Was all that real or just an act? (reaction to a bad grade)

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I've been thinking back to a scenario in my childhood, because it got stuck in my mind. It happened when I was in second or third grade. It has to do with how my parents reacted when I got a D in class. And I think I could use a parent's opinion to help me understand it.

One day, my teacher (who I swear had it out for me) gave me a D for a math homework assignment, along with the comment "careless work!". When I came home from school that day (the town I lived in at the time was safe enough for schoolkids to walk by themselves), my mother was already home.
"So son, what grade did you get in school today?"
<mumbling, not giving a clear answer>
"Take out your notebook and show it to me."
"Right now?"
"Are you telling me I can't look?"
<silence>
Then my mother reached over to my backpack, and pulled out my math notebook. She opened it, and saw a giant D and the comment, written in bold red ink; it looked like the teacher pressed down on the pen while writing. She didn't say anything to me, just sat down on the sofa, covered her face with her hands, and started quietly weeping (or maybe pretending?).

She stopped after a few minutes, and just sat there looking listless for the next half-hour, until my father came home. She stayed that way for at least the next hour or so.
"What's wrong, honey? Why are you looking so sad?"
"Look at our son's grade!" <shows him the notebook>
My father didn't say anything either, but an angry look came over his face. He proceeded to give me a spiteful-sounding speech on enforcing a "no TV" rule for the rest of the marking period. He spent the rest of the next few hours looking stern, and slamming things hard, like a coat on the coat rack or a book on the table. (Basically, harmless, unbreakable objects.) He acted the same way as someone would act if a co-worker cursed him out.

A few hours later, it seemed they either calmed down or dropped the act, and started acting more "normal", save for giving me the silent treatment for the rest of the evening. Now, my question is this: was all that really necessary? And like the title indicates, were the sadness and anger genuine, or some twisted, manipulative act? Post your thoughts. It really weirded me out back then, and still weirds me out to this day.

It sounds like there was something else going on that you didn't know about. Can you ask your parents about it? They probably won't remember the incident, but if they do, you might be relieved to find out why they reacted that way.

Without actually knowing your parents it is impossible to say. It isn't unheard of to cry in an effort to manipulate, my husband's mother was prone to this type of behaviour, but given the situation you described my guess would be that your mom was crying out of genuine frustration at you bringing home such a poor mark or anxiety for your future if that was the best you could achieve, and that your father was expressing himself angrily for the same reasons. Still, it does seem like an "over the top" reaction to a poor grade especially at such a young age. Maybe this was the beginning of their realization that there was something "different" about you, and they were having a hard time coping?

If you have the type of relationship where you could ask them now, that might solve the mystery.

BTW my parents were very angry if I brought home anything but the top grades as a child. I had tested with a "genius IQ" and they just couldn't figure out why I could fail so spectacularly at times if I was so bright, and so they assumed it was some sort of attitude/lack of effort problem and punished accordingly. They were also the types to care very much about what other people thought, and if I wasn't a good student this meant that I was shaming them in the community, so they took my achievements and failures very personally. Could either of these dynamics be at play in your own situation?

Three month old here (in two days) so he hasn't even reached grade school yet but I can still give you my opinion on this since I know about anger problems and my own experience.

From the looks of it, it sounds like they had very bad tempers and handled it immaturely. It's like they couldn't even tell you how you made them feel so they had to express it through actions. I have had to express my anger through actions because I couldn't do it with words. Could your parents have had difficulty expressing themselves? You have AS so could it be possible they had traits too? And some people do have very bad tempers so they do it through slamming things. Better than beating you. Some people beat their kids when they are angry so slamming things is better than beating their kids. My dad has slammed things when he be angry because he couldn't find something he misplaced. He also did it when he be frustrated. He even threw a TV remote at the wall when my brothers and him were arguing over it. He just had a bad temper at times. he even cursed too like if a rock hit his windshield and left a chip, he curse.


And about calming down, they may have not been angry at you anymore so they calmed down. Some people do the silent treatment, their way of dealing with their anger. I do that too but I am not doing it to manipulate. I am just so angry at the person I don't want to talk to them or associate with them.