Needing ideas and strategies

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Hello there all! My son is really struggling in school with getting along with others and working in partners or groups. I am looking for any strategies, ideas, social stories and/ or games that I can do with him to help him with this concept. I will take any help I can get! THANKS!! !! !

I forget how old he is? That will make a difference.

In general, my son learned early on to ask the group to split the task and give him his job. Then he does his job. That does not solve all the problems, but if he can be assigned to a group he trusts, and the project is already defined, he has success with that.

A common problem will be that the group doesn't trust the AS kid to do any important job, and wants to give him one he either isn't interested in or will not excel at. So, he definitely has to learn how to advocate for getting the right piece of the project ... and how to ask the teacher for help if he doesn't. On the flip side, however, is the fact that once the group realizes your child has talent, they try to assign all the nitty gritty to him and that isn't fair, either.

The issue no one can fix:

When the other kids don't do their jobs and the group grade suffers.

So, after years of working in groups, in most situations my son (in 8th grade) prefers to ask the teacher if he can be a group of 1, knowing full well that he will have to do the work of a group all on his own. If he can get group mates he knows and trusts, he can be very good in group work. But getting group mates that won't slack on him and that provide the right yin and yang is pretty tough.

Hello!

I too am wondering how old your son is?

I am a special education teacher. I love my job! I have been teaching special ed for eight years with middle school studients and working with students with autism even longer than that.

Your son's issue with working with a group is definately not an uncommon one amongst middle school aged students. As DW_a_mom posted, many of my students choose to do the work on their own even though it frequently takes more effort. They just prefer having the control over what they are doing as well as knowing what their expectations are. I also have students who will work in a pair instead or have had teachers pair up two of my students because then they know that they can work on the project together in the resource room and get some assistance or even with another person, but still come out and get help.

I think that if you have a classroom teacher that is willing to work with you and with your child's special ed teacher, they can assign roles to suit your son's individual strengths or areas of interest and assign the other students roles as well. Sometimes they can even go out on a limb and assign them something that is a little "out of of the box" so a student learns, but this is all very individual based upon the student themselves.

I have had students that started out in the 6th grade working on projects indepdently that then learn the skills they need through careful selection of group partners or team members that eventually learn to be part of the group, but the learning process is not always an easy one.

As far as getting along with others in general - are his teachers or his special education teacher working on social skills as far as how to get along with others, what it takes to be a friend, etc.?

Lincoln is 7. We are very new to all of this in fact we don't have a diagnosis yet we have done the evaluation and we are waiting to meet with the doctors. But I definitely see Asperger tendencies that are there. His teacher is very willing to do anything we can to help him. We are also in the process of getting an IEP going but not there yet either. I am a special education teacher for 5 years and have really never had a diagnosed autistic child in my room so this is all new territory to me and I want to be as active at home as they are at school!

Just pointing out an option....

I've sent both my children to Scouts. The youngest is just moving up from Joeys to cubs (7) and the eldest (10) is about to move from cubs to scouts.

I wasn't comfortable sending them alone, so I became a leader. It means that I have the opportunity to watch them in action with other kids. I don't correct things on the spot but if something bad is happening I ask another leader to deal with it for me. It also means that I can talk to my kids about incidents when they get home and explain why things happened the way they did.

Scouts is all about "we'll do our best" - not "be the best". This means that we award badges according to effort and ability rather than any other type of measure. Scouts is also quite focussed on teamwork and support. There are "kid leaders" who are supposed to ensure that their entire team is looked after.

Obviously not all scout groups are equal. Many leaders have special needs children themselves and are quite accommodating but others are less so. It might be worthwhile visiting a few and finding out whether any meet your needs.

After all, they're great life, leadership, social and group skills practice sessions and they have a lot to offer aspies.

The school my son goes to has an excellant program for the kids on the spectrum. My son is 15 and a freshman. this is the second year they have had this program. They have one particular thing that they do for social skills and communication called "Circle of Friends". My son, his SPED teacher, and I each reccomended some kids from his class to participate in his certain circle. They get together once a week during lunch and do an activity or just communicate. It has helped alot. Before circle of friends started my son did a presentation in front of his class and explained what AS was in his own words. They responded real well. Since this started the kids are alot more open with my son then when he first started school here. I could tell you alot more about what this program at school has done for him but it would be a book.

I think that gbollard has a great idea with Boy Scouts. I have also had parents who have had great luck with Taekwondo (they work a lot on respect, self control and self montoring, etc. and even 4H. In my small community they have many projects in 4H even for young kids and it gives them a chance to interact with and practice the social skills they are learning with peers their age who can be great role models!