why are we medicating so many of our children?

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natterjack
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23 Mar 2011, 4:20 pm

Today i came on here looking for help, only to be horrified by the sheer amount of people who seem to use medication on thier children, does anybody know the future effects these strong meds can have on our future adults, antipsychotics, amphetamines, antidepressants. I fear some people (not all) turn to medication as a first port of call, the drug companies make extortinate amounts of money, and pray on struggling parents in their hours of need and the £££?$$$ keep coming in- how many docters/phychiatrists would do this to thier young ones, because id love to know! Wheres the therapy, counselling,etc? because i sure as hell know i was never offered any, i was basically told your son has a dx of AS, We can't help you, sign posted me to varying charities,i have had to fight tooth and nail for any help we've ever had, Even during times when my son was suicidal there been minimal support, though i would never turn to meds unless my i felt my son was old and responsible to make the decision himself, though i do admit to using herbal valerian to help with seveve sleep issues and even this was a last resort. We are teaching our children to become drug adiccts, how many of us would be horrified to find our kids addicted to crack or even smoking a bit of dope, because to my mind in many(not all) cases its the same thing, lets numb thier emotions, dumb them down, shut them up, because we can't cope. We need to help our children cope with themselves, gain an understanding of themseves, love themselves.
I would just like to add i have no idea what its like to parent a severly autistic child, my son has AS, and boy have we struggled, he has hurt himself, hurt me, been desparatley depressed, suicidal twice- i don't know what its like to stand in any one shoes but my own, i just think its all wrong, our kids dont deserve to to drugged to the eyeballs, there innocents in all of this........



Mama_to_Grace
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23 Mar 2011, 4:53 pm

It is partially the fault of the western mindset of health-that you medicate the symptoms instead of trying to address the cause of the symptoms. Pharmaceutical companies make big $$$$$$$ selling their products, marketing their products, coaxing Drs into pushing their products. Many prents feel helpless and still feel that an MD behind a name means they know how to fix their "problem". My daughter has been medicated and we have suffered horrible consequences for trying those meds. However, I would never judge nor fault any parent who has to make the unfortunate decision to medicate their child. I am sure they feel hopeless to help their child and trust that the Drs would not harm their children. Everyone makes their own decisions for their own reasons. Not all medications are evil-some are very helpful for our society and help otherwise incapacitated or ill people.



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23 Mar 2011, 4:56 pm

I was on medication for 17 years. I'm f****d up in the head. 14 pills every day will do that to you.



theWanderer
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23 Mar 2011, 4:59 pm

I have AS, and I'd like to thank you for being a voice of sanity. One of the few things my parents did right (in their defense, they both either had AS or had quite a few traits, and this was all before AS was even heard of, and autistic meant someone who never talked) was not drugging me.


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natterjack
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23 Mar 2011, 5:33 pm

mamma to grace- i do understand its parents at thier wits end, i just wish,wish wish the powers that be would spend some money on helping and training us nt parents, instead of lining thier big fat pockets on the back of our beautiful little people, who many will grow into the adults who may achieve some things alot of us could never dream of, i have watched my sister locked up, zombiefied just because someone said she was a nutter, she has gone from an exuberant young woman, to a quiiet, timid woman, i know she was poorly but ive lost me sis, and had to accept she will never be the same, i guess i am passionate in this area!! i just urge anybody to really think hard and try try try every other way first.



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23 Mar 2011, 6:51 pm

My 14 year old brother is high functioning, he was diagnosed on the spectrum. Not exactly Aspergers. We never pumped any of us full of medications despite his paranoias and slight anxieties about things.



missykrissy
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23 Mar 2011, 7:21 pm

natterjack wrote:
mamma to grace- i do understand its parents at thier wits end, i just wish,wish wish the powers that be would spend some money on helping and training us nt parents, instead of lining thier big fat pockets on the back of our beautiful little people, who many will grow into the adults who may achieve some things alot of us could never dream of, i have watched my sister locked up, zombiefied just because someone said she was a nutter, she has gone from an exuberant young woman, to a quiiet, timid woman, i know she was poorly but ive lost me sis, and had to accept she will never be the same, i guess i am passionate in this area!! i just urge anybody to really think hard and try try try every other way first.


we medicate our child for his protection and to protect the other kids from him. he is not at all 'zombiefied'. he is able to function better now. and by function i don't mean listen cause he still doesn't listen. he is able to learn now, although he still fights it at least he has a chance now. he is able to play with his siblings now with supervision, where before he only wanted to attack them. he can eat properly now that he isn't throwing his dinner at people and gagging on his food because he won't stop screaming. he gets to go to school because he's not always in meltdown mode. he can sleep at night now, instead of keeping everyone else up. i can take him out in public now, for very limited amounts of time although he still is difficult to handle in that situation we do not have security asking us to leave because of him. sometimes medication is necessary to fix an imbalance. kids can have severe problems too, not just adults. sometimes there is no other choice.



