Summer Camp

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Hi All -

My DS is 11 and pretty isolated. He has only two friends and those kind of come and go. He craves kids to hang out with, he just doesn't know how to make that happen or what to do when it does happen. He's fine if they want to play his preferred video game or watch you tube videos, otherwise he's in trouble.

Anyway, I was thinking about having him go to a summer sleep away camp for AS kids. It seems like it would be great for him to be around other kids that were like him. On the other hand, I can't imagine his anxiety with no electronics, and his night time routine missing.

What are your thoughts and personal experiences?

It sounds like a combination of the worst parts of summer camp (which rarely ever went well for me, but did a couple of times sort of) and special AS schools (which I heard went well for one person who isn't me). The only specifically-for-AS summer camp experience I had was pretty meh-- it didn't work out for me, but it was fine for the other kids. At least, I think it was. I'm not great at picking up on it when people feel bad. (But then, it usually worked out great for everyone else, whatever "it" was, be it summer camp or anything else.) I think there's huge potential for this to go wrong and very little benefit if it goes right.

I went to a Reform Jewish camp when I was 9 or 10 (don't remember exactly). It was located in a scenic forested area, but kids slept in two-story cabins with running water, electricity, and twin beds. It was not a rustic camp by any means, otherwise I would have hated it. There were playgrounds, athletic courts, kids were allowed to run free in the forest on camp property, and optional sports games were held semi-regularly. There was no lake at camp (which brought down the price), but there was a swimming pool. Meals were served in an indoor dining hall.

Religious aspects were limited. Jewish-themed stories were read during a "reading hour" (a more mature term for "story time", I suppose), services were held on Friday and Saturday nights, kids recited a short prayer a few times a day if they wished, and all food was kosher. Other than that, camp staff did not indoctrinate, Jewish laws were not enforced, and non-Jewish kids could attend camp (they sat silently during services, which was allowed).

I'd describe my camp experience as "decent". I spent at least some of my time alone just wandering around, and a few kids picked on me a little bit, but overall, I had far fewer difficulties with making friends than I expected. There was usually at least one person who was OK with sitting on a bench and telling made-up stories. And I always had a backup option of finding a group of kids playing hide and seek among the trees and joining them. This was especially during sunset, when long shadows extended from every tree.

It was a completely mainstream camp, meant for NT kids, but I think the fact that the camp was Jewish reduced the bullying factor. It seemed to attract kids with better morals than a secular camp would. Sadly, I haven't been able to find it online, since from what I heard, it stopped operating long time ago, probably before the internet even became widespread.

My son has never been to a special AS camp, but overall he's had a great time with all his camp experiences. I think something he recently told me may be a big part of it: he worries less about melting down or otherwise acting odd because it isn't likely he'll ever see the kids again. He chose not to go on the school trip to DC as much as he wanted to for the trip itself because he was worried that something would happen forever tarnishing his interactions with the kids he'll be going to school with. Take that worry away, and he enjoys himself more.

Has your son done any day camps? How have those experiences been for him?

How does he feel about the idea of overnight camp?

I've found that while it can be difficult to get my son to say that absolutely, yes, he likes an idea, he is very good at pinpointing ideas he hates, and telling me exactly why. I would not make such a decision for him; I found find out what he thinks.

Quite a few AS have expressed that they love traveling, btw, even though it takes them out of their routines. Partly because they are forced to drop the expectations; there can't be any.

Ds would prefer to stay home in front of the TV forever. However, he is desperately lonely and wants friends. While the online friends playing video games help, they don't fill his need. That's the upside I am looking for.

Further, once he's engaged in something fun, he typically enjoys it. So, since his answer to everything is no. I need to decide on some acceptable choices and allow him to choose between them. So maybe like OK - summer school, day camp or overnight camp. Then he can decide.

He has gone to day camp with NT kids and it did not go well. He doesn't know how to integrate into a group and there was no mechanism to facilitate that happening. So he was isolated in a group and HATED it. Then, he got overwhelmed, was having a quiet meltdown under a towel, when a kid yanked the towel off of him and said boo. He started choking the kid, and was thrown out of the camp. That was all before we knew what was up with him.

I would recommend a day camp, if you can find one that appeals to borderline AS kids to start with, and is super structured. At least as one of the choices. We have several tech camp choices for kids that age that are great: they can learn to do stop action filming, computer game programming, and so on. As they get older you can find overnight tech camps at universities - my son will do one this summer. Hold on to your hat, however, when looking at pricing. These are insanely expensive.

I will add, however, that where a child sits on the spectrum makes a difference. While my son does well in all sorts of geeky activities, there is another boy we've run into a lot who really struggles. My son, unfortunately, wants nothing to do with the kid, and I wish that wasn't true. Sometimes I worry that this boy's family is doing everything I recommend in an annoymous place like this and it still doesn't really play out. Basically, I only know the section of the spectrum my son sits on; I can't say for sure how things work when you have a child differently affected.

My daughter, btw, is the couch potato / "wish I had more friends" one in our family. Really hard to fight the inertia. I've gotten her to intellectually understand that friendships can't be worked on from the sofa, and you've got to get out and make it happen, but it is hard for her, and she isn't even AS as far we can tell (just a few genes, like the rest of the family).

