A question about the early interventionist.

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Hi there.

I would love to hear your opinion about this.


My daughter has always been quiet. I remember reading about milestones, how she should be babbling (She spinned in circles constantly, sensitivity to sounds, texture of food, lined up toys, etc), but she wasn't. I talked to our pediatrician about it and she referred us to the early intervention.

We have been working with our EI for quite some time now. I have done nothing but complain about her to my family. I don't find her helpful but I'm a bit confused to what EI's do.
I live in Ontario, Canada. So I'm not sure if the way our EI works is the same compared to America.
Anyways. Our EI has been coming over since my daughter was about 9 months old. I feel so bad for saying this because our EI is such a lovely, sweet lady but I just don't find her helpful what so ever. I hold back what I want to say and hide in the dark. Plus, I didn't really know what to expect from our EI. I just justified it by telling myself "They probably don't come over to help you. It's more so to get the ball rolling, refer you to the right people and take notes on your child's development". She does at home visits about 3x a month. She just sits there, drinks coffee, talks about her grand children. When I ask her concerns about my daughter or what to do when she does this, that, etc. She avoids the questions.

But when I read what a EI is suppose to be doing (From the internet). Ours doesn't.
Aren't EI's suppose to give you advice? Help you? Answers questions?

Anyways. I was on the ados waiting list for 16 months. I only found out recently that my daughter is autistic (Low spectrum. BTW she is 3 and a half, turns 4 in November). The dr that gave us the diagnose, he has referred us to a few programs~ autism interventions. Now we're on the waiting list. I do remember the feedback we got from the dr that gave us the diagnose for our daughter. We were all sitting in the room, I had so many questions on what to do, what does this mean, etc. He said out loud, looked at our EI with a horrible look on his face, then looked at us and said "Your EI should of spoken to you about this. It's what they are suppose to expertise in." ... All I could think is well, she hasn't and every time I try to get help from her, she avoids the questions. This opened up my eyes a little bit like hey, maybe this woman just doesn't know what she is doing. I'm too nice for my own good. I justified it again by saying ok well maybe our EI hasn't been helping because she didn't want to help us due to not having the autistic diagnose. Now that we all know my daughter is autistic, maybe our EI will be helpful now...... nope lol. I have seen her 4x now, still no help. Still comes over and talks about her life and her children, grand children. When I try to get help about my daughters stimming or she's regressed with a few things, any advice, etc. She avoids the questions. I'm close to calling the head office and saying, I think I want to try and work with a different EI. My mother tells me to be careful. Your EI may turn around and say you're difficult, to protect herself. I am not difficult. I just want someone that knows what they are doing. Unless I have got it all wrong about what a EI should be doing.

If I'm not happy with our EI. Can I put her in the dark now? I don't mean, hide all info I get about my daughter from her. I just mean, do I honestly have to keep seeing this woman 3x a month when she doesn't even help us? Or should I bite the bullet, not complain about her but call the head office and explain I just want to try working with another EI? If they are suppose to help us and carry on to see our children, I would like to know so I can try to get a different EI. I'm so confused about it all. I told my mother when I get the autism diagnose, I'm thinking about just not seeing our EI anymore because she's not helpful then we can use the resources we got for autism. Then my mother tells me we're suppose to continue to see our EI even after the diagnose. Should I maybe try to work with another one then?


What does a EI basically do?
She did put us on the ados waiting list about 2 years ago. I thank her for that. Other than that, she's not much help.
But maybe I have got it all wrong. Maybe the EI is more of someone that just "monitors" your child's development? But isn't the one to help you? Although that dr from the ados team did say our EI is suppose to help us, your EI should expertise in that area... BUT SHE ISN'T HELPING US!

We never used EI but from what I understand aren't they supposed to work with the kid? Isn't that the whole point?

If she was just sitting there chatting she should be fired.

I live in the US, so I know it is different. In our area, the early childhood program (ECI) has someone who comes to your home and evaluates your child developmentally. They do not diagnose anything, but they do evaluate where the child is in relation to speech, and physical milestones. If your child lags, they offer OT/PT/ST services in your home. The frequency depends upon the amount of delay. After that, the therapists come to your home and work with your child. Periodic re-assessments are done to gauge progress and services needed. At age 3, the child then falls under the school district. We have an early childhood center in our school district. Children in ECI are evaluated by the school district at age 3. Children not already receiving ECI services are evaluated too if a parent requests it. After this evaluation, the child does not receive services at home any longer. They go to the early childhood center, which is like a preschool with therapies. Kids go from 2 days a week to everyday, depending upon their needs.

It is up to you to be pro-active in this matter. Sometimes, while very nice, these people do not do their job. My SIL has a child who was in ECI in the neighboring town. My SIL is extremely laid back. Her son was severely delayed in speech and other milestones. While she did have him in ECI, getting speech services, very little progress was being made and she didn't seem to want to be pushed if anyone probed her about it. I honestly do not know how any speech therapist worth his/her degree could not have talked to her about getting him further evaluated or more services. He was years behind. When he turned 3, she had to move him to the school district. My SIL was completely unprepared to hear what the school district said to her. She came out of that first meeting crying because she had no idea they were going to tell her the things they did. She said the speech therapist at ECI apologized to her for not noticing more. I don't know how the therapist didn't notice it. Everyone knew something was going on, especially after his speech wasn't improving, even after seeing a speech therapist for a couple of years.

My point is get informed and don't waste your time on people not doing their job. It isn't helping your child and the earlier the intervention, the better. If there are any parent support groups in your area, I would get in touch with them. While I don't always agree with all the parents, they are an excellent source of finding out the ins and outs of these programs.

Yup, I'd agree that, at least from what you've written here, it sounds like you have a dud. Can you call the department she works for and ask if there is any literature on the program? You can at least compare what she's doing with what they say is supposed to happen. If they don't have any literature, you might casually mention that you are confused about the purpose of the visits, as you aren't seeing progress, and would like some more information to make sure there isn't any miscommunication about how the program works.

Some of these programs look like they aren't doing anything (my son had one therapy where all he did was play board games, but he learned a LOT from that) and they are...but from what you've described, this doesn't seem to be that. I could be wrong, though, so it's worth checking with whoever she works for.

There are a lot of well-meaning people who wind up in jobs they aren't suited for. Sadly, in the case of individuals who make home visits, the only accountability they have are their clients, who rarely bring concerns to the attention of management. Think of it this way: if it isn't a miscommunication and it is your provider not doing her job, you aren't the only family who isn't getting what they need.

I have a friend who is a home-care nurse, and who tells me that it's her personality alone that ensures her client's well-being: there is zero accountability built in to the system. I imagine this is the same way.

For one thing, I would not serve her coffee. (I know she probably brings her own) She should not be sitting down and yammering about her grandchildren. I would not participate, and I would busy myself and tell her to work with your kid.

I did not have EI services, but from everything I have learned on here and elsewhere, the whole point is they should be working with your child and evaluating progress. They also should be educating you on parenting techniques that can help you and inform you about any other services you need with info on how to access it.

If this person is not doing this, nice though she may be, you will need to contact whoever it is in charge of deployment of personnel, and tell them what is going on, and that you need someone to help your child.