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23 Mar 2011, 8:15 pm

My parents had me on pills since I was ten. They did it because they wanted to help me out and I had gotten so impulsive, it was giving me trouble so they drugged me. They never drugged me before because they thought the pills would hurt me. But kids young as five can be on pills.



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23 Mar 2011, 8:23 pm

As a community, we strongly encourage parents to try everything else first but, long run, we aren't in the trenches day to day with that unique family and that unique child and it is impossible to say from the other side of a computer screen what choice any one family should have made. Do I feel that more families medicate than need to? YES, I do. Do I feel that most here do? NO, I do not. Can I tell with certainty which is which? NO, I cannot. Most of our families do try everything else first but at some point they feel they have to protect their child and protect their family, and you and I have to assume that there really was no other viable option. We can and should keep reminding them of the other things they can and should be doing, we can and should remind them of the side effects and negatives to keep eyes open for, and we can help them keep an eye out for warning signs that medication was actually more harmful than helpful but, after that, we have to trust their judgment.

It is, sadly, pretty difficult to fight the tide that says, "here, try this pill." By the time many parents find this place they are already on their 3rd or 4th variation of medication and really don't have the option of outright pulling it all; there are problems with that, as well. I do wish more doctors were informed on the non-medical methods to help families but I guess that just isn't their cup of tea.

Some issues do require medical intervention, but I agree that most of what we see with AS should not.


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Tracker
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23 Mar 2011, 8:26 pm

Medication is not an inherently bad thing. It is a tool that can be used to help people who are having difficulties, and if used correctly can make a significant difference for the better in their lives. However, that being said, like all tools it must be used properly.

For example, say my friend brings me a car and says that it is making an odd rattling sound. After a thorough inspection, I find that the sound is coming from a loose bracket that broke it's weld. In order to fix this, I get a blow torch and set it to low heat. After all, I am just trying to weld a small little area, not cut metal. I then carefully use this torch to weld the bracket back together, and that fixes the problem. And thus the welding torch (a tool) was used properly. First by identifying the problem, and next by carefully and correctly using the appropriate tool in a controlled manner as needed to fix the problem.

Conversely, lets look at this the improper way. Say my friend brings me a car and says that it is making an odd rattling sound. After opening the hood and staring at it for about 30 seconds I come to the conclusion that more blow torch is needed. I then get the blow torch, set it to maximum, and start waving it over the engine. I cut through gas lines, coolant lines, electrical cables, melt the battery, light the fuel pump on fire, and then put a hole in the air manifold. In this situation, I am indeed using a tool to fix a problem. But as I did not identify the problem, choose the appropriate setting, or carefully control it's use, the tool proved to not only be ineffective, but counter-productive.

The problem with medication is that it is sometimes used in an inappropriate way. Psychiatrists prescribe medication after only having a 15 minute discussion. The real causes of the problems are often never identified or dealt with. And when one medication doesn't work, its time to try another one and see if that works better, never bothering to check if they actually understand or care about what is causing the problem that they are trying to medicate. And as such, medication is often times ineffective, and counter-productive.

However, to say that all medication is bad is an over-generalization. Some people do indeed medicate their children for valid reasons, and with the proper diligence that the situation requires. And to jump on those parents and say, 'O bad parent, how dare you use a tool to help your child', is not helping the situation. So yeah, I medication isn't bad, it is just a tool. And depending on how a tool is used depends on how it turns out.


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24 Mar 2011, 9:31 am

Frankly, I come here to be supported, not judged or reminded.

My son is on meds because he was becoming increasingly, unexpectedly violent. They were regularly restraining him at school and he was attacking us at home. Once, he was trying to jump from a second story window.

It sucks. We tried everything before meds and were told that the more frequently he was violent and raging, the more he was developing his neural pathways to basically make permanent that mode of behavior. We were told that we needed to stop the violence to figure out the alternative behavioral issues.

Did I say this sucks?

I was once completely anti med. I am embarrassed to admit that I too sat in judgment of parents who medicated. I thought if they just read one more book, or just...blah blah blah. I was wrong.

So - let me say, it offends me to come to the place where I have learned the most and received the most support which has made the most difference in our lives - to find this type of comment. It serves me right, because I once thought the same things - however, I am still offended.



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24 Mar 2011, 12:04 pm

Kailuamom wrote:
Frankly, I come here to be supported, not judged or reminded.

