anger at participation

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My daughter will get very angry if I participate in what's going on on TV like if I sing a song that they're singing or Dora or Diego says to say a word in Spanish and I say it, she'll say a nonsensical word of the day and if that doesn't work for her then she'll hit or try forcing her finger in my mouth or strike out at the cat.

I don't know what to do about this except to give her time-outs for hitting me or the cat.

When I say "word of the week", she'll say a word that she'll say in frustration. This week it's "meow". A while ago, it was "ouchie".

Your hurting her ears. That's why she is saying 'ouch'. And when you fail to stop after she says 'ouch', you are still hurting her ears. It is PAINFUL! It isn't surprising that she then tries to make you stop via more physical means.

As for why she is saying 'meow'? My guess is that is the sound the cat makes when it gets hurt. And since ouch didn't convey the meaning of 'your hurting my ears', she thought she would try the cat's version of 'ouch' and see if that gets the point across better.

So, all that to say, please stop singing or talking while the TV is on because it really is very very very painful.

Hm, my son hated Dora when he was younger and he wouldn't let me sing the song either. It didn't have to do with sensory stuff since it was just Dora and her song. Now he wouldn't let me take Diego even that he claims that he will be Animal rescuer when he grows up. I guess positive emotions are too much so he avoids it.

Also my son would object sometimes when I break the pattern (he likes to repeat some stories and some senseless statements) but I think it is healthy for him to get used to that.

My son can't stand it when I sing along with songs or participate in things like tv shows etc, and I do (as Tracker described) get the sense from him that it hurts his ears.

As long as we are in a situation where it is reasonable for me to NOT sing along or participate, then I have learned to simply avoid this trigger for him. However, I have a 2 year old who is still learning to talk, and there are times when it is really necessary for his development for me to sing or participate in things that are going to annoy/hurt my older son's ears. In those cases I let him know that if it is bothering him, he needs to move to another room.

No. That's not it. She's said other things as well. I have a low voice and not a loud one. Her ears aren't being hurt. If they were, she'd be saying it every time I open my mouth.

Jeez, that's not even a silver medal try.

And she's not even on the spectrum.

Whether she's on the spectrum or not I can't say, however Tracker is bang on with his assessment in terms of kids with AS. This is a very common sign of kids with AS, and has nothing to do with how loud a person's voice is. I can be whispering at a level barely audible to the human ear (because I know my son can't stand anyone singing along with a song, and yet I love to sing, so sometimes I try to just barely whisper along with the song in another room) and he will still hear me and be unable to tolerate it.

Kids with AS have radically different auditory processing. They have super-human hearing, in many cases being able to hear what is clinically defined as silence. These differences also make it essentially painful for them to process more than one sound at a time in certain cases, and from my experience and research, that is why so many of them get really angry when people sing or play along with existing auditory input.

I think a more important question here is, if you know it's bothering her so much why do you keep doing it?

It isn't the volume or the pitch that causes pain, it is the interference. Basically, when you sing along, you aren't singing perfectly in pitch, nor in time. You might hit a note 1/8th of a second late, or be half a note sharp. It isn't something that most people would notice, but it is an audible difference to people with sensitive hearing. And the problem is that when you are singing, and the show is singing, that is two different inputs trying to be processed on the same channel. As a result of trying to process two inputs on one channel, you get this interference in the process that can only be described as a painful sound. It would be like somebody blasting white noise at you while you are trying to listen to TV.

As far as the random word usage? I don't think she is especially adept at choosing the right words to convey her meanings yet. At this point in her language development, she is merely trying out words to see what works and what doesnt. But given that she used a word, and then tried to make you stop, it is reasonable to conclude that the meaning she is trying to convey (despite the odd word choice) is that she wants you to stop.



It was at least a silver! The Russian judge was just stingy with his scoring.

Very interesting explanation Tracker. My son can't stand when I 'recite' along with our tape in the car. I swear I'm not loud at all (basically reciting to myself), but he goes absolutely ballistic kicking my seat from behind and screaming. I just stopped doing it without thinking until now.

He never does it any other time other than this. I'm curious if Master Jedi has experienced other instances with sound sensitivity?

It's not unusual for children to get upset when their parents do something they consider to be "stupid" or "lame". It's perfectly normal behavior. The best thing to do would be not to provoke it. She'll get past it by the time she's about 26.

she IS NOT on the spectrum.

I'll just chalk it up to kids not liking it when their parents sing and close the subject.