1st IEP - what do I ask for?

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I have a 9-year-old boy with Asperger's. He is in a private Montessori school where he has been since he was 22 months old. He really wants to stay there because he knows everyone in the school (about 150 kids total, with about 75 in K-8th grade), and he has made some friends. He has one good friend who is only a few months older who also has Asperger's. They have known each other since they were about 4. The staff adore him and are willing to work with us as long as we can get his behavioral problems under control.

He was suspended 7 days into this school year for throwing things, destroying things, and then hitting/kicking a teacher who tried to move him out of the classroom and to the office. Events like this generally occur because he is frustrated or anxious.

We met with the public school district last year and had him evaluated. At that time, he was thriving in the private school and he did not meet the criteria for needing any help since his educational performance was fine.

We are meeting with the school district again next week to re-open the case since he is now struggling in school. I am trying to get some ideas of what we can or should ask for from the district.

Diagnoses:
Asperger's
ADHD
mood disorder
deficit in written expression
gifted in math

Our goal is to try to keep him in the private school as long as he is doing well there and he is not causing problems with the rest of the class being able to learn.

Montessori is very much "work at your pace" - which is perfect for my son. He can do math 1-2 grades ahead, reading 1+ grade ahead, and writing 1-2 grades behind his age. Since everyone does whatever lesson in each subject they are ready for, he does not feel any stigma to being "behind" in writing, or any pressure to "perform" in math. The classroom is less structured. For example, in the mornings from 8-11, the children are expected to find materials in the classroom to work with to practice lessons they have been given. The teacher works with small groups, or 1:1 giving new lessons while the rest of the students work independently. This gives my son the ability to work on what his brain is ready to handle at the time. When he is more stressed, he can work on math which he finds relaxing and soothing (1+1 ALWAYS = 2 is calming for logical brain). He is able to get up and move to a different work space if he needs to. As long as he is doing appropriate work and not disturbing other children, he has freedom to choose what to do and where.

His biggest problem right now is anxiety. Montessori doesn't give homework until 4th grade. Plus, they have multi-age classrooms (1st-3rd and 4th-6th), so he is having to adjust to a new classroom and new teacher after 3 years with his old teacher. He has known the new teacher since he was 22 months old, but that isn't the same as being in her class every day. Also, 1st-3rd grade, more emphasis is placed on learning to read, now the emphasis changes to learning to write. Since that is somewhere that he struggles anyway, it adds even more anxiety.

When he gets anxious, he will start to cry (almost every day and school, and multiple times a day at home when I mention homework). As it gets worse, he will totally meltdown and be unable to speak or hear. He sometimes will also get angry with it and throw things or destroy things.

Until we could meet with the school district, I decided that I would make adjustments to his homework. I talked to the teacher and we agreed that the most important things for now was that he be able to be in class, participate in group lessons, and not disrupt his classmates. Homework assignments are getting done based on what he is able to do without making himself totally sick. He has been complaining about stomach problems for the past 3 weeks (school started Aug 1st). I have had him checked by the pediatrician to make sure there is no underlying medical cause, but we think it is just that he is in an almost constant state of anxiety.

I don't want to make HUGE adaptations for him, since he is high functioning enough that he should be able to learn to adapt to the world rather than expecting the world to adapt to him for the rest of his life. My husband and I also both have Asperger's and we have both learned to adapt fairly well (in very different ways). But, I want him to be able to learn and be successful and I don't want school to be a miserable place for him. And, especially until he can learn some better ways of dealing with anxiety, we need to reduce it.

So...now that I have given you WAYYYY too much info (part of my AS - sorry), can anyone out there help?

I don't even know all the possible services the district can give us, or which ones he should get, and then, how often? And, trying to get services, while staying at a private school, is even more complex.

Any ideas are appreciated.

thanks!

First, what state are you in? Some states will arrange for speech and/or OT while you remain in the private school, others (like CA) give zero services if you are enrolled in a private school.

When you ask for the IEP, ask for speech and OT evaluations by the district. Submit reports from all your independent testing to the school. Hire an advocate or educational consultant to help you determine what to ask for and how to increase your chances of getting it. You'll probably want a social skills group, speech therapy to address pragmatics (voice tone and volume and the ability to have a back and forth conversation), possibly OT to address the writing issues, possibly OT for sensory issues. If you decide to go back to the public system they'll probably need to ask for a Behavioral Support Plan.

You might want to seek help from a private therapist (not sure what kind) to work with the Montessori school on how to handle and work on his behavioral issues if he stays there.

