conversational sentences and phrases - what age?

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hi,

my 2.5 yr old son has been dx with ASD. his first meaningful words were on time (11-12 months). by 20 months he could tell ABC's, nursery rhymes etc. he can communicate his needs using sentences from my side. eg- when he wants water "do you want water", when he wants to come to me "come to mummy", when he cries or upset "dont cry baby" etc.. He is 30 months now and cannot answer even simple questions. his style of speech(talking in 2nd person) has not improved at all. he cant tell his name when asked, cant follow directions, has very little eye contact. what does this mean? is it autism along with mental retardation?

he can name all common objects at home, including fruits, vegetables, can identify some not all alphabets. he does pretend play - talking over phone, rolling the dough with rolling pin etc..

when is he going to understand questions and answer them, ask questions, share his experience??

i love him the way he is, no matter what.. but i dont want to hear other parents telling "dont play with that boy" to their children. it would break my heart. i want to help my son become conversational as early as possible.

can you help me with some ideas?

thank you all in advance. i am already doing everything his speech therapist told me. i am just trying to get more help from experienced people.
thanks again.

Your son sounds like how my 5 year old was as a toddler. He's 5 now and has had speech therapy since he was 3 years old. He did not start speaking in full sentences until maybe a year ago and even now he still has problems with his speech and I know this is bothering him. We moved to a different state so he didn't receive speech therapy for a few months and he even told me he wanted/needed speech therapy so he could learn how to talk better.

I'm not quite sure if my husband is on the spectrum. My husband is NT (I think) but he definitely has some autistic traits. But my husband received speech therapy until he was in 2nd grade. My husband is 30 years old now and he's still not a very verbal person but he is fine and does great in his career in the military.

The eye contact has gotten SO much better over the past 2 years but he also received neurofeedback therapy last year that helped him immensely. When my son was your son's age he would usually lable things. He knew all his colors, letters, numbers, sounds, shapes and etc. He started reading at almost 4 years old and is currently mainstreamed in Kindergarten where he is in the top of his class. Although we are still facing some behavioral issues that we're working on. I expect for him to have speech therapy for quite a while but since his reading is starting to take off now, I hope his speech will improve too. If your son is like my son, he can probably comprehend a lot more than he's able to express.

I am just now able to hold a conversation about his day with him at 5 years old.

I'm wondering if you are receiving speech therapy through early intervention? My son received speech therapy through the district at school and his speech was not improving at all. Which is why we went to his pediatrician and asked if he could refer us to a speech therapist. He then started private speech therapy that has helped him a lot more than the services through the district.

At 2.5 years, your son is very advanced compared to where my daughter was at that age (and she is very bright with high IQ). I think his "style" of speaking is just inhibited by his lack of reciprocal interaction. With my daughter, she had no words (only grunting) at your sons age. However, once she did start speaking she make quite rapid development in that area. My brother (who has AS) was not reciprocal for a very long time. So what I am trying to tell you here is not to worry. Sounds like your son is communicating with you in his own way. Give him words when he needs them as I am sure the speech therapist has said-ie when he says "come to mommy" you can say "you want mommy to come to you?" or whatever is appropriate. Not in a critical way.

Don't worry about him answering questions-this is about the reciprocal issues-and I'd be willing to bet this will improve over time. You can "work" with him spontaneously in the moment by playing games or just talking with him.

My son didn't have one word until 2 weeks before his 3rd birthday, nor did he imitate at all or seem to understand much of anything. I remember the first time we actually had a reciprical conversation, he was at least 6. I think it was the end of kindergarten. It was short, but it brought tears to my eyes. It was wonderful. He is 9 now and perfectly able to have a conversation. It's hard for him to formulate an original thought, but he can. Language is not natural for him but he is able to converse with others and express himself. At times you have to probe or interpret but I have no doubt that he will be fine in this area. He'll be no great writer, but he has many other gifts.

His verbal IQ is a tad under average, but his visual IQ is superior. If you teach him through his eyes he learns quickly and never forgets. You have to "show" him how to play checkers, but when he gets it he will beat the pants off of you. Language and intelligence are completely different, and you cannot tell a person's IQ by their language so don't assume that he has cognitive challenges because of that. It's a totally different part of the brain.

My son started speech therapy when he was 3. He did 2 years through the county schools and he's been in private speech therapy ever since. He is down to once a week now, but they mostly work on inferences, antonyms/synonims, idioms and some syntax. I still get "did you see him fell?", but with familiar subjects (Star Wars) you couldn't really tell he has a language problem.

