room space is effecting his mental health

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I have a quick parent teacher meeting due at 4 pm tomorrow. Then Wednesday next week I have a scheduled ssg.(student support group meeting)

I need advice and suggestions, if you have any. I need to talk about all the issues I raised in my "Just me thinking out loud post" plus I now need to add another.

SOME BACK GROUND AS TO WHY I MOVED SCHOOLS
This school that J my 12 year old son attends is much smaller than his previous school and is also more supportive of kids on the spectrum than his previous school. His last school had more than 550 students and barely acknowledged J's dx, they offered no support, they kept telling me my son was "fine", my who was talking about wishing he were dead, and calling the school his prison was "fine"?. I moved him to his current school for the start of grade 4, he is now just started grade 6. His current school have a large number of kids on the spectrum they are supporting, there are approx 250 students in total at the current school. The first year he started here the school applied for funding and then appealed the Education dept decision not to provide him an aide. He was still knocked back, but to compensate, the school have made sure that my son is placed in a classroom with another child who has an aide so that he will benefit from some aide time when the aide can spare it.

Here's the current problem, even though this school is so much better then the previous school, it's still far from ideal for J. There are 5 classrooms, sounds small, but there are at least 50 kids in each room. Each room has several grade levels, ie it could be 3,4,5,6 or prep,1,5,6 or 2,3,4,5 It a multi aged learning program which sounds fantastic, kids learn at their own pace. Younger kids are helped along by their older peers and older peers learn how to support and nurture those younger than them. The first two years, weren't perfect but they were way better than where he'd been. The multi aged learning was working for him, J is below his age group in some areas but it wasn't a big issue because he could just drop back to what the younger kids were learning. I'm still not sure if multi aged learning is the issue.

The issue now is J is now in a different classroom, in an older part of the school. It's the classroom that's the issue. It's a smaller space, it's darker, it's hotter and with 50 kids and up to 3 teachers in the room, it's all to much for him. The aide that helps out in the room stopped to talk to me yesterday. One of the things she said was that she didn't think J was coping with the new room. I spoke with J about it last night. He told me it's not the people, they all seam nice. It's that there are so many of them and the room is old and stuff and he feels like he can't breath sometimes. It gets to noisy and busy and there is no space to escape.

Apparently he cried again yesterday. He did tell me yesterday morning that he didn't want to go to school, but he couldn't tell me why. I sent him any way because, he didn't look sick and I'd just assumed that he wanted to stay home playing a new ps3 game I'd bought him on the weekend. When I dropped him off at school, I could tell by his face that he wasn't happy, I asked him before I left if he was okay, he said "I don't feel right". I hadn't heard him say that in a long time. But I left him there, I had nothing concrete to understand what was going on.

Now I don't know what to do or how to fix it or how to best support, I'm not even sure if this can be fixed. We need help!! !! !! !! Suggestions, advice, anyone please.

I wish there was a better answer, but the issue is real (as you've noted) and may not be something the school can solve. A family from my son's school ended up in a similar predicament and finally decided on homeschooling (with support from the school, written into the IEP) as a result.

By all means, brainstorm with the team and try some creative strategies first, but be prepared that sometimes there are structural issues that simply cannot be solved. And ... I am so very sorry to hear this.

I'm new to the whole IEP thing, and am just starting to navigate it myself - but I wonder if an IEP can allow you to choose the best setting (i.e. physical classroom) for him within the school district (as opposed to within the single school).

There is a boy at my son's school who is non-verbal autistic and attends as an out-of-district student. The school system is allowing him to be out-of-district because this particular setting works for him. (Our school is unique in that there are only 3 grade levels in the building.)

I am also so sorry to hear this. You've worked so hard to get him into a good environment, and now this.

Would having regular breaks away from the classroom, or a quiet area where he can take his work in the hallway or another room reduce his stress enough for him to feel OK?

Thanks guys for responding.

This one is a really tough one. The regular break idea may work, only he doesn't have his own aide to really allow this. I suggested to him that perhaps he could work at one of the tables just outside his classroom, but he was resistant to this idea. I think part of the reasons he was resistant is because, he doesn't like drawing uninvited attention to himself, and doing that would really single him out. 2, he has discovered this year that most of the kids actually like him and are really keen to get to know him. The previous two years at this school, he spent just with his best friend who is also on the spectrum, but they've since had a bit of a drift apart and now the other kids can get near him, they are fascinated by his knowledge of games, the way he speaks, the games he makes up, he's kinda become Mr popularity. He also uses one or two kids in the class room to help him try and understand what he's meant to do.

I emailed the head of our local Autism Outreach team yesterday. This person is due to go into J's school today to meet and observe J and two other kids. His job is to help support the school and parents support the child, he also helps with preparation and transition to high school.
I didn't want to tell J that he was coming out, but I had to. It's Wednesday and J doesn't go to normal school on Wednesday, so he isn't happy. He asked me why this man Chris was coming, so I told him he wanted to meet him and see for himself how J's classroom worked and then he would offer some advice to the school how they could best help him to make school a little easier for J to cope with. J's response "Well that's a waste of time, I don't like showing anyone how unhappy I really am, because I don't want anyone else to feel as unhappy as me, so he will see nothing".
If I get any feed back from today I will let you all know, but keep the ideas coming please.

Sorry it's taken so long to get back to you all. The outreach worker went out to the school and so far the only thing I've heard is, considering all he has to deal with, with the classroom the way it is he is doing well. Hmmmm frustrating!! !! !!
I had my quick parent teacher meeting on the Wednesday, and I left the meeting wanting to smack his new teacher. I was so frustrated by her "Ah well there is not much we can do" attitude I resorted to saying to her, "you do know it's not just autism don't you?" then listing off the anxiety disorder ADHD etc etc. I still don't think she got it, she just sat there grinning at me.
I have since calmed down, and reminded myself, J is in a new class, new teachers, different mix of kids, new year level etc etc, the classroom is crap but.... he emotionally could be much much worse than he is now. This isn't to say that I will let this slide, I will keep a very very close eye on it all. Some changes and accommodations will definitely have to take place, because J told me again on Thursday that he was crying again, this time in the yard.
I asked J on Thursday morning how he was really feeling at school now, I used my hands as a gauge with a foot of space in between. One hand was how he was feeling at his old school, the other hand was how he was feeling last year. Last years teacher he loved (I personally thought she could have done a little more). He placed his hand in the middle then lent it to one side, the side representing his previous school.


(new school with trusted loved teacher))------------------------/------------------(previous school from hell)

^
this is how he feels now

Can they give him a place to escape to?

I have another meeting scheduled with the school this Wednesday.

Chronos- I love all your posts, I find them insightful and very helpful, cheers.

I am hoping that they can offer an escape area/space. I think sometimes, for my son any way, just knowing that someone has listened to him and offered an alternative to something that has/is upsetting for him can make a huge difference.

My diagram didn't post right he said he was emotionally at that mid way mark now, leaning towards how he felt at his old school. That will teach me trying to be creative. lol