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realy need a friendly advice

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mamamoo
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25 Jul 2011, 12:57 pm

does anyone have similar situation:
14 year old aspie stays in all day, cannot sleep at night, but if you want to talk to him, he gets rude and very angry and hostile. we got medication - risset, i don´t know ih you call it the same(risperidonum type) but after a week we don´t see progress, he walks around the house talking to himself, and he is very afraid someone is going to break in the house (boys from school) and force him to talk to them or even "beat to death".but he realy pushes us away.should we just wait?leave him and wait him to ask for help?he is very difficult to be around, he acts very selfish, tells you all the awful words he can remember,he ruined most of his t-shirts,and broke a phew things in his room.he has realy heavy body odour, ok he showers but still, it makes everyone else norvous.please, any suggestions?

love to all, mamamoo



MotherKnowsBest
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25 Jul 2011, 2:45 pm

Sounds like his anxiety levels and teenage hormones are overwhealming him I'm not sure what to do. One thing I use with my daughter (17) though is written communication. Facebook or email or something. It sounds daft, being in the same house and sending an email, but it works because it takes the emotion out.

(((hugs)))



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25 Jul 2011, 4:06 pm

You need to tell us when the "attitude" started, when it got really bad, and also when he started his new meds.



mamamoo
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26 Jul 2011, 4:20 am

OddFiction wrote:
You need to tell us when the "attitude" started, when it got really bad, and also when he started his new meds.


well, it started about three month ago, after history competition when he was 2., which we thought was a great result, but unfortunately, he missed 0.9 percent to go on further level. it was technical little problem but his professor still didn´t decide differently.now he thinks that even his final grade is lower (it´s not, itśexellent).he blames us, his professor, other kids...
he started meds a week ago, ok maybe it needs some time...at first he got zyprexa, psychiatrist said it is the best you can find but he had a terrible reaction. we had to stop imediatly.then he was without meds until now, but he only stays in, and acts as i described.it is summer, anyone who can is on holidays right now inour country, and we realy don´t want to pull him all around without any professional opinion.

love. mamamoo



Ettina
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26 Jul 2011, 10:12 am

Quote:
we got medication - risset, i don´t know ih you call it the same(risperidonum type)


Risperdal?

If that's the med he's on, be aware that it can cause a side effect of incredible restlessness, known as akathisia.



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26 Jul 2011, 10:26 am

Some aspies (me) cannot differentiate between minor and major issues. Rigid thinking means it's all or nothing. Some aspies (me) cannot function at all if there is an unresolved major issue in their head. It blocks out all reasonableness and turns them into a raging torrent of aspieness as anxiety levels go through the roof (me).

Could this be what is going on with your son? The minor injustice of the competition has taken over his head because to him it's massive, the end of the world.



DW_a_mom
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26 Jul 2011, 10:27 am

He sounds depressed, like he's giving up, and your second post makes it sound like a normal reaction to something really frustrating. Med's are better for chemical depression, than reactive depression. I would not rely on them in this situation, just based on what I'm reading here.

Our kids have to spend a lot of time digging in their heals and working harder than everyone else seems to have to. They do it in the belief there will be a pay off. When that payoff doesn't come, they question how all of life will play out.

Our kids are taught to rely on their gifts. When those don't get rewarded, they wonder if the gift is as real as mom and dad said.

And so on.

He needs to talk with a counselor, and he needs to learn that one defeat, even four or five defeats, is no reason to give up. But it can be really hard with AS - kids with AS tend to grab onto an assumption, one path, and hang onto it. When it doesn't work out, they can not integrate the idea of any other path.

It sound like that test knocked him into the gutter next to the path and all he can see now is gutter. The turn off a little ways ahead - he can't see it, much less believe he can ever reach it.

Patience, and something to give him a victory, seem to be in order.


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26 Jul 2011, 12:35 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
He sounds depressed, like he's giving up, and your second post makes it sound like a normal reaction to something really frustrating. Med's are better for chemical depression, than reactive depression. I would not rely on them in this situation, just based on what I'm reading here.

Our kids have to spend a lot of time digging in their heals and working harder than everyone else seems to have to. They do it in the belief there will be a pay off. When that payoff doesn't come, they question how all of life will play out.

Our kids are taught to rely on their gifts. When those don't get rewarded, they wonder if the gift is as real as mom and dad said.

And so on.

He needs to talk with a counselor, and he needs to learn that one defeat, even four or five defeats, is no reason to give up. But it can be really hard with AS - kids with AS tend to grab onto an assumption, one path, and hang onto it. When it doesn't work out, they can not integrate the idea of any other path.

It sound like that test knocked him into the gutter next to the path and all he can see now is gutter. The turn off a little ways ahead - he can't see it, much less believe he can ever reach it.

Patience, and something to give him a victory, seem to be in order.


I could not have said it better

as far as the drugs go, xyprexia and riporedal are NOT anti depresants...they are anti-psychotics which are powerful and dangerous and should only be used with severe bipolar or schizophrenia. I had a nearly fatal seizure on zyprexia and both of those drugs can cause type 2 diabetes. His situation is enviromental not really bio chemical. Whoever put him on that needs to have their head examined.
But he needs to experince a victory, however small to get his faith in life back.


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30 Jul 2011, 11:20 pm

Can't a kid with AS just be a normal horrible teenager once in a while without being put on antipsychostics or other medication?



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31 Jul 2011, 9:48 am

mamamoo wrote:
and he is very afraid someone is going to break in the house (boys from school) and force him to talk to them or even "beat to death"


Is there a possibility that he's being bullied at school as well? I think this might be a factor to look into - he may not be able to articulate it, but you might ask the school to be on the lookout for it - if he's 14 and not grooming himself properly, sadly, he may be considered a target.



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31 Jul 2011, 11:32 am

Chronos wrote:
Can't a kid with AS just be a normal horrible teenager once in a while without being put on antipsychostics or other medication?


Obviously not...I dont get these doctors and I sometimes wonder if a lot of them get paid off by drug companies to push their medications. Why has Risperdal (an anti psychotic) become the "drug of choice" for Asperger's kids? I have put up a few posts about this already. When we lived in the US last year I was at my sons social group and all the mothers were talking about their sons Risperdal levels and that maybe they should be raised, ect. and I was quiet so one asked me what dosage my son was on and they were all shocked when I told them that my son was not on medication that he had Asperger's not Schizophrenia. Half of them didnt even know that it was an anti psychotic and most of them did not know the side effects....scary!