Please take care of your own retirement

Post Reply New Topic

Parents of autistic kids have a lot to worry about. I just want to remind people here to please try to fully fund your own retirement savings if possible. It's a great favor to your kids if they don't have to worry about your old age care (we all know how much autistic people can worry). For most of us our current priorities are to take good care of our children, but everybody will get old, the roles will be reversed when you're old and feeble. Your children will probably have enough trouble with their own finances, don't make them manage and pay your bills, too. They probably aren't very good with taking care of your health and finances, clean up your house, trim your bushes and mow the lawn regularly, that sort of stuff. If they're lucky enough to have an NT spouse, the responsibilities will probably mostly fall on their shoulders. It's not exactly fair to give them this additional burden.

That is assuming your autistic kids are high functioning and can probably lead an almost normal life. Even for high functioning folks it's quite likely they might not be able to find good jobs(thus broke), might not be able to buy a home (and have cramped living space), might not be able to drive a car, might not be able to keep their home clean or able to cook all the meals, might not be able to manage money or pay bills...etc. How can they help you then? Coming from a family with several autistic people (me being one) I know none of us make good care givers to old people, even if money is not an issue.

You probably don't have to be super rich to have your old age taken care of. Save what you can, build home equity. Look for decent seniors apartment and assisted living when you're still sharp mentally and make plans. Many places have deals if you pre-pay. Then you'll have a place to live, have help and be able to socialize. Oh and if you have the money, buy a cemetery plot and pre-pay the funeral home, have everything stated clearly in your plan. You children will thank you for making their grief and pain easier.

Sorry about the morbid topic. It's always good to be well prepared.

You are totally correct - we as parents should remember to take care of ourselves and our future.

I have to admit, it is pretty uncomfortable hearing it from the perspective of, while you may have spent all of your resources on your autistic kid, you better make sure you never need to depend on them for anything.

Your post was a reminder of how focused on our kids we are, and how that really doesn't serve any of us.

Its hard because when the autistic kids are kids we as parents often use all of our internal and financial resources on our kids and those kids don't understand when we resist putting them before ourselves and the rest of the family. We as the parents need to make those tough choices and remember ourselves and our future, for everyone's sake.

My husband and I will work to grave, is about the sum of it. I don't see a way around it; we're got a bit of a plan but not nearly what we should have, and it is what it is. People do that in my line of work, stay at their desks until their 80's, so if my health is up for it no one will force me to retire.

Well, at least we won't go into our golden years with any illusion that 65 is it. We KNOW it's not. We will work until we can't, and hope that the little we do have will be enough for the years from that point on.

Isn't that the way it used to be? Retirement was never supposed to be 20 years long. Few can save for that.

But, yes, everyone needs to at least have thought about it.

No cemetery plot for me... I will prefer to spend that money for a travel. I never saw a body left unburied, if my son will not make it, someone will.

i was my late parents' caretaker, and the only thing that saved me was the superb government benefits that they got. i would never have been able to fund their medical care, even a fraction of it. the main challenge for me was all the infernal paperwork i had to fill out and keep track of, that took all of my neurons working on overtime, in addition to having a full-time job. i think that wore me out for the rest of my life, IOW my brain's shot.

We're fortunate to live a country that still provides free medical care to the populace and benefits for pension-aged adults. I did buy life insurance "just in case". I'm now worth more dead than I probably ever will be alive. I did that specifically so that the guardian of my child has the means to assist if (forbid) I don't make it until he's a teenager. That's not really an option, but I wanted to prepare for it anyhow.