Need advice re: sending son on trip

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My son is almost 15. Diagnosed at 12 w/HF AS, is very angry about the diagnosis. He is involved in our church's youth group. He has two guy friends, but most of the other youth 'tolerate' him; never initiate conversations etc. They are going on a missions trip to help inner city kids this summer, about 300 miles from home. He is begging to go. His two buddies are going, but I am still not sure this is a good idea. He also has OCD, and was house bound the entire school year last year. We got help and he is in high school! Any one have suggestions? It is close enough that if we let him go, we can go get him if he needs us to...why do I feel so uncertain?

Sounds like my kindred spirit. Admittedly, I may not know the circumstances of why, but I felt the same way about the DX when I was his age.

My advice is this: If he feels he is ready to go, then let him go. He will be chaperoned, I'm assuming and at the very least you could see if there's a chaperone who will keep a closer eye on him. Maybe see if you can get ahold of the people who will be in charge of the trip.

He's fifteen now and the fact that he is so dedicated to going on this trip is a good sign. Because this is what adult life is going to be like. Going places, getting out there and meeting people. This experience will be a better teacher for him than just being forced to stay at home and not participate in the world.

Encourage this trend. If getting him the help is what got him into high school (mainstream I'm assuming?) then perhaps this trip will be the thing that helps him gain his confidence. The worse that can happen is he doesn't like it. And if not it will be a learning experience.

Which inner city? I ask, because you might be able to find some support services for your son there - a place to "escape" to (with permission and help of course) if things aren't going well. One of the advantages of an inner city is that they are usually connected with a big city and lots of social services.

Your responses are very helpful. This is my firstborn, so letting the apron strings go doesn't 'feel' good, but a part of life, even when your child has AS. Wow, a big moment for me!
The trip is to Denver. I have explained a bit of AS to the leader and his wife, I feel/trust they will look out for my son. I think what scares me the most is his social deficit; he tries too hard and ends up putting others off with his attempts to be funny or sarcastic. I guess looking at this as a learning/experience lesson is the way to do it. Again, thanks for your input!

Another bit of advice I'd like to offer and this is more of a general bit than just for the field trip, is not to bring up Asperger's with others unless your son requests it. People like my aunt had a habit of crying from the rooftops about my diagnosis to anyone she spoke to. And believe me, it wasn't as helpful as she might have thought.

Certainly mention your son's individual quirks, etc. He's a bit bossy, he has a hard time with groups, etc. There's nothing wrong with running interference, but people who aren't familiar with Asperger's are as likely to jump to inappropriate conclusions as they are to be helpful. I'm definitely speaking from experience here.

I'm my mother's first born too. And she learned a long time ago to just drop the subject all together and to let me figure things out for myself. My aunt on the other hand, well, her own son is a high school drop out with no plans of getting his GED or a job. So that tells you who was the better parent there.

Think of it as a matter of privacy. You may be comfortable with his diagnosis, but as you stated, he clearly isn't happy with it. Which to me says that he doesn't want people seeing the label before they see him.

So, I hope I haven't over stepped my bounds by saying all of this. But at the same time, I hope it gives you some insight.

You did not overstep any boundaries, I am taking it to heart...I have been convicted lately of how I almost flippantly tell others about his diagnosis. I hear you loud and clear and respect what you said, THANK YOU! You have given me the insight I hoped to gain from coming to this site. (if your nickname is accurate, I believe you both have the same first name!)
Have a great weekend, and I'll update here after the first week of June, when he returns from the trip! ciao!

Why wouldn't it be a good idea? Aside from the usual risks associated with travel and stepping out of the house, the worst case scenario is likely to be that he gets stressed, or into some trouble but so what? You don't help him by sheltering him all of the time and prohibiting him from opportunities that can provide valuable learning experiences, socialization, and independence.

You should let him go.

We turned in the deposit and application! Thanks for the support and encouragement. His two friends are also going to be on the trip so that calms my heart; these guys 'get' my son, and will be a safe place for him if he gets worried, etc.
I will post how it goes in mid June! Again, I am so glad to find this site! I met Alex at the Conference in March, he truly was an inspiration to me and for my son's future!