Meeting with school

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My son's first day back, positives he seems to have enjoyed it, didn't want to go this morning but when I picked him up all good.

Negatives had a meeting with the school, 6 other people Principal, year head, special needs co-ordinator, resource teacher, Department of education physiologist and OT from local services. They had a meeting with another parent before us, I think we were the after thought.

Left meeting feeling nothing has changed from last year, The principal seems to think he will settle in and its to do with last year as it was his first year. My son has had problems since primary school. The OT from the services her input was insufficient.

My son has 5 hours a week resources and the school feels that he doesn't need to use all the hours because it will be counter productive. Academically my son does well but as a parent I feel if his resources are used positively this will improve greatly. What the school isn't realising is that my son has comprehensive difficulties and he gets lost very quickly which adds to his already high anxieties of every aspect of school, social skill, communication, locker room, smells, noises, crowds etc.

I have been advocating for him to have accesses to the local services hoping this will help him in school and that it might actually help the school to understands his needs.

I have suggested home schooling to him and he is against this, moving him to another school I can't see any benefits as I would be very familiar with the local schools.

Again its because my son doesn't have any behavioural issues and can mask his anxieties the resource teacher picked up on this but they still don't seem to think there is a problem, they are aware of his suicide threats, self harm, him going back and forth to the services, him having panic attacks at school, going to the bathroom alone crying etc. His trigger is school summer holidays other than a child with AS, ADHD, OCD manageable. When at school all becomes unmanageable.

Unless I am totally confused they seem to think he will settle in.

Yuck! He should definitely get that five hours. Poor kid seems to be anxious rather than aggressive, so they can ignore his suffering.

Good luck with it. I get the feeling he gets lots of love and support at home.

J.

Annamaria,
I think with the school you have to make it clear that once he gets upset, it takes a long time for him to recover. At least this is true for my son. He doesn't have the luxury of people doing experiments on him. Your school has set your son up for failure. Helping him recover will cost the school far more than preventing the damage in the first place.

Can you figure out why he is against homeschool? If you are willing to homeschool, he can't come up with a good enough reason not to! His school suffering is totally unnecessary. The timing seems all wrong but I would take him out of school for a few months and go to museums and field trips. They call that deschooling. Ease in to homeschooling one subject at a time. Make it all fun and geared toward his interests. My 10yo son is learning computer programming, for example. I know it sounds simplistic but nothing can be worth all that anxiety at school. He can't be learning well. I don't remember how old he is but many aspies learn independently. You don't really have to teach much, unless he is really young and you need to teach him to read and do early math.

My son is 13yrs old

I completely disagree with aann. At thirteen he is old enough to decide where he'd rather be and if he chooses public school, please leave him there. I say this as one with Asperger's who begged for three years to be switched from private school to public and was finally transferred for the start of eighth grade. I could easily list the reasons why I wanted switched and he should be able to list why he wants to stay. As an adult I can understand my parents' reasons for what they chose, but as the child going thru it, I believe it would have been much better for us both if they'd just listened instead of thinking I was just a child that hadn't really thought it out even when I presented well-thought-out arguments.

I would ask that you please sit down with your child and really listen well before deciding to pull him out against his wishes. It sounds like the school could be doing more and I think that'd be a better battle than going against his wishes.

I agree with you totally, I also don't think moving to another school would change anything it would be only moving the problem. My son last year was refusing to go to school most days, what's positive is that they are aware of his anxieties and my son knows this. He is also just starting new meds for OCD I will have to give this time.

My daughter last year was doing state exams the pressure the whole family was under and of course including my son was just horrendous. I am looking into home schooling and having a plan B but would only use this if we all agree.

Second day back to school and he seems to be happy was refusing yesterday but came home happy wasn't refusing today and came back happy. Hope this is the way for the future.

I really have no advice. I think for now you are best just riding, seeing what is happening, trying to assess if there are any new needs or problem areas. Anxiety is difficult for anyone outside of the person affected to help with. Your son has made a brave decision to tackle it head on, and I applaud him for it. You wisely have a backup plan, and it sounds like you are going forward with eyes and ears open. Since you can't just magically get a more sensitive team at the school, not sure there is much else to do at this point.