I would find a trusted ABA therapist to help identify why behaviors are occurring and to help set up behavior plans for the school. There are many things that the school and teachers can do to support him and help him work through his anxiety. I think having that "behavior" pair of eyes and insight would be useful.

The written expression issues will probably need to be addressed by an SLP (speech and language pathologist) who is skilled in this particular area. Your son may need speech and language services for pragmatics, as many kids do, but that is entirely different from the services he needs for written expression, and the person who can provide the service may or may not be the same person. It absolutely MUST be a separate time frame. While his school may be emphasizing writing a great deal more at this point, you may need to work with them on allowing him to demonstrate his knowledge in alternative ways: powerpoint presentations, oral exams, multiple choice/matching/short answer tests ...

As to homework, many, many kids on the spectrum have a great deal of difficulty with homework - the concept as well as the reality of it. It may be necessary to limit his homework, either by the amount of homework (number of minutes per day) or the subject matter. At this point in his life, it may be too much for him to be able to come home after a long day at school and spend more time, "his" time, on subjects he actively dislikes. For instance, maybe he can do math homework but not writing homework.

When you are thinking about the accommodations you are planning to seek for your son, you need to consider several things: your son is not you or your husband - he is himself. What you or your husband did or didn't need will not really dictate what your son needs. Also, what he needs now, as a nine year old, will not dictate what he needs for the rest of his life. If he gets the help he needs now, he will be more likely to learn what he needs to learn, so he can handle things better as he grows up - just like all people do. Another thing you might want to consider is how much schools have changed since when you and your husband were students. In general, schools have become much more stressful, much more competitive, and much less accepting of individual differences. Because of these things, kids seem to need more accommodations than ever - things that used to be part of "just normal good teaching," are now "accommodations" provided only when a child has an IEP, a 504, or a truly exceptional teacher. On top of all that, the amount of homework the kids get these days has skyrocketed!

You know your child best. When you meet with the school district, make sure that they don't try to deal with anxiety by removing all academic challenge (some do). Addressing anxiety is difficult - they need to look at what actually causes the anxiety and how to lessen it. A functional behavioral assessment might be appropriate for looking at dealing with behavioral issues, and a positive Behavioral Intervention Plan might appropriately be put in place. Don't agree to any behavioral plan that isn't a positive plan, though. If the plan is based on punishment, negative reinforcement, etc., it will increase your son's anxiety and will increase the problems.

Two things jumped out at me reading your post: homework, and writing. My son really struggled with homework for a number of reasons, one big one being that it blurs the lines of the nice little boxes he liked his day sorted into. Definitely take this slow, and ask for parental permission to cut the homwork for full credit. There are some other strategies we used, too, like timing out the work, that can help. But I'd rather write all that up if I can find more time .... And am not typing on a phone.

With writing, I would give serious thought to co-morbids. It is also a multi-task process that makes it a struggle for many AS kids. This was the issue that drove the cart to an ASD diagnosis for my son, and I could write a book on it. But first ... What does your son say about writing? What is his grasp like? And how do his responses change when they have to be written, v when they can be delivered orally?

Thanks for the input.

We are in AZ - we should be able to get services and still stay in the private school.

As far as the writing issues - I have been trying to break down all the parts to it - and I realized that there are a LOT of things going on to be able to write.

Thinking of what to write - This can be an issue - if there is a clear answer like "what is 2+2?" it is easy. But, "what is your favorite food?" can leave him bewildered. There suddenly isn't a "right" answer and there are too many possibilities.

Keeping the thoughts in his head while he gets them written down - there are some struggles here also with some ADHD issues.

Spelling - this has long been an issue for him. He worries about spelling things perfectly. Up until a year ago, he wouldn't even try to write anything if he couldn't spell it properly. He will write some words incorrectly now, but he still really wants it all perfect, to the point of wanting someone to help him spell everything rather than being willing to write independently.

Handwriting - He seems to have decent fine-motor skills. He can do some needlework. However, I am noticing that he writes very slowly because, again, he focuses so hard on perfection.

Capitalization and punctuation - probably age appropriate issues here.

We have found that he is much more able to tell an answer than write it. So, I do work with him sometimes and I will write his answer and then have him copy it.

He does very well looking at a word and telling us if it is spelled correctly or not, but not at coming up with the spelling himself.

Does this help determine what type(s) of services he should get?