Here's the challenge.......

We do not live near any option. SO - If we do Summer School, I will likely travel to an area and stay there for the duration. I will want it to have substantial benefit. Sleep away camp, well.... that's obvious because it's sleep away. I don't think that a borderline camp will meets DS's needs because he can melt down in a big way when the ratio is too high, or not very knoweledgable. AND they are about an hour from home/work. So.... If I'm going to do it, I want to be fairly certain that they can handle him to make the commute coupled with expense worth while.

What's funny about DS is that his AS is not too noticable from the outside (he makes OK eye contact), so people would think he's OK and that's what get him into trouble. They don't automatically step in to help him. He doesn't communicate distress, unless you realize that chewing, chair tipping and rocking are distress. He gets into trouble with the social stuff because he wants desperately to make friends, so he could really use a camp that is set up to address those needs, rather than focus on a specific theme. If that theme isn't a certain video game, song lyrics or you tube videos, I doubt it will get his interest.

To further the complications, the meds he's on have contributed to him being about 50#s overweight. Sooooo a camp that helps with physical activity would be really great.

I am mostly curious to hear what apies actual experiences have been. It's all really expensive and would be huge for him.

I have no actual experience to offer, but had looked into this for my son - I live in terror of next year's 5th grade sleepover camp, and wanted DS to have a few experiences under his belt with experienced counselors. The one near us offers daily social skills groups and one-on-one therapy sessions - and those are covered by insurance, so the expense wouldn't even be as much as our local YMCA camp.

I don't know how long these types of camps have been around, considering that Aspergers has only been a diagnosis in the US since th 1990s...and I don't think a general "special needs" camp would work.

Covered by insurance......wow, I hadn't thought of that! Let me know how you managed that.

These are what I am considering for summer camps...

http://www.campakeela.com/index.htm

http://www.summitcamp.com/

http://altitudefamilies.com/camp.html?g ... 7Qod4EY6ug

http://www.camp-sequoia.com/location.php

Summer school -

http://www.monarchschool.org/SummerProgram.html

Day Camp -

http://www.trailstosuccess.com/our-programs.html

Says so right here: http://www.campfireflyjcfs.com/Apply.html I would shoot an email to all the other camps and see if the support-related portions can be paid for by insurance. We are still thinking about it to some degree.

(by an odd coincidence, considering Aspie1's post it is also a Jewish camp.)

I sent my AS daughter to a special horsemanship camp last year. It was amazing the difference it made in her! She talked about it non-stop the rest of the summer. She even started hugging me after she got back home....something she hadn't done in years. I think the physical contact and special bond between the horse and rider awakened something inside her. It's a small change, but a very, very good one. Well worth it!

I am actually attending a summer camp open house next week with over 20 different summer camp programs for kids on the spectrum! I'm hoping to find one that I can send our AS son to for a portion of the summer, because without ESY, I have a feeling it is going to be a long eight weeks at home.

Awesome - would you mind posting your impressions after you go? I would love to hear more.

I'm not sure if you've decided anything yet, but i'll share my story anyway:
My experiences with summer camp have been amazing. I am a different person while i'm there. I guess that being outside and by/in the water all the time makes me calmer, infact i didn't have any meltdowns while at camp! And my personality (a lot of which has to do with asperger's) doesn't seem to threaten people, instead they just see me as a strong, intelligent person. I think it's also nice to go somewhere where you have no reputation and people can just form thier own opinions of you, especially in a favorable environment. Camp life is also very structured. We get up, go down to breakfast, eat, get dressed, and then we go to our first activity of the day. At the begining of camp, you get to choose 4 activities you would like to do, and they are organized into time slots much like periods at school. You do them in small groups, which i really like, and it's a good opportunity to make friends. In between 2nd and 3rd we eat lunch in the dining hall, then is siesta (i like to waterski then because i'm not really into rest-time), then we go to our 3rd activity, then 4th. After that is the only unstructured time where you can swim, sail, get snacks, etc. we then go to dinner and after that is our night-time activity, and we have batman night where we have to defeat all the villians and stuff like that. On rainy days we do activities like have ugly padgents and such.

So, anyway, i think summer camp could be really fun for your son! I think for a lot of it is very aspie-friendly. I go to a YMCA summer camp in a lake in the Berkshires. It's just for regular kid's, but i still had fun! The only thing i would advise is to try and set up something were he can call you if he really needs to, because last year i did have a meltdown, only because i was really homesick and they wouldn't let me call my parents. Also, i would just have him go for a week, and if he wants to stay longer (if you allow), they will always allow him to ask you that.

good luck!

Jordan goes to a day camp for a few weeks each summer.. week on 2 off then a week at camp sort of deal. She loves it and has a great time. The camp is structured well and that helps her. What they are doing each day is on a big board for the parents .. Jordan keeps up with this and knows what to expect. They are very active and but with a 'schedule' and they have a movie or art or something for downtime (bc the counselors need a break lol)

It's wears her out but she has fun.