your son was "accidentally" kicked or intentionally kicked, he was kicked, and the injuries he has sustained and could sustain in the future are not mitigated by the "accidental" nature of their infliction. Furthermore, that you expect the supervision during such activities to be adequate so that kicking would not occur, whether or not there was an intention to strike another child. Tell them that while your child is in their care, they are in loco parentis, and you expect them to protect him from all injuries, and he is being injured, both physically and emotionally, by these occurrences.

I would not tell my child to start crowning his peers - he will get caught, his classmates will not support him, and he will be the one in trouble. Tell him to try to stay physically more distant from the other kids during these activities; to tell the adult in charge immediately when these events occur, and you need to bring each event to the school's attention, in writing. Insist on a meeting with the school and insist that they formulate a plan to deal with these issues.

Caution: Medium Powered Venting Warning For This General Area

When I was in grade 9 , a group of delinquents through my pencil case along the ground and it hit the teachers foot.

The oblivious teacher turned around and knowing it was my pencil case (due to my graffiti) started to get angry and ask why I threw my pencil case, I said I didn't throw it, and the people picking on me lied and said I was trying to get them in trouble even tho the teacher blatantly saw them stealing my pencil before hand and she simply laughed.. like a typical oblivious teacher does. And now she's believing the delinquents because unlike myself, they can manipulate there emotions.

I got a detention for being picked on.
I really wish I had my parents for support to go in and talk to the teachers and tell them the real story..
I personally see so many borderline sociopaths lie there way through there delinquent years scott free I want to throw up,

And when someone calls you name's it's not even the name calling really, it's just annoying how bully's make such an effort to go out of there way to single out a specific person for why they are different or just to cause attention because they are jealous (or some type of NT bullying cause).

The bully seems to like feeling authorized to socially control people, but he doesn't realize were not part of his NT alpha male game and people are sick of his pompous face, acting animated with semi-retarded- semi-creatve labels for people.

I was born this way, but bully's were conditioned that way and I dwell on the day I comformed to go in for detention for getting bullied....

Since then I've had a grudge with the school system.. (that and about 1000 other things I experienced first hand that only NT's could 'explain')

i think it does happen that some things are misread. whether thats because the child is overly dramatic, they dont understand others' actions or words, or because the child is intentionally misreading cues, it can be hard to tell.

my oldest son had an incident in December that was similar. he came home upset, and when i asked him he said it was because someone bullied him and called him names. after discussing it more, i found out someone had bumped him in the hallway, he said a smart alec remark to the other boy, and the other boy told him to shut up and called him fatty. im not going to claim the other boy was all innocent, but i know my son. i know he is a drama queen, he blows tiny things up into huge events, he has a quick sarcastic wit that gets him into trouble sometimes, and he has sensory and impulse issues such that when someone bumps him or startles him, he has an explosive reaction that is out of proportion to the event. i know these things because i live with him every day.

so i think you have to weigh multiple variables in situations like these, and thats difficult. the school doesnt know your son like you do, and you probably dont know the other kids like the school does. i know, with having 3 sons, sometimes its impossible to really tell who did what. you dont want to accuse someone of lying, but you have to do something. i think jat has great ideas there on how to address it without simply calling the school or other kids liars but still holding them to their responsibility to protect your son.

Tricky. We have had several incidents similar to what Azurecrayon described where one of my sons most certainly did misread the situation.. A bump considered a push, gentle, good natured teasing considered a threat etc. But there is no history of bullying where my sons are concerned, and there is a history of misconstruing social situations. You know your son best. What do your instincts tell you about the situation?

In a recent difficult to unravel situation, my son and the other boy did a mediation with the resource teacher. She was able to uncover misunderstandings and lousy choices on both sides, and then help both boys figure out what to do differently in future. Would the school be willing to set up a similar mediation for your son? Either way I would be strongly expressing to the school that your son is vulnerable to bullying, therefore needs help and supervision in all social situations, and that you expect them to be on alert for any additional negativity towards your son from the students involved in this incident and to provide quick decisive intervention if any occurs.

I will third it being a very tough call...we've had the same issues with my son. We did discover he was being bullied this year, and wasn't just "forgetting" his lunch bag. We've also had issues where he did blame another kid for something that kid didn't do.

Patterns are important. I could believe that someone "accidentally" kicked someone ONCE. Accidents don't happen with regularity, nor do they happen exclusively to one child. I would ask that the incident be documented to ensure that it is a one-time accident and to make sure it isn't part of a larger pattern of behavior. And, frankly, I'd ask what the hell they mean by "jogging and kicking" and why this behavior is regarded as OK?