The Tooth, the hole in the tooth, and nothing but the tooth.

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Our Youngest, at three, is barely talking. He understands beautifully, and is very good about doing what he's asked (albeit much LESS good about NOT doing what he's told NOT to do....), but one thing that we've never had any luck with is tooth brushing.

He was, for a while, fascinated by Eldest brushing his teeth, and would insist upon carrying a brush around. But Youngest flatly refused to let us brush his teeth, or to do it himself, despite our many efforts. The best that I could get was for him to brush MY teeth, which he found hilarious, but my attempts to return the favor led to piercing screams, flailing limbs, and my counting my fingers to make sure they were all still attached.

Last night, I noticed that a few of his molars are looking decidedly ungood. They're not bothering him -- he'd tell us, if they were, as he's recently become very good at telling up about pain. And demanding kisses to afflicted areas.

I've called the dentist, made an appointment, and they're aware of his issue and know how to work with them. Likely involving sedation at some point, unfortunately, but that's a little ways off.

But! In the meantime, I clearly need to start tooth cleaning procedures. Any suggestions?

If I ask him to open his mouth, and keep it open, he will. Anything going into the mouth, however, causes the shrieking to begin. I got the brush in for a few seconds last night, and I *think* that I was able to brush one tooth before he pulled away. So there's progress, at least.

But my lord, that kid has the Stubborns. Real bad.

It is important to impress good dental hygiene habits, but you may want to back off for a bit. His resistance could intensify. The ultimate goal is that he have these habits when he gets his primary teeth.

To be honest, I got a laugh out of it too!

Have you tried explaining what's going to happen and asking his permission first? "Okay, now I'm going to brush your front teeth - just the outsides - okay?" Start with a couple of teeth, make it a fun game instead of anything threatening, and that might work.

Don't know if your trip to the dentist will help but it did for us. We have a fabulous pediatric dentist. She explained to DS about the "sugar bugs" that hurt your teeth if you don't brush. He brushes without much fuss most of the time now, though we never experienced the level of resistance you are describing. Anyway, DS talks about how proud the dentist will be of him because he brushes his teeth so well and this seems to be a good motivation for him.

I'm hoping that will help, but with his speech delays it's so difficult to tell whether or not he's taking it in. He's great with concrete instructions, but I'm never sure how Youngest is absorbing more abstract stuff, since he can't give any real feedback.

Asking him how school is going, for instance, is fruitless. He just tells me "Bus," which means either "I rode on the bus today," or "We sang 'Wheels on the Bus' today." I only found out about the latter by talking to his teacher. Conversation is still beyond him, and at this point we're delighted that he's finally starting to use *words* to ask for stuff, rather than shrieking at us.

(We've got big hopes for school; he's only a month in, though.)

You need to be aware that there can be a ton of sensory issues related to tooth brushing, and you are going have give recognition to those while also selling the whole thing about brushing. You may also have to experiment with brush types, tehniques, and paste types. Even though you aren't sure what he hears, talk each piece through, and show LOTS of patience.

We've got some previous threads on the topic so you might find some creative ideas in those.

are you using toothpaste? my little guy will brush with plain water, but absolutely refuses if there is anything else on the brush. we have never been able to use even toddler toothpaste or bubble gum flavors.

novelty toothbrushes help us with all our kids. the spinning ones, ones that flash lights.. its even better if they get to pick it out.

My son will only accept a vibrating toothbrush(I guess it tickles, because he giggles the whole time), and it can still be a struggle to get him to open up to get the back teeth.
Maybe let him pick out his own toothbrush at the store??

My parents pinned me down, to be quite honest, until my mother realized my issue was partially with the tooth paste. It was too strong for me, and the tooth brush was too rough for me.

I'm not sure what your son's issues are exactly but I do know they have all sorts of fancy dental devices for children. Perhaps he'd like one of those electric tooth brushes or something like that.

Mine is just about to turn 3 and doesn't have much of a grasp on language. Brushing his teeth has always been a struggle but it's just one of those things I won't budge on. To help make things easier I brush his teeth in front of the television so he has something to distract him. He always bites down on the brush and tries to take it from me, it's a wrestling match every night but it gets done. I sit with him on my lap and use my free arm to keep his arms down. He thinks it's hilarious when I open my mouth so I do that when he's biting the brush and when he laughs I can move it again. Sometimes singing or talking to him continuously throughout helps a little bit. When I'm done brushing his teeth I give him the toothbrush in hopes that he'll try brushing his own teeth. (About once a week I have to go on a toothbrush hunt because he has a bunch of them and he hides them all over his room). Novelty toothbrushes help a little bit too, I found some Snoopy toothbrushes and those get a smile out of him.

My son who's now 12, used to be just like your son. I did however manage to brush his teeth very quickly though most days.

By age 8 he was having root canal work done and had a mouth full of cavities and crumbling teeth then fillings and extractions.

I was given a tooth brushing chart for J, it has instructions with pictures on exactly what needs to happen. My son also has sensory issues when it comes to tooth brushing. We have been threw every type of tooth brush you can buy he has tried all the tooth pastes out there. One thing he would do though is to rinse and gargle a watered down not so strong mouth wash.

Now J my 12 year old goes threw days and weeks at a time when he will brush 8 or more times a day(he also has ocd), that first tooth brush in the morning though is always a problem, he is always resistant to it.

I was just thinking will he let you use the corner of a clean face washer? Either you or him could just use some luke warm water and rub it over his teeth and gums. Turn it into a game, do it in the bath. Another thought it's not ideal though is to give him a couple of pieces of apple or carrot after a meal then a cup of water that he can swish around in his mouth and spit out.

I can't think of anything else at the moment, tooth brushing problems suck and they are tricky to over come. Good luck

I am 34 and I hate brushing my teeth and I unfortunately have cavities because of it, but for me the biggest problem is 2 fold
1...the toothpaste burns my mouth because the mint flavor is so strong that it phyically hurts me.
2 the brushes are too rough, so I switched to so softer brush

However I have found that sensodine does not have a really strong flovor which is the only one I can really tollerate
crest and aquafresh are the worse offenders as far as strong flavor.
the arm and hammer toothpaste while not burning my mouth...has an awful gritty texture and sour taste
the bubblegum stuff just taste real bad...although does not burn...it does make me slightly nausious.
thats about it

A nurse I knew used a small cotton-wool tipped swab dipped in a specialised mouthwash (I think it was Corsodyl, which is chlorhexadine based) to 'tickle' round the teeth and gums of several children in her care who had severe issues with tooth-brushing. She said it wasn't a substitute for brushing, but for her to attempt to brush their teeth would have involved the sort of restraint and force that borders on abuse. The mouthwash she used helped prevent gum disease and the build up of plaque on teeth.

I'd check with your doctor/dentist before you try this, as I'm not 100% sure that it was Corsodyl she used!

Chlorhexadine isn't for long term use. It causes unbleachable tooth discoloration and a small minority of people are allergic to it.

My daughter really doesn't like brushing either. We've settled on a compromise amount of toothpaste and the occasional mommy brushing to get what she doesn't. The best motivation is that she loves Lightning McQueen and his silly smile. So we remind her she wants Lightning McQueen teeth, not Mater teeth. Actually, most of her issues are resolved by using Lightning McQueen as a motivator, now that I think about it...

Whoops! Sorry, looks as if I must have mis-remembered the name of the mouthwash - unless the nurse decided discoloured teeth were preferable to decayed teeth!