Need Some Helpful Tips, If Anyone Has Any To Offer

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Hello and good day to everyone! I am very new to this site and am needing some serious advice. I have a 2 1/2 year old son, that is believed to possibly be on the autism spectrum. My son has been in a program called First Steps for almost a year now and both his therapists and his doctor believes that he may have some sort of sensory issue. He shows a lot of signs of autism, there are many times that I will call his name over and over again only to be completely ignored. He also loves to jump up and down and wave his arms which I have also read is a sign of autism. He also tends to get stuck on a certain toy or object and cries and fusses if I try to take it from him. His therapists come out once or twice a week and while they do a great job with him, it is still not enough to get him to where he needs to be. When I try to sit him down and work with him on a task I have a difficult time keeping his attention and there are many, many times that he just gets downright angry and throws an awful fit. I do not know what to do to help my son learn how to really talk and use words. I try talking to him and repeating words over and over, sometimes he will say a word, but it is never with any consistency. When his therapists told me that he shows many signs of autism I was just devestated and cried off and on about it for awhile, but now I just want to do anything I can to try to help him. I want him to have as normal of a life as possible, if this is indeed what he has. We are waiting to hear from a hospital that will test him for autism, but we have been told that it could be anywhere from four to six months before he could be seen. My son does not have this kind of time, does anyone have any tips or advice that I could try to use to help my son? His therapists have vaguely told me about an herbal tea, but I do not know where to find anything like this. Any help would be greatly appreciated thank you so much!

Welcome to WP!


Let your first goal be a goal of simple discovery: Watch him and learn. Rather than trying to get him to do certain things you even already know he eventually will need to be able to do, first just observe while you or others interact with him without expectation so you can learn how you possibly can next/later engage him more effectively. In other words, first "go in there" with him, wherever he might be, and gain his trust before trying to "draw him out" into a world he cannot yet possibly understand.

He does, don't worry. The fact that you have identifed early on in his development that there is something different about him is good. You and he have all the time in the world to work this out. Change your expectations about his behavior and development then get down on the floor with him and play. Follow his lead, figure out the things that make him feel good and the things that don't.

I used to sing my son's name - do you recall that Who song, Tommy Can You Hear Me? I put my son's name into the tune in place of "Tommy" and sang it to him. The sound of me singing to him would often get his attention when simple repetition of his name had no effect whatsoever.

Thank you both for the replies. I probably should change my expectations from, I try not to put too much on him as it is. I guess I just worry because he can only be in this First Steps Program until he's 3 and then I'm not sure exactly where we will go from there, that is the scary part. He has made some progress even though it is slow. The only other problem I have is that he isn't very interested in playing with me. I have such a hard time getting his attention. I want nothing more than to play cars or trucks or just anything with him, but he would rather be by himself doing his own thing and it just breaks my heart that he doesn't really desire that interaction like my other child does. I think thats why it makes it even harder for me because he doesn't want to play or learn new things. Thank you both for the advice though, all I can do is keep trying, I'm hopeful that he will get better and this wont affect his life drastically.

Instead of looking for him to play with you, try just parallel playing with him (but never moving something he has carefully placed!). That will show him you are interested in his way, not just your way. Interactive play may be frustrating or uninteresting to him.

If he is having trouble communicating, you may have success experimenting with sign language or PECS (a visual system). I haven't used either but many families here have and have had success with it.

As for getting his attention, you probably already know / do this, but just in case: be sure to be in front of him, not just communicating with the back of his head.

This might sound crazy - but I did it with my son when he was about 2. He could pay attention for limited amounts of time... but I couldn't get him to pay attention to what I wanted him to pay attention to. The television always had his attention - so I video taped myself and put my talking to him on TV! The novelty of it worked for awhile - and he thought it was funny.

This does not sound crazy at all! If I had a working video camera I would do this because my son also loves tv and that is the majority of what he wants to do is watch it all day. I had never thought about doing something like that before, but that actually does not sound like a bad idea lol!

There is a lot you can do at home to encourage language growth. Think about how much requesting can be done in a day. He can request favorite toys up on a shelf, a bites of a favorite snack, or even for you to play with him. Choose activities he NEEDS you for...like blowing bubbles, spinning, etc. That works great because he is seeking you out for fun, and learning to request. Work should not seem like "work." Use incidental teaching to use what he is already interested to teach him language.

That is what I have been trying to work on with him and am having a very hard time with. He can say words, but its never anything consistent, he won't point at anything he wants or speak words where I can understand what he wants, he just babbles mainly. I tried sitting him in his high chair today and repeated the word "cup" to him over and over again, I did this because his therapists have told me that I need to find something he really likes and put it just out of his reach, this is supposed to make him have to use his words to get what he wants, but even trying this today took an hour to accomplish only a little bit and he became very frustrated. This is what his therapists and I have been trying to work on is getting him to use his words and sign language to tell us what he wants, that is one of the goals that we are trying to reach with him. There are certain activites that I can do with him that doesn't seem like work, but when it comes to really trying to get him to talk, thats what is a lot of work. He did make some progress today, but I just hate that I have to make him so angry to get him to do some of these things.

wesleysmommy- when the transition takes place between the early on type program your child is currently in and the school system you can ask for a comprehensive educational evaluation from the school system (our child was evaluated and started recieving speech at 3 years old) Once within the school system his services stayed in place from preschool till present with the exception of numerous other services being added later. You can also ask the program your in now if the services he recieves now will continue in the school system (sometimes they do) Dont worry it's gonna be ok One day at a time

