Pretty sure 10yr old daughter has aspergers

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I dont really know what to say. I dont know what questions I even want to ask yet. I've always known my girl is an odd little cookie. I think aspergers just hid behind everything else but it fits. Jordan is a 10yr old homeschooled only child. That makes life easy for an asperger! LOL Anyway, shes a great kid .. very honest and loyal. smart and funny, very conscientious of the rules and all. Actually I dont think she has broken a rule since she was 4. She wont even go in the out door.

I dont think I realized how much I am tailoring her environment to her needs until her caregiver came to me with a list of 'this is not normal' and suggested that we have her tested for something in the autism spectrum. the usual.. lack of eye contact.. generally plays alone.. flips out over every little thing.. cannot handle change, transition, or others not agreeing with her..

So while we are struggling at home with a lot of arguing and bad attitude if everything isnt just so it is worse for her caregiver. She is homeschooling with another family for about the past year. Her and Jens 3 children. There she is very explosive and unpredictable. We have made some changes that are helping wonderfully but if she cannot function well in her current situation I dont know how aspie kids manage in more 'normal' settings. She literally has 2-3 hours of school work in a small group with a great 'most patient woman on earth' type of teacher and then home where she can veg alone if she wants..

I'm sure questions will come up as we go along.. she is in the screening process not but she has all the signs. A brilliant caring little girl who seems to be socially and emotionally still 4. I'm sure she is going to be fine though. She has always been my fighter. She also has juvenile arthritis and insulin dependent diabetes and is being screened for aspergers and sensory processing issues

Michelle K.

Best wishes for you and your daughter, in the future.

Does she display any repetitive behavior?

Does she have any strange interests? (dates, lists, etc.)

Does she flap her hands or move in somewhat odd ways (figits, etc.)?

It's not really a 'strange' interest I suppose but she is obsessed with wolves. She knows everything about them and their behavior, writes shorts stories about them, has calendars, pictures, draws them, and follows several wolf packs in various places like yellowstone, etc. including the packs history, the names of the wolves etc

repetitive and odd movements is yes but mostly under stress.

Normally she may move awkwardly from time to time or be a little repetitive but nothing that sticks out. The main thing that sticks out is that she is incredibly slow and I dont just mean a dawdler I mean sloooowww.. thats what everyone always comments on. LOL

When stressed or frustrated or upset she will push at things walk in a tight circle around an object or me, fidget and do odd things, she spins, taps things, bites things, makes unusual faces, yawns when nervous or uncomfortable, she stretches and gets into odd positions sometimes when she is more stressed.

She sounds like a great child. A common saying you'll find in the AS world is that for many people with AS, the AS itself isn't an issue at all. The issue is other people.

If the people around her can learn how she thinks, some of the arguing should go away, and I think you'll come to understand that what you perceive as bad attitude is something different entirely.

And ... normal is overrated

Sounds like you have a wonderful aspie girl there!

Thanks everyone! She really is a good kid .. just very high maintainance.. LOL I've said for years that she is the most challenging well behaved child I have ever seen.

squirrelflight-77,

She sounds nice, and DOES sound like she has AS. She sounds much like I was. If so, she is DIFFERENT. That doesn't mean she has ANY less capability. Just treat her like she deserves to be treated, and show respect, and she will probably be fine.

Steve

I was like that at 10 also except for back than, my parents would constantly shame me for "being a brat and embarrassing them" as no one was aware of AS. To this date, they still insist that I brought on the bullying I got from my peers on myself.

I sure wish you had been my parent


Allie Kat
http://www.myaspergerslifestory.com/

Hugs for you alleycat.. I wish your parents had taken the time to understand more.

We have made a few changes that are working well for the time being and she is happier and more relaxed and its funny but what helps the most is just talking less. No more explanations. Just clear specific instructions. And we've put in a lot more routine and structure.

We have a counseling appt set up and an OT appt set and should have an appt for a screening for aspergers, etc set up soon. so progress is being made. and I'm reading parenting your asperger child and it's a good read.

I'm fine with her being different .. I've always known she was different. I just want her to be happy and this year she is increasingly unhappy. Aspergers or not you cannot be grumpy, irritated, annoyed and frustrated with everything all the time and be 'happy'. She is who she is and I dont really care if others 'get' her or not. The bottom line is she needs to be happy in the real world with who she is.

That could have described me at that age, too.

What stands out for me is that she follows rules all the time. There are various subtypes of AS and one of them is called "Rule Boy". It describes a child who, because his/her world is so unpredictable to him/her they revolve everything they do around the "rules" to help them cope with their life.

Hi Bethorama! Yes! I read that book too and I can see parts of her in all the subtypes but the rule boy, OCD, and the defiant ones stuck out the most.

She is sooo specific on rules that after a full year of her caregiver having an issue with not being able to get Jordan to just hush no matter what she added it to a written list of rules that when she says 'stop talking' you stop talking and this has not been an issue since. It's amazing how somethings that work are so simple and would never work for a NT kid just work magic for Jordan.

I think that may be very helpful in the future that she is so ridgid about following rules. My son was/is fantasy boy and my daughter is anxiety boy. From what I understand she has no coping mechanism yet so she is a mess. Rules, fantasy, ocd etc are coping mechanisms. I know she has it now, but I couldn't see it for years, even with having a son with it.... Because she makes eye contact and seeks the attention of others. But all the rest of it is AS stuff... I wish "stop talking" would work with her. She just goes on and on and on and on....