Teachers! Grrrrr!

Post Reply New Topic

Since joining WP a few weeks back I have learned loads about asperger's it's been so helpful as I am now able to talk to the teachers at my son's school with more authority.

But our special needs teacher is completely convinced that my son (my son is 12 yrs old) needs help to improve his co-ordination. She just sees a child with asperger's and seems to think that's reason enough. My sons co-ordination is amazing, he skateboards, cycles (I have already sent in a post about my sons cycling abilities) and has learned to shoot an air rifle and is a crack shot.

I have to be honest, he does walk in a funny way and is all over the place when playing and doesn't look as though he is someone with amazing co-ordination, but given something to do like skateboarding and he is able to focus and concentrate and is as skillful as anyone else.

But recently his special needs teacher told me (quite forcefully) she wanted to send him to occupational therapy to learn how to skip! I said no! Now a part time teacher is joining the school specifically to help my son and two others to improve their physical abilties and co-ordination.

Sometimes I just get so frustrated that his abilities are not recognised, he is just seen as a child with AS. Is there anyone else out there with similar problems? Sometimes it seems I'm fighting a lonely battle with these teachers!

Why don't you video tape him skateboarding and show it to the teacher?

My problem is quite the opposite. I have coordination issues but these are not readily apparent and I've been accused of dallying or not putting effort into something when I was really doing my best. And then when I can finally convince someone of my coordination issues it becomes an issue of patronization and attempting to correct misconceptions in the other person's head.

That's a good idea, if the new teacher doesn't recognise that he has good co-ordination that's just what i'll do.

My older son, who is currently being assessed for asperger's has bad co-ordination, but because he is very accademic the teachers are blinded to the fact that he needs help, and he has been accused of being slow or lazy even when he is trying his best.

Moved from Love and Dating to Parent's Discussion....

She doesn't like his walk and figures that so called "therapy" will cure it. If your child can skateboard and ride a bike, coordination is not a problem. My daughter is not fluid when she walks but has excellent balance when she rode a horse, so I know she can focus when she has too. Stay strong. If bloodletting was still fashionable, she'd have you doing that too.

Yes, because skipping is a vital part of being a successful person! hahahaha. Crazy. Obviously your kiddo has lots of talent when it comes to physical things, so don't let this teacher push you around.

I just want to gently put out there that we thought our son had no issues with coordination either - he is very wiry and can dodge/move in ways that most other kids can't. He rides his bike well and scooter too. When we took him for an OT consultation to assess his sensory issues, we learned that copying motor movements were incredibly difficult for him, especially if he could not see his body part that he was supposed to be moving. For example the OT had him put his hands up beside his head in fists. Then she showed him that she wanted him to slowly open his fists one finger at a time, while not looking at his hands. He had incredible difficulty doing this, even when looking at his hands. As parents we were shocked, because we did not ever expect that motor movement could be an issue for our son. It all relates to proprioceptive movement and how we perceive our body moving in space.

This identification was critical for us to communicate to the school because they then needed to make sure they gave our son lots of physical demonstrations of things they wanted him to do that he previously refused (because he knew he had difficulty) - things like waving your arms in circles, which we all think shouldn't be too difficult, were a challenge for my son. Taking the time to break it down and let him observe, made him more successful in the imitation/copying of motor movements.

Obviously I do not know you or your son, I just thought I would share our experience with this, as we were very surprised ourselves by this.

cutiecrystalmom(sorry, I thought I was logged in under my user name, but my husband has surprised me by joining wrongplanet with his own user name lol)

Verinda....4 weeks ago I would have agreed with you, but I've changed my mind the last 2-3 weeks!

To make things even more interesting...I AM AN OT MYSELF! I was convinced that my son had NO motor planning or coordination problems...He is great with skateboarding....can almost do a kickflip and he just turned 8 yr old! He rides a bike, exct. BUT....the thing is...I was so surprised when I sat in on the assessment with the OT and saw how anxious my son became when confronted with activities that his body didn't know! Like it came out, but I suspected it, that he has terrible vestibular insecurity, so he avoided certain movements since early age...this caused him not to gain certain 'building blocks" that he needed in new more complex movements as he grows older.....

She also observed that he has great musscle tone and good postural strenght, but that his endurance was a bit poor, causing him to become tired while doing desk activities, causing poorer handwriting!