My daughter has the same writing issues as your son. She has the typical handwriting problems common with dyspraxia and also a processing disorder in writing - dysgraphia. One of the tools we use to help her go from thought to written word is also taking dictation and letting her copy it. It gives her a sense of accomplishment that - yes - she can do this just not the same way everyone else can. Because of her wirting disability we are exploring assistive devises in the classroom this year (4th grade as well) including typing and possibly voice recognition software. She does get 1:1 assistance in test taking.

A psychoeducational evaluation through the school district should be able to determine all of these deficits and make appropriate recommendations to address them. If your son's outbursts in school are related to anxiety and frustration, there definitely needs to be a meeting of the minds with teachers, therapists and any/all other educational support members. Address the causes of his anxiety and frustration and you can allievate them and bypass outbursts. While he may need more structured therapy in recoginzing his feelings and apropriate ways in which to express them, it IS a two way street. If a simple, small modification can improve the environment for your son, they should be looking for it. It may take a team effort to identify what is triggering him. At his age, he may even be able to tell you specifically what gets him so worked up.

The transition issue can be so tricky and touchy. We do alot of pre-scripting with our daughter, preparing her for what changes may come as soon as we know about them and remind her of them often so when they do happen she is a bit more prepared. I don't even want to try to imagine presenting her with all the changes you have described, in a single blow, with no preparation. Homework, new teacher, changing schedule, all new expectations... She'd be a wreck! We always review 'the game plan' for any change in the daily routine no less than a day in advance. That may not help now but is is never too late to warn and reinforce even when they are saying 'mOOOOOOm, I KNOW!"

Luckily, even though it did kinda start all at once, the Montessori school method is to start having children transition in the spring so my son started spending a few hours, then one day a week, then more and more time in the new classroom even before the end of last school year. So, he did get a chance to "get his feet wet" a bit with the new teacher. But, it is still a LOT of new things at once.

I will admit that I didn't walk on eggshells around him at the beginning of the school year. I just let him start the new year as if things were all pretty much status quo. I knew that he would likely struggle, but we all needed to see where the struggles were to be able to help him. If I coddled him too much the first week or two, we wouldn't get a clear idea of the problem. I was willing to do that because I knew he was in an environment with people who really know him and care about him. Also, the kids in the class are all very nice and when he has a meltdown, the hardest thing is to get them to all leave him alone and not try to comfort him and get in his space. I hoped that the transition would go better than it did, but we needed to see the issues.

That is part of why I really want to keep him at the private school. I have spoken to 2 different special ed people at my local district. They have both told me that if I moved him to the public school that they would put him into a regular classroom and "see what happens". I know the goal is for the least restrictive environment, but if he is having so much anxiety that he ends up crying on an almost daily basis at a place that is like a second home to him, I can't imagine what the anxiety of going to a HUGE school with not a single person he knows. A teacher with 25+ other kids doesn't have the time and ability to deal with a child who cries or hides under a desk every time he gets stressed. And, she definitely can't deal with one who throws things when he can't calm down fast enough. He is already depressed and talking about wishing he was dead. I just can't imagine what things would be like if we turned his world upside down that much. But, I don't really want to see him with ED kids either. Where he is, he is mainstreamed, but in a very "safe" environment. He is not bullied or teased at all. Almost all of the kids have been with him for at least 3 years, and many for 6+ years. They all really accept him and care about him.

> Does this help determine what type(s) of services he should get?

Absolutely! I have a very similar dysgraphic Aspie son, almost 11. If you look up dysgraphia, most info is for small motor deficit issues, but from the sound of it, most of your son's issues are mostly processing/memory based.

So as accommodations, we have a scribe for anything more than about 10-15 word answers (about 2 sentences). We have tried typing, but even that wouldn't work. I suspect that eventually we'll go the speech-text route for school, to give him more independence and control over his written output, until he finds his own way. He's already developed some of his own shorthand for writing homework assignments - his responsibility this year.

One of our IEP accommodations is to have communications and assignments from the teachers be in writing - homework, due dates, changes in when weekly reading logs were due. Julian could remember to either bring the homework home, or what the assignment was, but it would take most of the year to remember to bring both of them home and was receiving demerits for not turning in HW. This year, he has to write the homework down, but the teachers have to sign a daily log that they checked to make sure it's written down.