Thank you for the information! We talked with his case manager and his therapists for the program he's in awhile back and they said that he could receive therapies in school. If he doesn't approve a whole lot we probably won't send him to school, but just take him there for therapy and one of his therapists said there are many other options out there that we can use to help him if we didn't want to put him into school at age 3, I'm just not sure what all those options are at this point. He also has a huge problem with eating, I'm not sure if anyone else child has a problem with this, but he will only eat certain things and he doesn't like trying new things, he fights me at every turn when I try to introduce something new to him. The other bad thing about the food is that he seems to have a bad reaction to foods that contain tomato sauce such as pizza, ravioli, spaghettios, etc. these foods make him have horrible bowel movements and since we have discovered this it has drastically limited what he eats, he definitely has many problems! I do appreciate everyones input though and I really do just try to take it one day at a time, its about all I can do at this point.

I'm really sorry if I talk too much everyone! There is just so much going on with him and I'm just not sure how to go about helping him, thanks so much for your support and advice!

Your welcome! my son started with the school system in their special ed preschool when he was 3. they focused on all kinds of different issues and it really really helped him.. Not only with different therapies but being around kids too:)

for his sensory issues you can look up online "sensory diet" you should be able to find lots of different things to try out some will help some will not.

learning to talk is an interesting thing because each child learns it on their own time line and in their own way but... the school system will provide speech therapy if that's somthing you want. The thing the speech therapist had us do at home was really just model speech for him.. i think i saw someone else had discribed but maybe on a different thread narrating your day anyway basically if you reach for a cup you say out loud mommy is reaching for a cup, now mommy is filling the cup lol it sounds so so funny but the way kids learn to talk is by hearing speech and then trying to repeat it.. my son was not really even undertstandable untill he was in 1st grade altho he did try. and the fact that your son is repeating things or at least attempting to is a great sign even if it isn't consistant .. it means he wants to talk It just takes time and is a really tough thing to watch day to day and see little result ... ask a speech therapist to show you different things you can do at home they are usually very egar to get you involved

if it's autism there are no cures some parents have seen great improvements with a gluten free/casin free diet (it's very involved but if somthing your willing to try you can google that) other times finding out allergies can show some improvement altho most tests for allergies are not really accurate untill around 5 yrs old somtimes showing false pos or neg.

Just hang in there and take it day by day being the mom you are and enjoying your baby

I would spend a couple day finding out what his biggest reinforcers are. Many reinforcers are sensory based...like squishy toys, cornstarch and water, spinning, piggyback ride, swings, etc. There's some lists online like this
http://autismtrainingsolutions.wordpres ... ast-of-em/

Finding out what he loves the most will be very important.


Next step is to make sure he feels successful. If you try to get him to say "cup" over and over, and he is trying his best, he is going to get frustrated quickly. Talk to your therapists about what level of speech they are accepting. Maybe they are accepting "cu" and rewarding, and you are waiting for "cup." How much are you prompting? If you prompt too much he will get frustrated too. Try 2 prompts, then back up to accepting point. If he isn't solid on pointing, then I would spend some time working on that first. Also, keep a "lesson" like that to a max of 15. Any longer will become frustrating.

As for incidental teaching for verbal expression, maybe when he is jumping up and down, have him pause. Then say "Jump!" and start jumping with him. Get the idea? Use activities he is picked to have him practice requesting.

If you are getting frustrated, take a step back. He is trying his best and so are you. This should be fun, not frustrating. Once he gets the hang of this, it will get better. *hugs*


I would keep focusing on fun activities for relationship building. If he associates you with fun, then he is going to be more likely to want to engage with you. Spend a couple days playing and doing things he likes. If he associates you with work, you will have a cranky kid on your hands!

Thank you so much! All of this is so helpful and makes me feel a bit better about the whole thing. Awhile back when we noticed how much he liked to jump up and down we got him a small trampoline that fits very well in our house and ever since we got that, it has really kickstarted what little he does speak. I have noticed like you have said that the speech therapist does use different prompts, such as when she tries to get him to say "more" if he at least says "mmm" she praises him because she knows he is trying. I am trying to remember all of this when I work with him, when I did the cup thing with him today, I tried getting him to say the word "cup" then "up" and I also tried "juice" or "uice" because he has said something similar to juice, well he has said "uice" before and it was very apparent to me at that time what he wanted because he was standing by the babygate that we have up closing him off from the kitchen and he always goes over there and stands if he wants food or a drink. I definitely also agree that I should probably not work with him for long amounts of time, I can see how frustrating that would get, he needs his own time too, to be able to play by himself and I am trying to really take all this in and do it little by little. Anyways with the cup thing that I did earlier, I was very proud of him because he did try so hard I tried three different times, the first time he said something that resembled the sound of "up" so I let him have a drink and then a couple minutes later I took it away and tried again and this time he tried saying different words, he said the word "dog" so I let him have the cup for at least saying a word and then the third time, before I gave it to him I just kept saying "cup" and he finally said "tup" so I knew that he was really trying to do what I wanted him to, so even if it wasn't the exact word I was still just so proud! I am going to have to get better about not doing these activities for so long though because I don't want to overwhelm him, I know its going to take quite a bit of time.

You are doing your best. You both with get the hang of it. The beginning of it is always the most challenging. Try think of this as an opportunity to get to know your son, and to start building a great relationship.