My son is on meds because he was becoming increasingly, unexpectedly violent. They were regularly restraining him at school and he was attacking us at home. Once, he was trying to jump from a second story window.

It sucks. We tried everything before meds and were told that the more frequently he was violent and raging, the more he was developing his neural pathways to basically make permanent that mode of behavior. We were told that we needed to stop the violence to figure out the alternative behavioral issues.

Did I say this sucks?

I was once completely anti med. I am embarrassed to admit that I too sat in judgment of parents who medicated. I thought if they just read one more book, or just...blah blah blah. I was wrong.

So - let me say, it offends me to come to the place where I have learned the most and received the most support which has made the most difference in our lives - to find this type of comment. It serves me right, because I once thought the same things - however, I am still offended.


Thanks for sharing that.

We can't chuck a viable solution out the window just because some people use it at the wrong time. There are times that medication ABSOLUTELY is indicated, and I remember your situation well enough to feel really confident about your decision. Sorry if I didn't express that support well enough the first time.

I find myself conflicted about the whole discussion at times because I do hear too often about doctors who jumped right away to drugs before telling parents any single other thing. We get parents here who got a prescription the day they got the diagnosis, and come here wondering if that is right, because it felt wrong to them. At those times it is really viable to have them try something else first. People often are not aware of how incredibly difficult it is to go off of some of these drugs, and how destructive they can be (some horror stories exist), so it really should never be step 1, "oh, lets see what happens, maybe it will help." THAT would be the wrong approach.

But when you've tried everything you possibly could and feel like you're hanging on by a pinky ... you take the potential solution. And trying everything possible does not require reading every book on the shelf.

natterjack, you have to remember to never say never. Every situation is unique and I loved Tracker's example about blasting the engine. It applies here. But remember: sometimes you still need the welding tool.

As for us ... I'm pretty confident at this point that my son will never take medication. We were close in 4th grade, but I kept at it with mitigating the environment, got him into an anger management group, etc., and all those things WORKED. It was a slog of a year but I never felt like we were hanging on by a pinky; mostly I was focused on, "we need to figure this out before hormones kick in and he gets physically bigger, because then it will be out of control." Well, we did get it figured out. We were lucky; his temperamental issues really were all tied to the AS and not chemical or co-morbid.

My NT daughter is another question, however. I am at this point well convinced that she is subject to clinical depression and ADD. However, being aware that the medication for (a) is risky in young kids, often making it worse and that the medication for (b) loses effectiveness over time, I'm going to let her grow up before that treatment choice gets made. Right now she'll get by if she misses a few days of school every now and then for mental health reasons, and she is learning to manage the ADD sufficiently to keep her straight A's at school (it helps that she is gifted, we have some spare space to work in). If there is ever a time in life where a person should be able to just be the person they are, known flaws and all, isn't it childhood? So, since we're lucky enough for it all to be subtle enough that the rest of the world isn't dragged into it, we're letting her be who she is.

But if I had had her issues combined with my son's issues, instead of having them separated into two distinct individuals ... I honestly do not know what I would have done.


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24 Mar 2011, 2:45 pm

Kailuamom - Thank you for saying the things I was too hurt and angry to say.

Tracker and DW_a_mom - Thank you for your logic and support.

I think most parents in our position deal with this judgment every day. My father REFUSES to believe that there is anything "wrong" with his grandchild, nothing "a little strict parenting" can't solve. I work in an ER where the nurses are appalled that I allowed my son to be put on Zoloft, never mind that it actually helps him and he has never seemed to have any side affect from it. My best friend rolls her eyes if I say ASD.

I grew up in the 80's. I remember the news stories about "ritalin-zombie" kids.. Do you think I wasn't scared to death? Of course I was! I switched pediatricians, found the best one in town. We started at 5mgs and took a year to work up to 30mg in the am and 20mg in the pm, and then tried different medications. I have been as careful as I know how to be...

Yeah, I'm still incredibly hurt by your comment natterjack.

How dare you judge me!



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24 Mar 2011, 3:15 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
We can and should keep reminding them of the other things they can and should be doing, we can and should remind them of the side effects and negatives to keep eyes open for, and we can help them keep an eye out for warning signs that medication was actually more harmful than helpful but, after that, we have to trust their judgment.


DW a mom, I guess I was reacting to the idea that anyone should "get" to decide which case is justified and which is not AND the idea that then we on a frikken support forum would take it upon ourselves to remind each other of the inherant dangers.

