late diagnosis at the age of 17--please share

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my teen and I are going through a flux of stages with AS just being diagnosed. Overwhelmed, angry it wasn't diagnosed earlier, my teen said "why me" yesterday, in addition to the anxiety she has with the issue of trying to make friends and not being successful and some periods of depression. What were your experiences when the diagnosis didnt arrive until the age of 17? Thanks.

I wasnt diagnosed until I was 43.Yeah,late DX can cause some problems that might have been avoided with earlier DX.I might not have spent most f my life assuming that I really was an alien,abandoned on this hostile rock.I might not have wasted so much time in worthless psycho-babble sessions being told that all my "traits' related to being adopted.I might not have tortured myself to become a "social critter"
when I would have been happier excepting myself for who I am.


It's not "to late" for your daughter.An aspergers DX isnt a "curse" it's information....and knowledge is power.What has made me most depressed(long history of depression and suicidal obsession),has been not excepting myself.Another,was not knowing about sensory over-load....I assumed that any my "bizzare" reactions in certain over-load situations(crowds)was a form of mental illness with a psychological cause.

As a female with Aspergers,your daughter has some advantages to many males with AS,who appear to have more difficulty finding a "significant other".It does apear that more females then males,can find someone to share their life with.(there are exceptions,thats a generalization)My biggest problem in this area,was that I was taken advantage of sexually because I didnt realize when a guy was lieing to me(didnt really like me)just so they could have sex.I think there is more naivety about this,at least for me.I dont lie about my feelings ,so couldnt imagine that other people would and couldnt tell when I was being lied to.

There are many things your daughter can learn and improve on in social interactions.I hope you will encourage her to visit this site.I have found a lot of information and support here.

I wasn't diagnosed until I was about that age, either. (I'm now 19.) Like your daughter, my response to the diagnosis was initially quite negative as well. I would point out to your daughter her strong points, and mention that while she has challenges that most people don't have, she also has unique gifts, etc. You could also try showing her this site and others which have a positive, accepting attitude of AS.

I wasn't diagnosed until age 41. It would have been good to have been diagnosed much earlier as it would have meant avoiding a lot of heartache and self blame. I can relate to the being taken advantage of as I couldn't tell when men were lying. If they said they loved me, I took it on face value even when it turned out they only said it to get whatever they wanted.

Whatever you do, don't pressure your daughter to be social or to find a mate. She will do these things in her own good time. She's only 17, so she's got plenty of time yet. Job finding could be a big issue and again, please don't pressure her into doing things she is not ready for.

i'm 22 and was just diagnosed. now my parents and i are reading all about AS and SPD and saying things like ,"oh, so that's why you/I did that!" And " I wish we could have known it sooner." it actually makes me feel better to finally know why i am the way i am, and have some of the mysteries of my life solved. But I think its better late than never. I probably would have had a hard time being diagnosed at 17 too. Its a hard time. Now, as an adult, though, its also difficult finding proper social skills training and sensory integration therapy. Everything is made for little kids.

my daughter was just diagnosed yesterday. she hasnt brought the subject up yet. i dont know what to say or how to bring it up to start soften whats going on in her head. she is 17 anybody have insight or suggestions?

well first would be not to see it as softening it up there's no such thing as a normal person so respect her the way you would talk to any body else you would talk to about it if she is getting upset walk away and come back later, and don't get frustrated if she asks alot of questions....


You will find alot of people won't get diagnose until a later stage in there life - as its very hard to detect someone in young age depending on what part of the spectrum there in, I was diagnose at 22 asked for help at 20 And first i diagnose myself with shyness and social anxiety and asked for help with going through the channels of seeing a gp then passed onto a hospital crisis team so on, then finding out that i also have As but it really was me who asked for the help as i didn't feel like i was right to other people, failure for detection is a common place in humanity just think this why soften up your daughter theres nothing wrong with her really we make better humans in the end with our way of life humans can't cope with the world the way it is for the past 100 years so really is As a disorder or a fight for evolution to change us into our next level...

You can tell your daughter that being diagnosed at 17 is a good thing, she's got her adult life ahead of her and knowing why she acts and thinks a bit different sometimes will help her ALOT.

My parents never gave me or my sister any support for being different then other kids, I was told I was a lazy underachiever (even though I never once got help with schoolwork at home, unlike most of the kids in my class) and that I should have more friends and get out more. Not so easy when you don't know whats "wrong" with you or how to act around people. Our dad was also an alcoholic and our stepfather was sometimes mentally abusive.. that probably doesn't help an AS kid much. Sorry going OT in selfpity here

I'm 25 and it's only in the last couple of years I learned about AS, hopefully getting a diagnosis soon. But knowing that your daughter has AS just means that you can give her proper support if/when she needs it. Depression can be a problem if we isolate ourselves and keep failing socially, I'm still at this point myself.. perhaps medication and therapy could be an option? Good luck to you and your daughter!

I was diagnosed a few days before my 17th birthday. At first, I was upset at them for labeling me. But now I am content that there is a reason why I have social difficulties.

As she grows older and matures, your daughter will appreciate the fact that she was diagnosed at an early age.

Getting a new attititude these past few days..not the why didnt we know sooner..we lost all this time but...thank God we found out now..before college, before going out into the world. Don't want to overwhem my daughter with lots of books so I think this site would be better. She knows the basics of AS but Im sure its all still a bit much to understand. Its only been a few weeks since we both found out.

We met the social skills coach who is warm and genuine. The goal will be to help my teen with the social skills she has a hard time with....starting conversations, responding to hello how are you's. I just want her to learn enought to get along in the NT world..don't want to change who she is.