More problems in school

Post Reply New Topic

Well, my son is right back at it, the first day of school, he got suspended for hitting a teacher, that was last week, I spoke to the principal, and reminded him of my son's needs, and he told me that, "when he's out of school, the police won't care if he has an IEP" basically labeling him as a criminal. Today I got a call from the school stating that he'd hit another teacher, but they were going to keep him in school, zand call the police, again, this has to be at least a dozen times they have called the police, he's only 7, and lacks the hand eye coordination to hurt anybody. I find it assinine that they resort to this.

The school set up an IEP on the assumption that his only problem is ADHD, the district "psychologist" refuses to believe any diagnosis but her own, although we have 2 doctors that have made the same diagnosis of Aspergers, depression, ODD, and ADHD. So we've gotten in contact with the local advocate, and are going to have them attend the next IEP meeting with us, we've requested another one, in writing, so they don't have a lot of time to drag their feet.

If it weren't for my son needing the social interaction that school provides, I'd consider home schooling.

dude when they call the police on a 7 year old....the blindness you exhibit is astonishing.
the damage done by being in trouble by the police at age 7 outweighs any social interaction.
keep himn at home and stop making excuses.

Advocacy and ADA aside, that school looks incapable of providing a safe, productive learning environment for your son. I am dealing with the same issue with my 6year old. But we are dealing with autism only and no one has mentioned "police" yet. They accept the dx but are not clear about what they are doing or what they are willing to do in their school.
With the right adaptation, he should be able to sit in class and socialize with the rest of them. But they haven't been very proactive.


7 years old? They aren't detaining him anywhere, I hope?

How much social interaction is your son getting really? With the police being called??

There are lots of BETTER ways then school (the worst place for "social interaction") to get your child socialized. Roller rinks. Swimming at the Y. The playground. Organized community activities. You name it.

The FIRST time the police were called on my child I'd have been up at school demanding to speak with the superintendent. Then I'd go to the school board. This is the *school's* issue, not your son's. He's too young to be a hardened criminal. Your school needs to face up to the issues, understand they are REQUIRED to work with you, and get the help your son needs.

aspiesmom is wise.

You have to stand up for your child because he's too young to stand up for himself. Obivously what's going on at school right now, isn't working and it needs to change. You say that "he's back at it" but that seems to imply blame on him when he's showing you and everyone else that he cannot function in his current environment. When my son was in an awful place with no support at school, the best thing I ever did was pull him. He felt safe and provided for and his emotional well being was the most crucial part of his life that *I* needed to try and repair. When some healing took place, then I could worry about socialization and now he's so much better than what he was. It sounds like you guys are at a crisis point and something drastic needs to happen. Your son needs your protection and you need to stand up to the school. I know how hard it is. Been there, done that myself.

ugggh thats is horrible and unexcusable what is the name of this school or school district?? I think you should get the media involved on this one, whenever a school gets bad publicity thats a real kick in the ass for them. They state usually comes down on them pretty hard after that.

Yes, I don't see how the socialization that takes place in school could ever be considered a good thing, especially considering my own experience. School socialization, for anyone who is the slightest bit different from "normal", is a thing that will instill a deep resentment against society and reinforce any inclination to self-isolation. My "normal" cousins were home-schooled and are way more socially successful than I'll ever be.

Take a moment to look at the "social interaction" he's getting at school... being driven to the point of hitting teachers, having the police called on him at such a young age ... it is heartbreaking. Remove him from that school immediately and homeschool till you can find a different placement. Socialization with the queen of england herself is not worth having the police called on a 7 year old (and you said this happened last year... so 6 year old).

Does he hit you, at home? Remember that you should not tolerate being hit, even by your son.

There can defintely be alot of positive socialization in homeschooling - sometimes they even overcompensate and do too many activities. There are a few homeschoolers on a group by us that are just busy bees. So, it depends on if you have a really active homeschool community by you regarding the socialization stuff.

