The experience of a 3 year old Aspie

Post Reply New Topic

As remembered by me

I just had a very pleasant memory tonight while taking my kids home. If Aspergers was known back then, this would have been it unmistakably, at least from my point of view... as a three year old child with Aspergers. I was no more than three, but I may have been less. I cannot be too sure.

I lived two blocks from the grocery store. My mom and I used to walk there all the time. One day, I wanted some candy. I do not know if I asked for some and was told no, or if I just decided that I was going to go, or maybe my mom was asleep on the couch, and I was going to be a nice kid and let her take a nap. Who knows why I did it. But I did. I somehow managed to gather enough change. I remember it was change, because it was silver, not paper, and I was certain it was enough for what I wanted. I do not remember what I wanted to buy, but it was probably a white and red swirled lollipop, which were my favorite at the time, because my dad would always bring me one home from his business trips. Strawberry and cream. Yum.

Well, I left the house. I had my jacket on, because that was the responsible thing to do. I was three after all, and someone always put a jacket on me, so I should put one on myself. Right? I also put my boots on, but if I remember correctly, it was not rainy that day. I probably wanted to be prepared. I only made it to the first corner when my best friend's mom found me trying to cross the street. I could not fathom WHY she was trying to stop me. I had the correct amount of change. I was looking both ways before I crossed the street. I WAS watching to make sure cars stopped. (I mean, I was three, but I was not stupid.) I was only going two streets down. I was going straight to the store. I would not talk to strangers. I would be safe. I would buy my candy with the money (which is what you are supposed to do - it wasn't like I was going to steal it) and then would come straight home with my candy and everyone would be so proud of me for doing this all by my self. I would be so self-sufficient.

But this person did not think so. I was scolded. I was lectured. I cried. I did not understand. I had no clue what I had done wrong. I was brought home. I was lectured more. I melted down. I was so upset. Why were they so upset? I did everything exactly how I was supposed to. I had only misunderstood one social rule. 3 year old children must be accompanied by an adult at all times It was so unfair. Now, as a parent, and a parent of an aspie who is often in her own world, I do worry, but from a child's perspective, I can see how things can be unfair. I still look at that and think it is unfair, and that is 35 years later, and that store is long gone, and so is the lollipop. lol.

My Aspie daughter is 11 years old and I still do not let her cross the street alone. She usually forgets to do things, like lookng both sides before crossing the street. The last tme she crossed the street alone (like 2 months ago) I was walking just like 1/2 meter behind her and suddenly she ran and crossed the street, without looking, and almost got hit by a car. Sorry, but I would have been mad, also. I usually get mad when I am scared to death.

But that's the thing. This is from a 3 year old's perspective. As a parent, I would be too. I get scared when my 16 year old crosses the street. My point was not that people should let a 3 year old cross the street. I was just giving the perspective of a 3 year old. At the time, I just could not fathom why, because I honestly did not see how I could have been under any harm. Even now (illogically) looking back I remember feeling insulted that people thought I wouldn't be safe. As a 3 year old child (not a 38 year old mom) I felt I was 100% in the right. It was just logical.

That's an interesting story. I'm sure a lot of us thought similar things at that age. =)

My almost 6yr old daughter has wanted to do everything on her own ever since she started to walk, at a year. I'm sure in her mind she thought she knew what she doing and she'd be safe. The only problem is that I still can't trust her to cross a road on her own - she'd have been run over yesterday if I hadn't managed to pull her back in time.