Asperger's,Dyspraxia or both?

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Hi i am new to the site and would appreciate anyone's advice,experiences etc. My daughter who is 13 is due to have a dyspraxia assesment next month due to having difficulties tying shoelaces,telling left from right,cannot ride a bike cannot skip,gas trouble with scissors,cutlery etc.
Since she started nursery at 3 we have always been concerned.Her teacher said she had selective mutism as she did not speak at all in the first 6 months,we were not told of this until after 6 months.She started to talk but very little mainly just yes,no and nodding.As time went on she saw a school psychologist who said there was nothing wrong with her.She had to have a special pencil to help her write as she couldn't put enough pressure on a standard one.She struggled socially,got invited to lots of parties but never spoke.As she got older other girls lost interest because she would not initiate any talking,couldn't keep a conversation going.
Anyway she is now about to enter year 9 with very few friends her main friend has aspeger's and her mother and i do all the social planning as if it was left up to them they would never see each other and when they are together the silence is painful for my husband and i to watch.They seem quite contented to be together but hardly speak.
Other children at her school think she's a bit weird as she still doesn't say much and not really into all the teenage stuff and takes what they say literallly and never knows when she's being made fun of.
She is obsessed with books and animals and spends all her time at home reading and she will tell me the same facts over and over again.Loves collecting information and facts online and talks monotonously about our pets.She doesn't recognise when someone is bored with all the info,is oblivious and continues rambling.
The school think she is just quiet as she doesn't cause any trouble but her work in art,cooking,woodwork and p.e. are suffering as she struggles with her motor skills and also many of the friends she has made can't be bothered with her,as in primary because she finds it so difficult to interact socially with them.She goes to dance class and guides but never has a proper friend.
The doctor has referred her for a dyspraxia assesment would they pick up anything else or do i have to go back to gp about suspected asperger's.Sorry for rambling on but i am so worried about her as she seems to not really progressing with anything,academically or socially.Does anyone think she could have asperger's?Any comments or advice would be gratefully appreciated.

Aspergers and dyspraxia, or other motor function issues, are often co-morbid. It was actually trouble learning to write that led us to the discovery of my son's AS, because our school felt they couldn't do anything of substance (like OT) to help him with the writing issues unless they could identify a condition that was on "the list."

Your daughter could also have hyper-mobility, or loose joints, which seems to be the co-morbid condition that causes my son's writing issues. But, I haven't found the exact diagnosis there to be all that important. Getting the accommodations and an IEP was the thing, really, for us.

Everything that has to be done with the hands is difficult for my son. Tying shoes, using the hand break on a bike ... everything. But since we've know about it since he was 7, and knew he wasn't going to simply be able to practice his way into acquiring these abilities, he's had a lot of time to learn work-a-rounds and adapt. He is now fully keyboard proficient and has an IEP that allows him to type anything and everything. He has an amazing artistic eye, and a perfect sense of proportion, but can only draw rough; so if he's working on a team project, someone else will take over over that. For years we replaced all the laces on his shoes with the bungee laces triathletes use. And so on. He knows what to do himself, and what to seek help for.

I am very glad that you have a doctor now willing to look into these questions, as it must have been very frustrating for your daughter. My son was checking out and giving up way back in first grade, before he had a diagnosis, and knowing that it wasn't his fault, and having something we could put in front of teachers to prove he wasn't dumb or weak or lazy, changed everything.

i think there could be real value in having an assessment done for autism spectrum disorder, whether or not this would be looked at with the dyspraxia assessment i simply dont know. you would be better off having someone who is very experienced with asd handling any asd assessment tho. several things you describe are typical for autism, such as the inability to initiate or sustain conversation, literal interpretation, missing nonverbal cues, special interests, lack of social interaction.

my 5 yo autie has always been selectively mute to varying degrees. as a toddler, he learned verbal language but refused to use it even at home. we would routinely ask him to say things and he would always tell us no. this went on until he was 3, when he started using a few phrases. he didnt actively begin speaking a lot until he was 4. he speaks much more typically with us now, altho with autistic traits such as difficulty initiating or sustaining conversation. with his peers at school he is still selectively mute for the most part. he will talk to teachers, but he only speaks to the other children if he is correcting them over something he perceives they are doing wrong.

i feel confident that your daughter is much less bothered by the lack of conversation with her friend than you and your husband are. in fact, she is probably just fine with it. autistics often need a different level of socialization than most people, and are quite often content with much less conversation and socializing. sometimes that is from feeling awkward or uncomfortable doing it, but sometimes its because they simply want less. your daughter is plenty old enough that you could just ask her how she feels about it.

Our centre tests for developmental disabilities of all kinds really. After pre-assessment, it gives them an idea of what to look for. Then a specialist does their assessments based on what the pre-assessment showed. Kind of narrowing down a diagnosis.

Thankyou for all your replys.It would be great to have a diagnosis of one sort or another so i can say to the school this is why her grades aren't good for certain subjects not because she's not trying.Also the social thing is of a great worry to me and my husband.She loves seeing other children but never asks them to come over or go cinema or anything she always waits to be asked and that is getting less and less as she's getting older.She had a birthday recently and 6 friends turned up for pizza and cinema which she loved.A few weeks later it was one of these friend's birthday and every friend was invited except my daughter.I was fuming and upset and as usual she made excuses for them.She doesn't see the bad in anyone,which is probably a good thing,and thinks everyone is as kind as polite as her.I know some of her 'friends' laugh at her because she's not 'streetwise' or doesn't get their jokes and during these long summer holidays not one of them hasn't bothered contacting her.The only friend she has seen is the one with asperger's and that is only because her mum and i organise it.She tends to regress a bit when not at school as she doesn't have the other children to set examples.She is already a lot younger i would say than most 13 year olds,more like 9 or 10.I know there is no 'cure' but if she did have a diagnosis maybe she could get some sort of help.

Hi Mikkibell

Your daughter sounds really lovely. Apart from the dyspraxia and struggle with schoolwork, she reminded me a lot about myself as a youngster and I'm anything but gullible these days and I don't think I actually was then either. Kids used to say things to make fun of me. I knew exactly what they were doing, I just didn't understand why they thought it was funny. For example, they'd say things that weren't true (and often quite sick really) to see if I believed them. As I didn't say, 'That's a lie', they thought I believed them, when in fact I was just thinking how stupid they were to say something like that. Maybe your daughter understands more than you realise, although I understand what you're saying about her trusting nature.

I have a similar concern about my daughter. She and the boy next door get on really well. They're both on a waiting list for autism assessment (strangely both have probable Aspergers, definitely coincidence), he has obvious dyspraxia and she's quite the opposite in that sense, but her AS is much more apparent. They are so different and the same too, in a strange way. She's slow to get her shoes on as she's too busy thinking about / looking at/ doing other things; he's slow because he can't manage to get his hands to go the right way. He has a social phobia and she's very outgoing (more than most kids can take), so both have a lack of friends. They are both really intelligent and doing well at school, but both are struggling with the social stuff. ASDs can affect kids in so many different ways.

Good luck with the assessment

She sounds A LOT like me as a little girl and I was diagnosed with AS, although I would probably qualify for mild dyspraxia.

BTW, if she has a friend she can be silent with, that's great. "Talking" is painful and finding a friend who understands and appreciates interaction sans vocalization is a treasure.