So, thanks for saying that you think in my DS's case meds are warranted, but even that I find hurtful. Not to pick on you, but it's a really personal issue and much more difficult than can be judged by another poster. I don't like to hear that you will "trust my judgement" and then "remind them of.....".
The whole situation is extremely unfortunate and personally, I would prefer we stick to personal experiences. I can't figure out if anyone else's kid should take meds. If someone is struggling with the decision, I would gladly share our journey - which will most likely cause anyone to avoid meds if possible (I am NOT a proponent),. The problem is with some kids witholding them is actually abusive, and not the right answer either. Each parent has a really tough time to figure out if they are making the right choice. What if I stuck with my no meds position and my child succeeded in jumping out the window? Likely I would be judged then too.

Our experience was also that meds were offered too early and easily. At that time we opted to look elsewhere, but were not successful. In addition finding a correct med has been a nightmare, side effects of the most helpful meds have also been a nightmare, the wrong meds almost deadly.

So trust me....anyone in my shoes doesn't need to be reminded. Anyone that is here posting has likely worked hard to do the best they can for their child. I think the people here are those searching, not taking the easy road. It's pretty harsh when we try to generate doubt in those folks on a really tough journey.

So, DW_a_mom, I absolutely know that your heart is in a good place, and I post my perspective because I know you really care. :) This is a touchy issue and anyone posting is opening a can of worms. I hope the OP's child's issues can be improved with behavioral and environmental approaches which never require the use of meds.

I think it is important to mention that a peer reviewed Harvard study showed that unmedicated kids with ADHD were 50% more likely to self medicate with street drugs and alcohol. In other studies, they say the percentage of people who become addicted that have bipolar and are unmedicated, is closer to 100%. To ignore these statistics is not good either. While I realize that those groups are tied to a specific non AS diagnosis, when dealing with severe and scary behaviors, it is reasonable to look at the symptoms which lead to those dx.

Off soapbox......Thanks all for the support, and allowing me the soapbox :oops:



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24 Mar 2011, 3:18 pm

I understand where the anti-med poster's are coming from I to was one of them.
I am now ashamed to admit,I sat behind the safety of my pc screen, knowing very little about anyone else's family or situation except my own, and I judged the parents/care givers that medicated their kids. What a cop out, drugging the child into submission/passiveness so that the parent can cope.

My turn came. I am not going to explain my reasons for medicating my son to any one here any more. I don't need to defend myself, I've done nothing wrong. For me not to medicate and probably for most others that post on this board, would have been far worse.

Criticizing a parent (usually very emotional already) can be more harmful to the child. Try being supportive and offering advice. Medication isn't necessarily a life long thing. With the right advice and support from a place like wrong planet it can help the parent help the child more effectively.

The parents that have medicated their children and are still coming here for advice and support speak volumes to me. These are the parents that are actively seeking the best support that they can get, they haven't just medicated and given up. Sometimes negative feed back will drive a parent away (I have seen this often here :( ) Do you seriously want to be part of that child's and that parents problems? If you really think you have a better solution help get that family threw what ever difficulty is they're facing, with positive support, advice and encouragement. We all know just how critical the world can be already, don't add to it.


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natterjack
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24 Mar 2011, 3:47 pm

many of you have been hurt by my comments, yet i have re-read and have commented that i was not suggesting all parents, also that i majorly felt it was the fault of the medical proffession for not ploughing money into alternatives, also that i did not walk in others shoes, i did not single out any one person so im am sorry if anyone chose to take my opinion on a personal level, its just an opinion, a strong one all be it. I guess maybe im sitting on my high horse, not truly looking at the bigger picture, who knows- just like you once "burnt out mum"
i do not feel im completely ignorant, i used to sit and watch my son dig his fingernails into his head in sheer frustration, time and time again, listen to him like many of you wanting to die because noone undertsands him, pulling him out of the sea in the middle of a major meltdown, wishing i could make him happy, thrown everything at him to find his cups still half empty, having to keep reminding my self its harder for him when im being his verbal punchbag, day in day out and blah,blah, blah, but weve come along long way, a long way to go but i keep plugging away at try to scaffold him as much as i can, am am so proud of his achievements, i actally got on here as we'd have two days of school refusal am i could not get him going, i cannot force him to do anything he dosent want to do, how would i ever know if he was having issues at school, hes 13 and would never tell me, wether he would 100% know if people were taking the p*** i dont know, he dosent do failure of anysort, so addmittance of any thing that could be a problem would never be mentioned, you have to be a detective, this last term, he has been quite low, feeling sick, constipated, very tired, lots of aches and pains, hes finally being moved to a new class, as he wouldent settle, so i hope thing look up for him. i maybe angry at the lack of proffessional help available where i live,and having a bit of a rant, on here is helpful, though not to others if its offensive.