Teacher of AS child- your advice?

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I'm a primary school teacher, and have a 7-year-old child in my class who started this week who has Asperger's (recently diagnosed).
Obviously, I've sat and talked to parents, and we've got an IEP up and running, (and I have AS too) but I could do with your advice telling me what I really need to know.

If your child's teacher asked you, what would you say?
What questions do I need to ask the parents? What strategies can I try that work?

Thanks!

Is there anything that makes your child anxious?
What is comforting to your child?
What are your child's favorite things?
What do I need to know?

Since each person with AS has different issues, I think it's just important to ask what is important from their perspective. The few times I have worked with someone with ASwho was working with my child, I have found that they forgot that the child may have different things they are rigid or anxious about. This actually caused problems.

For instance my DSs 4th grade teacher could not bear for there to be paper on the floor. My DS when trying to prevent a meltdown would tear paper. This was very stressful for the teacher who could not wrap her head around how my DS could need to do that AND that she needed to let him.

BTW - this is on of my favorite teachers ever. She also taught my NT 16 year old when he was in 4th, and was just delightful. I brought up the above issue just to illustrate how the rigid thinking can cause a bump in the road.

As a parent, the things I want my daughter's teacher to know are:

Signs that she is under stress-for my daughter it is chewing, flicking her wrists, or becoming mute and withdrawn. My daughter won't ask for help or express her fear/discomfort so an aware teacher is able to step in and help

Which leads to: Ways the teacher can help my daughter decompress/calm down-each child has their own comforting activites and things they respond to like a fidget, or a walk to the bathroom, or some time with headphones or ear plugs

The ways she learns that are different from "typical"-for my daughter she needs visual images to reinforce the learning. It might be walking her through the first problem, or physically showing her what to do, but simply telling her what she should do does not always get through.

Things she needs "extra" help with-for my daughter this is reading but some kids with AS are talented readers that struggle with maths-my daughter is the opposite. So finding out what their strengths and weaknesses are is important. If the teacher did not get this information she might think my daughter was reading the books she checked out of the library instead of just looking at the pictures.

And then above all I have expressed to each teacher to allow my daughter to be herself-this seems like common sense but you can't imagine the teachers who have tried to bribe her or implement positive reinforcements to get her to socialize with other kids or talk in front of the class-both of which are very anxious activities for her.

Good luck!

I'm glad you posted here. As a parent with probable AS myself, I feel incredibly awkward talking to a teacher about my son, and the whole IEP process tends to make things even more complicated, IMO.

I would want to tell you what things my son struggles with, but also what his assets are. Last year (which was admittedly spectacularly difficult for my son) I feel like all the attention went to his difficulties and deficits, and no expectations were placed on him at all. He is perfectly capable of writing if prompted, and yet his writing workbook was all cartoons of people shooting each other.

I loved that my daughter's teacher wanted not only to discuss with me what frustrated my daughter, but the best ways to help her calm down. (She set up a special space in the room for my daughter to retreat to when she's trying to not have a meltdown.)

Other questions:
What causes your child to become stressed? (i.e. being touched, being behind taller children, etc.)
What routines work at home that can be transferred to the classroom?
What has and has not worked for other teachers?

I'm so glad you're showing such interest in this child!
I think it helps to have a good relationship with the parents, too. You might want to ask the parents what kind of communication they would like to have (monthly meetings? weekly emails? short notes in the child's agenda?) so they can offer suggestions.
The most important thing for a teacher to remember is that any behavioral problems, including completing work, sitting quietly, participating, acting out, speaking out of turn or any of the other things that can be disruptive to the class or not deliberate and cannot be controlled by stricter discipline or by trying to get a child to try harder. All children are doing their best. (This goes for NT children as well as ASD or ADHD kids.)
J.

Thank you all for these ideas- there's some great ideas here which I'm going to try- it's great to get parents' views on this!

I think what momsparky said about knowing the strengths of this child rings true- all that seemed to happen in IEP meeting was about difficulties, and her interests, never about her strengths- that's something to ask the parents.
Also ColorNine's idea of transferring routines from home to classroom- I'd never thought about that before.

What's strange for me particularly is that, although I have AS and so have more idea than most at school about this, she's a very different aspie to me- I'm an introvert and she's an extrovert to start off with! I have selective mutism and she can't seem to stop talking.

My son is this way, too - right now (he's 11, so this may be too soon for a 7 year old) we're working on saying no more than three things and then waiting for a response. He makes friends easily, too - which made diagnosing him and us understanding the diagnosis quite difficult.

Sometimes talking is a stim for DS, so maybe helping this child find acceptable stimming behaviors to substitute for talking incessantly might be a good idea.

You should keep in mind that in most instances, when this child gets into a situation, there was probably an element of misunderstanding. Children with AS can take what is told to them very literally. They can have difficulty being pragmatic and might adhere to a rule told to them at one point even though the "game has changed" so to speak. They can get confused when they see other children breaking rules and not get in trouble for it and because they can't distinguish which rules are "ok" to break, they tend to get in trouble more than other children when they are actually more altruistic and rule abiding than other children. This can lead to them feeling like they are being singled out.

Any time this child does something they weren't supposed to, please give them the benefit of the doubt and talk the situation over with them to determine why they made the choice they did, or did what they did, until you decide to punish them or not.

My daughter just started 4th grade and we just had this initial meeting with her teachers, at my request. Everyone has good ideas here - my only additional suggestion would be to open up a regular weekly dialogue with parents. whether it's an email, a note home or a quick phonecall - let them them the good and the bad and work together to address the things you see sooner rather than later. There is nothing more frustrating, as a parent than to go into a parent/teacher conference three months into the school only to learn about an issues that had been occurring since the first day of school. That sort of lag time in addressing an ASD kids learning differences is precious time lost. If you are unsure if he is having an issues or a difficulty in the classroom, please reach out to the special ed teacher asap and get some feedback and input. Many times, it may be something common or simple to address. Other things to look out for - processing issues, executive function difficulties and always keep a sharp eye out for bullying behavior and/or social exculsion.

The more you reach out to make it a team effort the better off your student will be. Some people are overly concerned about seeming like they are 'overstepping' their bounds. As a parent, I would much rather a teacher be more involved than less. I would never think poorly of a teacher trying to stay in touch.

And thank you for the care and attention you have for your student! We need more of you!

YES to all this! Definitely.