Need schooling advice from both parents and Aspie's
Hello-
My huband and I have presented with a decision that we must make in the next few days and I am looking for some advice.
My son is 10 yrs old and in the 5th grade. He has been having some issues with organization and such at school this year. His morning teachers said that they don't see as much of a disconnect as his afternoon teacher. We are thinking that some adjustment needs to be made with his meds.
At the end of last school year he tested for our local gifted school and scored high, but not high enough to make the first cut. He did, however, make the top 5 people on the waiting list and was invited to tour the school with the others. He was majorly disappointed that the few friends that he does have made it into this school and he did not. They have excellent programs for kids like him and several other children with Asperger's attend this school. His IEP would follow with him.
Well, we received the phone call Friday from the principal that they have reached his name on the list and he is being invited to attend. My question is this: I am a bit apprehensive to send him there given his problems with school thus far. He will already be at a disadvantage since the year has already started, but if I deny him this opportunity then we will never know if it is a good mix for him.
He has to do his part to keep the grades up and turn in the work. If he does not then he will be basically kicked out.
So, in my situation, what would you do?
Thanks again for any advice as I have to call the school Monday and he could start as early as Tuesday.
If your son would like to why not give it a try? I apparently had the opportunity to skip a couple of grades but was considered very shy so it was thought better that I didn't. One thing to consider though is that there probably isn't going to be an "ideal" either way. If his friends are at this new school and his IEP will transfer that might inspire him also. And too maybe the fact that he is upset about his friends going to a different school may be effecting his performance at this current school also.
I think that you should send him. I know that there can be issues, but most of the time kids learn as much (or more) from failure as they do from success. My son failed a class at Northwestern University's summer program for gifted students due to his disorganization. It taught him that he needed to find ways, and accept help, to get himself organized. Unfortunately, he is never allowed to return to the gifted program at Northwestern because he failed a class. Harsh consequences, but true to life. Most times, as an adult, you don't get a second chance.
My advice is to make sure that there is something in his IEP about his disorganization so that they can't mark him down for lost assignments or whatever (just make him re-do the assignment). My son's accommodation states that he can turn in the work the next day for a little bit less credit, but then he can re-do any assignments that he is not happy with the grade. He can also do extra credit work to improve his grade. My son is in high school and I didn't want him to have the "free pass" of no consequences for his disorganization. I know of IEP's that do have a "free pass" for organizational issues. So it is not unreasonable to ask for it.
I spend a lot of time checking my son's folders and making sure he has put his assignments where they belong. He also has a planner that goes back and forth from school to home that lists his assignments and there is supposed to be a detailed description of the assignment so that I can understand what it is he has to do each day. (This is new and has not been implemented yet.) It takes us parents more time and effort to have our kids in school (or gifted programs), but they are learning life skills that are worth the extra effort. My son just returned to school after homeschooling for 4 years. Believe me it was way easier to homeschool him!! !! I'm really hoping that all of this extra effort will pay off sometime in the future.
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