Getting my son on board with moving.....

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mom23
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26 Apr 2011, 10:11 am

I am new here. I have a 9 year old son who was just diagnosed with aspergers last year. I always knew my son was different, and with the aspergers dianosis, it made everything make sense.
I am so grateful to have found this forum, you guys have no idea!! !! !! !! !! !! !! ! (well maybe you do :) )
N has always struggled with trying to be everything that's expected, especially at school.
My latest issue is that I am getting married (his dad and I got divorced 2 years ago) and plan to move to a different state this summer. N had a melt down this morning over it and said he will not go!
I am so happy I found you!! !! !
Any advice would be so appreciated~!



draelynn
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26 Apr 2011, 10:28 am

Lots and lots of talks about it in a plain way. I know I prepare my kidling for big changes by introducing them as early as possible and then help her look up information online. The website fro the town where you are moving might be a good start. The school district website. contact the school now and explain the situation - maybe the special ed dept can send along something to help with the transition - email pictures of the school, the teachers, etc... If they are really interested maybe they could even find him a pen/email pal from his new class.

For every negative she gives me, I try to back it up with a positive and make sure the conversation ends on a positive thought. Basically, slowly chip away at it. She doesn't like change but she is even more driven by the logic of the situation. I try and let her argue herself into the change and give her as much fuel as she needs to convince herself.



Chronos
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29 Apr 2011, 2:06 am

I had a big cross country move when I was very young and while it was stressful, I eventually got over it. After that, my family moved about every 3-4 years on average to different houses within the same area. I didn't have a problem with the latter moves because the houses usually had some feature I liked.



Peeled_Lemon
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30 Apr 2011, 11:46 pm

You could also talk about the bedroom your son will have and tell him you want his help to decorate it. Point out that this is (probably) the first chance that he's EVER had to choose his own room, from the colour of the walls to the flooring and bedspreads. Teach him about that state and the kinds of things there are to do there.



anni
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02 May 2011, 6:21 pm

You just have to keep talking about it, focussing on the positives. Don't get into arguments about the move. Anything involving change is going to be difficult for someone with Asperger's. Point out the things that will be the same, and how you are prioritising for your child's needs with the move.