Help or advice. Thanks

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Hi,

I have recently been told that my daughter likely has a ASD. My husband and I think that it certainly is a possibility. It would answer a lot of questions. However when we brought it up with her school they said they didn't see any tell tale signs of any ASD. The doctor said it seemed mild. Would it be unusual for someone with a ASD to have very different behaviour at school then at home? Sorry I don't know much about Autism. I am rather new at this so I don't mean to come off as ignorant.

Thank you very much.

How old is your child and who suggested she might be ASD?

I think most would agree that behavior is definitely situational and very influenced by environment. Normally, I think we see more issues at school than home, but every kid is different. I think we need to know a little more... Age, troublesome behaviors, personality. I could see how if she is a quiet, shy person that kinda keeps to herself, she might not have as much issue at school, or they might not be as apparent... I'm not sure.

Tell us more about her.

And don't worry about coming off as ignorant... You came for advice and help and that's exactly what this place is for.

The school just don't want to pay, for services the child may need and deserves.

1. Never trust the schools because they put their finances above the needs of your kid. Most parents, even when the childs impairments are obvious, unless they children are disruptive in class, usually have to fight for accommodations.

2. There is a theory that many girls with Asperger Syndrome go unnoticed because they tend to be more reserved than the boys and may either keep to themselves or embed themselves in a group of girls. Girls may also learn to mimic others better than boys.

My teachers would usually tell my parents I did fine at school. What they meant by this was that I was compliant and did what I was told. What I didn't do was learn much of anything or socialize. I did not interact with the children at my table and I did not interact with the children at recess. I spent most of my time at recess humming to myself with my hands over my ears as I marched along the lines on the blacktop, humming to myself as a circled a tree, swinging, digging a hole to nowhere in the sandbox, or standing against a wall watching people, or at the far end of the field ignoring everyone. Occasionally I'd get ahold of a good ball and play with it, but the point is, I didn't interact with the other children.

But because I was not breaking any rules or causing a disruption, I was "doing just fine".

I had actually been speculated to be on the spectrum since the age of 2 but my parents had not revealed this to the school.

I only caught the attention of the school because of my abysmal attendance and they originally wanted to address this by putting me in juvenile hall. This was in the 1980's. What ensued was a very big battle, which didn't serve me particularly well but laid a foundation from which I'm sure others benefited.

I'd go outside the school for any evaluations and such because they are not your ally unless you force them to be, and you will need to present them with proof as to why they should be,

I would agree that - if you are concerned about specific signs of ASD , and you have the means to do so - you should get an outside assessment if you want help at school. They will have a more difficult time refusing services if you have a diagnosis (they will have to agree with the diagnosis, though; it's a process.)

For years, my son was only mildly disruptive at school - but explosive at home. I think this is not uncommon with kids on the spectrum; it confused us a great deal when we were first presented with the diagnosis of Asperger's, which we thought was a static set of behaviors. DS was holding in all his confusion during the school day and letting it out once he got to a safe place - unfortunately, that meant that we bore the brunt of whatever happened.

I probably have Asperger's myself, and went through school before the diagnosis was even around in the US. I don't have any recollection of being a "problem" either - though I did often talk out of turn, and I didn't socialize well at all (when I did play with other kids, it was usually boys - something that's also not uncommon in children with social skills deficits.) I realize now that I really could have benefited from many of the therapies my son has access to.

Thanks so much for replying. I really appreciate it. My child is 5 years old and my husband and I were told by a psychologist that our daughter’s behaviours would likely indicate that she has Asperger’s Syndrome. My daughter is shy but also energetic. She has a more difficult time focusing on tasks. I think that more has to do with the fact that if it is not one her interests she doesn’t have any interest in it. She has very few interests. Her interests are dinosaurs, Star Wars, and marine life. They are also all she talks about. It seems like you cannot have a conversation with her that does not include one of those topics. If you try to have a conversation with her about something else it turns right back to her interests. She will not tell you about her day at school unless it has something to do with her interests.

When she interacts with other children they often grow bored or annoyed with her because she only wants to talk about her interests or play what she is interested in. When it comes to playing with other children it is more like she and the other child are doing their own thing. Her play is quite repetitive. It almost seems like there is a script and she just does the same thing over and over again. She doesn’t play with toys unless they are apart of her interests and even then it is very scripted repetitive play.

She doesn’t like to stop what she is doing. We try to explain to her that we have to have supper or we have to go out but a tantrum or fit usually occurs anyways. She gets freaked out at loud noises such as thunder and the sound of toilets flushing. She will shut down and start squealing, or grunting. Usually she does this when go out. She must take what I call her security items with her everywhere. She doesn’t seem to pick up on cues very well. You have to repeat things it feels like 50 times or be very blunt with her. She has a hard time expressing her feelings or initiating contact with other people. She very much likes structure and she does much better with it. This is probably way too much information but I wanted to paint a clearer picture of my daughter. The school did mention that they would not do any further testing . We will look into it further on our own because we would like to help our daughter as much as possible and we would like to figure out what has been going on with our daughter. Thanks for reading and replying.

I am at work and on my cell phone...so i will keep this short. 1 it sounds like she has her issues...don't give up. and 2 if this is an asd issue..it will get more apparent as she gets older.. our first diagnosis was adhd...then anxiety...then i finally got a few people to listen and we finally got an AS diagnosis..
hang in there and do everything you can to go around the school. start with the psychologist that said she probably was.. get advice there.

Focus on the professionals. I work in the educational field and I work with complex autistic! When my daughters phsyc suggested Asd, I initially though he was a fool, now I feel, how did I miss the signs. Teachers and education have such obvious signs in front of them, they judge autism and Asd on the children they work with and often have a limited view of Aspergers. Their experience of your childs behaviour in school is relavant, not their judgement of whether Autistic traits are there. Each professional has a different role.

Trust in the team of people who will assess your daughter. And let them assess! Hope you get answers, this is not easy for any of us whether we have Autism limiting our children or not.