But really though - this school is hanging out the unwelcome mat specifically for your son and what kind of effect is that having on him. Besides not feeling welcome (or even tolerated) at the school, he may even begin to withdraw if he starts to think this is how the outside world behaves.

as a parent who needs to work full time and can't even consider homeschooling, i understand the need to have you child in public or private education........he's obviously not functioning, and the school needs to stop blaming *him*. too much structure ? not enough structure? not enough down time? who knows???? get thee to an advocate ASAP !

Something similar happened to my son last year. That school has terrorized him to the point where the only means of self-preservation is to lash out. If they have him so stressed and anxious that he can no longer protect himself by any other means than violence, then he's got to get out of there.

Adults shouldn't be allowed to torment and terrorize children. Find the laws for your area, find an advocate, talk to others in the area to get leads on where to go to start protecting your child from the emotional bullying and torment at that school.

"Police don't care if he's got an IEP" - what nonsense! Police shouldn't be used to intimidate and terrorize a 7-year-old child either. If that school is so poorly organized and staff so poorly trained they need to call the police, then perhaps they shouldn't be there.

I have to say I agree with the responses to the original post. The staff and administration of that school are not capable of providing your son with a safe enviornment in which to learn and based on the police comment, aren't even willing to try. To me, that comment could be interpreted as saying that they don't care about accomodating his IEP, even though legally they are obligated to. I hope that was pointed out to the advocate in addition to the other problems.

I also agree school is the worst place for socialization and I could tell you some stories. If I used what I learned in school about socialization today, I probably wouldn't be able to keep a job very long or I'd be in jail. The forced conformity and forced socialization of the school enviornment don't prepare one for any form of healthy social life and in fact, I know this was the case with me, actually encourage the student to withdraw from socializing.

I'm sure there are other opportunities for your child to socialize other than school, you just have to find a couple that will work for him. The best thing about these activities other than school is if they don't work out or prove healthy for him, you are free to take him out and find something else alot more easily than taking him out of school.

I agree with the post that says to get him out of there. If you are able to homeschool him, start doing so ASAP. As for socialization, he's probably had alot of damage in that area and needs to recover from it. Get him on the road to healing from that pain, and then worry about helping him socially.

Good luck.

It seems a shame the staff of a school cannot come up with a way to help a little 7 year old boy. Is there another school you can try?
They don't sound very competent to me.

Looks to me like your son doesn't need social interaction. Like, I probaly would've been better off without it. All I learned from the social interaction at public schools, is how to hate myself. Seems if the teachers feel that they are right in doing something as immoral as threating a 7 year old with an arrest, they could care less about your son's well being. In fact, they might just go ahead and make things worse for him. Take him out of the school.

I've re-read 2fifty8's post again, and I'm a little confused.

It states the police were called "a dozen" times!! It also states they were being called again - what does this do? What actions do the police take? Handcuff him? Threaten him with kiddie jail?? No wonder he's depressed and has ODD.

And if in all honesty, as you say, socialization is the only reason for keeping the child in school (and not the fact that like so many other parents across the world you love leaving them in someone else's care all day to train them and teach them) then do so YESTERDAY.

I'm the "NT" one in our family, but the "socialization" I got in public school about put me off people altogether. I have worse social skills than my husband, who has an ASD dx.

ok would be refusing to send my son to school.. and then when they cart me off to JAIL then someone will get the picture. if it is this bad NOW then it will be worse as he grows older.. do something NOW... don't let them do this to you.. call your local autisim society.. call your local social services and have them come into your home and rule out the problem is not in your home. this is what they are trying to do.. label you and your home as the problem that is brought into their school.. i could assure you that I would not be so passive.. I would have my face all over the news stations making sure that everyone knows that the school has failed my child.. not have my face on the news because I was carted off to jail because I lost it on someone in school.. stop letting them make it your FAULT.. if you need to home school then so be it. I know its very hard for a lot of people to take the time from work and live on 1 income.. but i would do it.. do what is best for your child.. this kind of social interaction is not what your child needs.. they need to find out why he acts this way in school. over the top stimuli? make the whole bunch of bafoons get their act together.. they can not igonre the dr's findings.. they must do what they are paid to do.. and like I said my face would be all over the 6 pm news...