I can go on and on...All I want to throw in here is that, I hear what you are saying, BUT so far....from all the therapies this OT assessment was worth every sent! If you do the assessment you might have nothing to loose but you even might have something to gain?

My son has only been at the OT for 3 sessions, and it's wonderfull how his selfconfidence has grown...She also helps him with exploring new words to describe how movements make him feel...She also helps him with becoming aware of how his "inner enchine" feels, for sensory integration...teaching him selfregulating techniques, ect.

Hope this helps a bit!?

Well, yes actually that does help.

I think maybe he does have difficulty with those sort of movements. But I have always wondered if they were really that important especially when he absolutely hates any kind of assessment, he has a habit of making an instant assessment of the teacher or person in charge and if he decides he doesn't like them that person will get no where with him! It makes things very difficult as you can imagine!

Reading your post, lovelyboy and the last one, sorry I don't remember your name, makes me wonder if we should give OT a try.

Happily his writing has improved quite amazingly this term and he is delighted with himself about this.

I know how it feels if your child has anxiety regarding assessments! My son first said its ok to do the assessment and on the day of the assessment he just said: No I'm not going!! !! I first got angry, but then asked him if he was feeling anxious...he started crying and said yes he was....so I decided to sit in on the assessment, and this was a wonderfull experience for both of us! Especially to me, to see how he was doing...I did first contacted the head OT and said that I prefer an active, sporty type of personality, because my son does not do well with the 'smothering-mothering" type of therapist....This helped alot, because then we could get the 'match' better.....The OT was like playing to him, he loved it and it was a big struggle to get him to leave the assessment...

Now he can't wait for the next OT session....

If you can find a good SI qualified OT , she can be of great support to you....! HUGS

Thank you Lovelyboy for your help.

I'm glad things worked so well for your son. My son really does hate things like OT. He's flatly refused to go to speech therapy anymore, although his speech has improved greatly, thankfully. During his diagnosis he saw the psycologist once, she was lovely and tried her best with him but he wouldn't play along and she had to give up!

Oh well, i'll have to think about OT and what to do.

I'll echo what has already been said, OT can be great and they work on things you might not, or at least I certainly did not, think of at first. The personality of the therapist and fit with your child is very important. Ours is wonderful and quite frankly the one medical professional that has been the most help to us. Others here have not had such great experiences so as usual, if you decide to try it go in with an open but questioning mind. You don't have to believe everything they tell you but you also want to be open to that nugget of knoweldge that might come your way!

A teacher should not have the right to force you to do anything you do not want to do with your child...especially something that is not directly related to the school cirriculum. What does your son's coordination have to do with reading or math? Or even with social skills for that matter? Tell her you are the one in charge of your son, not her, and you do not feel that is necessary at this time. This should be your decision. If she doesn't like the way he walks, that is her problem. Lots of people walk differently, and your son seems quite capable in his coordination, so--unless this is something he WANTS to do--I would put my foot down and demand that your wishes be respected.

I've been reading the latest posts on this subject and thought i'd share some of my experiences of school with you all.

My husbands brother, who is self diagnosed AS was considered so useless at school that he was put in a class for no hopers and not allowed to take any exams, (he's in his 50's now so that was quite a long time ago). He left school feeling totally demoralised. But his lifelong focus was electronics and now he is a teacher, teaching apprentice electricians in a college and very happy with his life.

My own brother (who isn't AS) was a total disaster at school and left with zero qualifications, teachers considered him absolutely useless. He ended up feeling hopeless and my parents despaired of him. He is now a highly paid television producer.

And my husband (who has AS tendencies) well his co-ordination at school was hopeless, he couldn't play football because he couldn't kick the ball in the right direction, he always avoided sports because he couldn't run fast. Again he left school feeling useless and demoralised. But after school he joined the army and became one of the fittest and fastest in his rank.

I'm just saying that I am reluctant to send my son to OT when he really doesn't want to go, and maybe, if he does have some unseen problems with co-ordination it will work itself out in time. I don't want to make him feel demoralised when his self esteem is really quite good at the moment, and my husband is dead against the idea of OT anyway.

I am of course delighted that it works for other children and great if you are lucky enough to find an OT that's right for you and your child, i just don't think it would work for my son and if i'm wrong then I suppose it's something i'll have to live with.
And I also want to say that if your child is struggling at school not to worry too much, there's always hope for the future.