okay, maybe I'm in the denial phase....
Here my son is sorting things by category, making patterns, matching, taught himself the numbers... and the dr is telling me that these are not things that he "should" be doing at this age. Maybe he just has a mathematical mind!
So he has a problem sensing gravity and body position, which makes him move awkwardly. He is overly sensitive to sounds and visual stimulation. It affects his ability to interact with other kids.
It seems to me that certain parts of his brain work better than others. Isn't that true for everyone? Is there a label for children who are the opposite- who have great gross motor skills but are really bad in math? Why is HE the one who gets slapped with a label?
He gets fixated on things. So what? Maybe that will make him discover some marvelous invention one day.
I don't know. The diagnosis is just starting to sink in, we've met with all the "specialists," maybe I'm just getting worn out.
It can be quite a heavy blow, until you learn about what his diagnosis means. Your best weapon is knowlege. Do lots of research.
The sooner you can get your head around whatever is bothering you, the better off your son will be and the more you can help him have a happy life. He needs you to be smart, understanding, strong and a little selfless, right now.
... and you need a big hug! ((((((((((( )))))))))))
Good luck!
:^)
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It's just music for me. The other stims don't work.
A diagnosis can be a two-sided thing. It can feel insulting especially if you didn't notice too much "wrong" with your child in the first place. I'm surprised when I hear parents complaining of having to argue with doctors to get a referral, to get a diagnosis. I took my son in for a skin rash and the nurse and doctor were flabbergasted at my son's "behavior". He didn't even mention my son's skin and instead referred us to a pediatric neurologist. It was a blow because I never saw anything wrong with my son, he was exactly like his parents. My husband had the same developmental delays and I had similar sensory issues.
But once we got over that, we were really happy that we could act on the dx. We were able to help him speak earlier than he would have and have been helping him cope with his sensory issues. We don't expect less of him, but we teach him differently than an NT.
And even though your son is a wonderful, healthy child, getting a diagnosis can still put you in grief. And grief is not a chronological process. You can jump back and forth between the steps.
Many kids on the spectrum have proprioreceptive problems. Our son, who was always big for his age, used to "sit" on the couch with his back on the place you'd normally be sitting, with his head hanging off the back of the cushion where legs would normally be, and his legs going up the back of the sofa with his feet on the wall. Sometimes he'd "slither" down and start banging his head against the couch.
He could also ride his bike with no training wheels by age 4. However he couldn't tie shoe laces or wear jeans (button!) until this year. He's 11 now.
Encourage your child in their strengths, and help them cope with any weaknesses they may have. From that point, you can always move forward.
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Mean what you say, say what you mean -
The new golden rule in our household!
http://asdgestalt.com An Autism and psychology discussion forum.
There is a well known essay called "Welcome to Holland" or something like that - in the world of exceptional ed. If you haven't seen it, find it. It helps to be able to call some one and rage that there is NOTHING good about Holland (even if it's not true).
You did not mention your child's diagnosis, although it does sound like Asperger's. For me, the gift of the diagnosis, the truly useful part, has been in understanding that the neurological difference is not just a learning style or a matter of social disability and obssession. Although each child is individual, Asperger's means impaired executive functioning. As I understand it, that means that the way information is stored, and reaccessed is impaired. It means that the way information is processed is disordered. Teaching, then, is not just a matter of using concrete thinking and visual cueing and verbal scripting. It means finding a way to train my son into a onganized approach to any task.
Anyway, I think it's wonderful that you are so accepting of your child, and see his strengths so clearly. He is lucky to have you. You are already his champion. He is not a label, and never will be.