In our district, they use "whole language" teaching in language arts, so they no longer explicitly teach or even grade for spelling, which I hate. Similarly to your son, Julian knows when he misspells words and had gradually accepted that the spelling doesn't need to be perfect, as long as he can get those thoughts out. He is responsible for dictating capital letters and punctuation however, when he dictates to a scribe and he's been learning to use the spellchecker at home, when I scribe for him. We had huge perfectionist issues, especially when he was younger and first started writing - he would erase letters so hard that he would go right through the paper and then hit himself in the head because he couldn't do it and then the whole paper was ruined and he would just start erasing everything else on the page! This was pre-diagnosis and as we've all taken the time to really understand why he was having difficulties instead of just demanding that he, "Just has to do it!", as he had one teacher demand, the perfectionism has dramatically decreased. We haven't needed to ask for it yet, but you could ask for content to be graded separately from grammar and spelling, unless it's a specific assessment for grammar and spelling.

Our school has been using Kidspiration with Julian too - http://www.inspiration.com/Kidspiration which definitely seems to have helped with organizing thoughts. I haven't ever used it here, but I do remember someone else from WP recommending the adult version as well. At the beginning of last year, we (teachers, ESE teacher) were convinced that they wouldn't give us a scribe as an accommodation so we were working very hard to set Julian up to at least be able to score *something* on the standardized writing test. Without a scribe he was scoring 0. With a scribe he scored a 5 out of 6, one of only three in his class.

DW_a_mom has written lots of great things here on WP about her son's experiences and successes in this exact area.

Elizabeth

I'd say sign up for anything that might help, then back off stuff as you realize it's not necessary or he learns new coping strategies. It's all very well and good to want him to function without accomodations, but the accomodations provide support to learn the skills he'll need - if he's bursting into tears out of anxiety, he's not learning anything useful.

Also, as an adult you have a lot more options than the average kid, and many things you need an IEP to get as a kid are things you can get as an adult without anyone batting an eye. For example, in elementary school I'd get homework every day, but as a university student I get on average one paper per class to write over several months. You also get more choice about the topic, and the paper must be typed rather than handwritten. I never could finish my homework in elementary school due to anxiety, but in university I'm usually done in advance. Another example - in elementary school, calculators were forbidden, whereas in university math classes they are required.

I just checked my WP blog and some of what I would write here is in there. The blog is a mess, though; just a copied post to one particular parent and not formatted. But, it gives a start. I know there is a much better post out there by me but I have no idea how to find it among my thousands of posts!

It sounds like you actually have a good start. The basic process is to break the functions of writing down, letting your child learn and focus on one step at a time. Step one is learning to formula the thought, what he wants to write. Step two is putting structure to that thought. And so on. Your son's roadblocks (sounds like perfectionism, anxiety, and processing issues) are a little different than my son's were (severe hypotonia/disgraphia/hypermobility) but the process for overcoming it will be pretty much the same: segregate the function so that the components can be individually mastered.

At your son's age, I really like scribing as an accommodation. Scribing puts a live person in between the child and the paper, and that live person can also help your son learn to filter and organize his thoughts: give him some direction on how to start answering the prompt. That live person can also get a sense of when to do the work for the child, and when to encourage him to "take a turn." But, schools have limited resources and that has to be taken into account. We were really my son's primary scribes; at school he worked through a variety of methods, including tape recording, oral response, shorter assignments, and taking home the work instead of doing it in class. If there was a volunteer in the classroom at the right time, THEN he get some scribe assistance at school.

Hopefully that is enough for now. I've got to get to my paid work, I'm afraid.

Oh my! The LAST thing I wanted to do was to imply anyone should walk on eggshells. Our method of prescripting is very matter of fact. No baby talk, no condescending to her intelligence and certainly no coddling. Good grief - she'd give me an earful if we did any of that!

Your son has such a supportive environment - is he able to recognize when he is building up to a meltdown and does he have a safe spot he can freely go to when he identifies that feeling? That, more than anything, may prove most useful to him. My daughter is in public school and spends 80% of her day in the regular classroom. She takes tests in a different room to minimize distractions and to get the writing support she needs. So far bullying has not been a concern. Our districts anti bullying campaign is aggressive, clearly stated and followed through.

It does sound as if your son needs some assistance getting his anxiety and depression under control. At his age - 'wishing I were dead' is a disturbing sign. It sounds as if he needs some immediate intervention. If his inability to emotionally regulate is the issue of his distress, therapy can help him to some degree. He can learn to identify and control his feelings. I can imagine always feeling so emotionally out of control would erode anyones self esteem. Throwing things in the classroom is not okay and that is certainly one amazing school for accomodating that in the general classroom.