Your child is very young, and you really won't know where he is going until he is older. He may surprise the crap out of you as my son has. I have no doubt that he will be fine, and live an independent life, and my goal is to get him through college. I am fortunate to have him in private school though, and that I think helps a lot, but that always isn't an option for everyone. Social skills are my bigger concern at this point. Teaching language is easy, social skills...emotional control...a WHOLE other animal.

Be patient! He'll get there!

honestly, he sounds like he is progressing pretty typically for an asd kid. this is a communication and social interaction disorder. they have problems with reciprocal conversation. so he may never really share his experiences in the way you are expecting him to. its just not how they are wired. it doesnt mean he is cognitively delayed (the term mental retardation is a generally a no-no these days), he is just different than what you are used to. what you are hearing is echolalia, its a common trait for asd kids, and its how they begin to learn language. he is still very young, give him time to develop.



one thing we parents often have to learn to accept is that our kids dont necessarily want the same things we do. its pretty common for autistics to not need or want conversation or social interaction, or to need/want it less than neurotypical people do. you are likely to find as your child grows that, if he is indeed asd, that this is not nearly as much of an issue for him as it is for you.

my autie is 5 1/2, and had a lot less verbal ability than your son at that age. now he is a chatterbox, he talks to me all the time. he still doesnt manage reciprocal conversation very well, but its getting better (our convos revolve around zombies, video games, and what he wants from tv). he also doesnt talk or play with other kids. i worried a lot about that, too, until i realized that hes ok for the most part without it. other kids annoy him and make him anxious, he is generally happier without that interaction.

thank u all for the great replies..!

@Momofboys1980 - yes, he is receiving speech therapy through early intervention. actually, even my hubby and I share some autistic traits. though we never experienced any language/speech delays according to our parents. and, we both are software engineers.

@azurecrayon - thanks. i understand.. the reason i am slightly concerned about his cognitive ability is that.. though he knows ball, phone, light etc... when i ask him "where is the ball" he never points or even brings it. also he knows mummy is mummy and daddy is daddy. but so far has never called us "mummy" or "daddy" when he needs us. he only comes to us and drags us by hand to take him where he wants. i tried many ways of making him understand the concept of calling. i see 15month old babies calling "mummy" and "daddy"... so he is more than a year behind NT kids!! ! also when i point an object to him, say a spoon lying below a window, he keeps looking at the window only. even if i try to tell "there, look down.. " he only keeps looking all around. and for the past 3 months i have been teaching him alphabets and colors repeatedly... he still cannot identify individual alphabets or colors correctly. sometimes he gets it right rarely. more than all these... when he sees photos of some other people in the laptop, he says "daddy"..

i do understand things can change quickly... but right now, i feel hopeless especially when i see NT kids his age. he is my one and only child. u ppl are good to know.. thanks ladies!! !!

dearmommy, you will always have that ache if you look at the NT children and make comparisons. My daughter is 8 and it is still very hard not to judge where she is based on where "they" are. But you cannot use the NT benchmarks or else you will always be sad and resentful. Try to embrace the positives and realize he will have his own unique strengths!

This sounds EXACTLY like my son. He is about a year older than yours. He knows all the letters, colors, counts to 100, has a huge vocabulary. He recently started spelling and even reciting multiplication tables.

BUT like you say he has very very little conversation ability. He can ask for items using a single word and oftens pulls us by the finger.

A month or so ago he started answering questions but only the "What is it?" type.

I highly doubt that this is MR. For ASD kids, their development can be all over the place - advanced in some areas and lagging in others.

I learnt very early on that my son talked when he WANTED to only. Our first clue was when, at 2 years old his first word was a perfectly formed sentence. There was not even a single word before then.

My son's first words we things like "dinosaur" and "chinchilla."

You can check out the "uploads" section of my free YouTube Speech and Vocabulary Channel (www.youtube.com/user/vids4autkids3) to see the types of materials that I used to get to my older son to understand how to ask and answer questions. There is lots of vocabulary stuff in the "playlists."

Basically, I made tons of flashcards and homemade books in order to improve my older son's vocabulary and teach him how to ask and answer questions.. For each targeted question and answer I would read both the question and answer to my son intially. After we went over the set of flashcards or books a few times, he would read the answer to each question on his own and then just blurt it out.

This worked partially because my son learned his phonics and how to sight read at an early age. Also, we did/do lessons while my kids are on their swings, eating, doing stuff with their art supplies--something relaxing.

With the older child, when he was younger, we did a lot of lessons while he sat in the bathtub and played with his tub toys.

Please see my Reading Channel also. The "playlist" section is something that your child can watch himself and learn lots of phonics, vocabulary, and sightwords. (www.youtube.com/user/vids4autistickids). Also, see my website "links" page for links to free ebooks. (www.freevideosforautistickids.com).