Homeschool vs self contained class for autism

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Here's my dilemma in a nutshell. My son B is diagnosed pdd-nos/adhd, but unofficially dx aspergers. He is very high functioning-for the most part seems NT to others that don't know him well. The only option the school board gives us is mainstream with no support or self contained autism class. I know putting him in mainstream with no support is only setting him up to fail or struggle for the most part so I don't want to do that.

We tried the autism class last year, but out of 8 kids, none functioned close to his level and his behavior went downhill. They were for the most part low functioning, constant meltdowns, if they had speech it was scripts that they learned (not spontaneous) or echolalia which I think really confused B. His aggressive behavior worsened as days went by and he was going crazy from the constant crying, screaming, whining and repeating in class. When it was recess he would spend time with some of them though and he called them his friends despite the in class problems.

Homeschooling this year was easy for me to do. B is extremely bright and teaching him is almost effortless. But...he's lonesome. B's social issues are more of the "social faux pas" area. He desperately wants to have friends but is socially awkward and lack of social rule understanding (make sense?) creates tons of problems. He's 8 now and the differences are becoming more noticable with his age group than they did when he was younger. At least at that school, there would be a better understanding and he'd have kids he could call his friends, even if they didn't have a lot in common. That's one thing about my guy, a child could have a third eye coming out their head and he wouldn't care, he would just be happy to spend time playing with them.

If I want him in school to have friends, I'll have to go back to the problems we had last year and I just don't know if it's worth it. I'd have to risk him becoming aggressive towards the other kids and teachers again and constant time outs.......

Has anyone been in the same boat?? I want what's best for him, I just don't know which option that is.

Have you considered looking for a homeschool group? There are groups of parents who sometimes get together to collaborate on or just discuss homeschooling stuff. And their kids, who are all roughly the same age, get to know each other at the same time. I was never homeschooled, but many of my friends were and in some ways they are closer to each other than they would have been had they been friends in public school.

The biggest problem I've seen among my homeschooled friends is only present in the ADHD ones who had unstructured homeschooling: they're terrible at managing their time. But that's one of the things a homeschooling group is designed to avoid.

There aren't any homeschool groups or anything like that here. I'm in a very small town, and I (or anyone else I know for that matter) have never heard of anyone homeschooling in our area either.

You might want to consider extracurricular activities such as the Boy Scouts, karate, music lessons, etc. to expand his social awareness.

There should be a lot of metaphorical real estate between no support and being treated same as any other kid in the class. Have you explored this? Accomodations, services ... The things my son had in his IEP. He was mainstreamed without a personal aid or anything like that, but he was given what he needed.

I do realize Canada is different but hopefully not THAT different.

Otherwise, there should be some creative ways to fill the perceived social void while still homeschooling. Harder where you live but where there is a will ... You know what they say

I am not concerned about having him socialize out of school as far as joining groups etc. What I was wondering was if we placed him back in the class with other kids that don't fuction at his level, would that hurt him as far as progress goes. He just really wants to be back in school and it's so sad. He hears his 3 sisters talk about school and things they do with their classes, fun pyjama days, what games their playing in gym, field trips... and he just wants to go back.

We have been fighting the school board for quite a while on this, we would prefer him mainstream with EA support, but they won't give that. We put him in mainstream he's on his own. Our school system is going back to the old ways of separating the kids, not integrating them. And as far as autism goes in Ontario, they are giving out tons of money for services, schools etc. It's really amazing. But the school board here will only use that money for the one school. So in there eyes, they are offering him tons of support, just on their terms. Anyone with an ASD diagnosis belongs there and to them that's final. The good thing is the classes are small, they have at least 2 EA's plus the teacher for about 7 or 8 kids.

I am just not sure if it will "hold him back" progress wise.

I think what Sillyputty was suggesting was to homeschool hiim and then put him in some extracurricular activities for the social aspects. How's that?

Yes, I would prefer to homeschool him. But he really wants to be back in school.

Has anyone put their child in a specialized class only for it to do more harm than good?

I couldn't imagine my son in the special autism class. That class was on our elementary school campus for a while and those children were an entirely different ball of wax educationally than my child. It would have driven him nuts to be placed with them and it would have hurt his self esteem. And that was for a wonderful class with wonderful kids that the elementary school embraced whole heartedly. But this was not, by and large, an on grade level class, and my son needs INFORMATION, that is what he goes to school for, that is what he thrives on, and not a cool sensory room with a slow paced curriculum.

That said, we do have a private special needs school here that would probably have worked for him just fine. It very much conforms to the unique child, and many of their kids are very bright.

So ... you are going to have to visit this place. I think your district is taking the wrong approach and I would consider FORCING them to do something more, using whatever laws you have in Canada. And re-examine what you COULD get if you mainstreamed; individual EA's aren't as important, in my opinion, as everything else in a class (trained teachers that know how to handle AS, kids that help and accept, appropriate accommodations, etc).

Schools have come so far. There was an assembly at my daughter's school last week and it started to get loud. A little boy up in front covered his ears and started to cry. A teacher - not even his own teacher - picked up on it, sent another child to fetch head phones, and then gathered the child and directed him outside until he was ready to come back in with the headphones. All simply quietly done, matter of fact. Watching that child I'd bet anything he was spectrum, and it was comforting to realize there were so many eyes in the room ready to take care of him.

Thanks Dw a mom, you seem to be the voice of reason on here, I've read many of your replies to others. I will keep plugging along and hopefully figure something out or be able to come to a common agreement with the school board.