Breaking Stuff

Post Reply New Topic

My 6-year-old breaks toys. Not accidently, but in ways that I can tell he had to work at it. Then he hides them under his bed or other places. Sometimes he will also snip at his blankets or clothes with his kiddie scissors, which has led to them being confiscated numerous times.
The thing is, often he really likes the toys he destroys. When I find them and ask why he did it, he says he doesn't know and he doesn't want me to throw them away. He asks if I'll buy him another one, which of course I won't.
The weirdest part is, if I buy him a toy and say, "Now be careful and don't do X, or it will break," I can guarantee that X is exactly what he will do within five minutes. This is the most frustrating part, because I know he likes the toy and he's not in a bad mood, so why the destruction? I think maybe he just doesn't believe what I'm telling him until he tries it himself.
I don't know if this is an Aspie thing or just a kid thing. At Christmas he got a toy bug that walked, and pulled the legs off the same day. Is this normal for boys, normal for Aspies, or just plain weird?

My 6yr old used to do this too at about 5yrs of age. He never got scissors unless I was with him. He is always with someone so when he starts getting destructive, we know about it before he ruins something.

That's my best advice is to not leave him alone for any longer than you can until you break this habit. Maybe make sure he's not ever bored. Plan activities for him. I have a list of activities my kids can do during free time. They are free to change their minds anytime. But I think that just knowing that we have something lined up next has been helpful for my son. My NT 7yr old too quite honestly.

Edited to Add: I can now have my son out of my eysight for up to 1/2 hour and he's fine. I'm a SAHM now so I don't really ever need to do this. Nor do I want to, but on occasion if I want to catch a snooze on the couch or something, I can. Ssssshhhhh..

I used to break my Barbies like crazy. I liked my Barbies, but for some reason I wanted to take them apart. I can't tell you if it's normal, just that i did it

Now one bit of advice....When talking with your child, always tell them what then to do instead of what not to do. So instead of... "If you pull the bugs legs off, it wont work" ,instead maybe say "be sure to protect all the moving parts so your bug works well".

I always say, "walking feet" when kids are running and I want them to walk instead of saying "don't run". When they are tipping their chairs I will say, "all four on the floor please" instead of "stop tipping your chair".

With all kids, even NT, it is sometimes hard for them to replace one idea - so if you say stop running....what are they replacing the idea with? It is a much simpler one step to just say hat you want.

Now, there is another train of thought that would say ask a question....How can you take care of your bug.....

You should speak to a doctor about this. It could be related to something neurological, but that would best be answered by tests done by a doctor.

My friend's child, dx ADHD, does this EXACT same thing. He breaks toys on purpose, right in front of his parents or other adults and cannot explain to them why he does it. It honestly seems as though he is obsessively interested in discovering how much force it will take to break the toy. And once it is broken, he is sorry, not like sobbing or having a tatrum sorry, but obviously somewhat regretful that he has broken the toy. He does not appear to connect the cause (I just bent the airplane wing until it snapped) with the effect (the plane is broken and will not fly anymore). I got nothing as far as understanding it or preventing it, just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.

I used to do this as a kid and still kind of want to do it as an adult. There was also sometimes destruction for the purpose of play, like rather than just make crashing car sounds when they ramming hotwheels into each other, I would hit them with a hammer to cause real dents.

Part of it was not recognizing what I was doing would have consequences, I didn't always realize what I was doing would break the object (even when I was very clearly focused on it's total destruction, I just didn't think about it). I'd never think about how I would feel to not have the item, but afterwards would sometimes hate myself for breaking my own things. I think the main thing about it is curiosity, every plastic breaks in a different way, every rubber stretches and snaps in different ways. It seemed like the only way to learn anything about the world was pull it apart myself. If your kid is anything like me you'll want to watch him when he is a bit older for signs of burnt finger tips and notice when someone is trying to cover the smell of smoke, as I found breaking things with fire was a part of this.

I'd hardly ever break lego pieces except when modifying them for a specific use. Plus a broken lego here and there isn't nearly as expensive as a whole toy going down. It might have something to do with legos already being in pieces, and breaking them apart is part of it already.

My son is very destructive its very diffucult to try and change/compromise this behaviour any suggestions very welcome. My son is just very strong handed!! Any thing he touches he breaks it causes unnecessary difficulties! but its a problem for the family.How do you over come this!! !

I actually think this is totally within the range of normal although, as with many things, the phase may be more intense when AS is is involved.

My daughter likes to cut things up so much that for a while we saved all sorts of stuff simply for her to cut up.

Lots of families save broken electronics and toys for kids to take apart. Some kids are curious, others like the physical action, some have trouble connecting that doing A really will ruin the toy.

And for the valuable or special items .... keep them out of reach.

Pay attention if this seems to be something happening more when he is upset or stressed. If it is something he's doing to deal with anger, you will want to work with him on finding a more appropriate method; destroying his own things in anger is emotionally costly in addition to the financial aspect.

I don't know if it was an OCD thing or what but I was always the opposite. Everything always had to be in perfect, new, pristine condition. If it broke, I always wanted to replace the item. My mom says when I was really little I used to have tantrums if something broke.

I'm still like that...I try not to crease the binding on paperback books, for example.

my oldest, aspie, never did this and was always good with his toys. my two youngest, one autie and one mostly-NT-with-traits-of-adhd-or-ocd, do this ALL THE TIME. for my autie, its often just a matter of not knowing how hard he is handling something, or he just wants to manipulate the object; he is very tactile and is always handling objects. for the NT, its mostly experimenting with cause and effect, ie how far can i bend this before it breaks, and its quite common with him. if you ask them why they did it, both will say they dont know. and its not just toys, oh no. its EVERYTHING. toys, household items, things off my desk. every freakin crayon that enters the house is doomed. i now only buy crayola twistable crayons as they cant break those.

i have gotten upset at my 39 yo SO, also autie, before for taking one of the kids' toys and breaking it into pieces, an action figure they had just gotten the week before. he didnt know why he did it either!

i have already acknowledged that i cannot own anything nice, as the three of them are always breaking things.

^ I have also discovered the twistable crayons. Before that, we used to keep a shoebox full of new boxes.