She Won't Wear Underwear

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Sorry to start so many new threads, but Sylvia's behavioral issues seem to be coming thick and fast. We've had problems with her itching at her crotch and tugging at her underwear for the last month. She's been examined by the doctor twice, most recently on Friday, but they say they don't see any physical reason why she should be doing this. Now, 2 or 3 times a day, Sylvia will pull off her panties, get very agitated that she wants new panties, but will refuse to put them back on for more than a few minutes at a time. Sometimes she'll rip they next pair immediately after I put them on her. I've been trying different types of panties to try to find a style that doesn't bother her as much, but there's no rhyme or reason, she takes them all off. I'm getting really frustrated with this. Our pediatrician feels that Sylvia's got anxiety and the itching and pulling her underwear is a manifestation of it. We're trying to get in with a behavioral therapist, but in the meantime I'm at a loss.

How old is she? Does she have to wear them? Can she go without? Maybe it's the sensory issues and she doesn't like them being snug around her skin.

This definitely seems like sensory issues. I scratch my vagina a lot, too, but I can still wear underwear. Does she have pubic hair? That might be bothering her, so maybe she could shave it. Also, she may just be one of those people who naturally has a lot of vaginal discharge--I am, and it bothers me. My gynecologist says it's nothing to worry about, though. I don't really know what to do about that--maybe you can let her go to the bathroom every once in a while and wipe it out?

Another possibility is that she doesn't like the way the underwear constricts her at the places where her legs and torso come out of it (if that makes sense). Maybe you can try having her wear boxers; they may be more comfortable to her.

It could be the kind of underwear she is wearing. As a child I preferred granny panties and I did not like short panties or bikini panties. I didn't like any other type of underwear. It's also possible they could be too small and she may need a bigger size so they are looser.

The vaginal discharge makes sense too because I can remember when I first entered puberty, my pelvis area always felt wet and I hated the feeling. My mom once suggested I wear a pad but I refused because I was afraid kids would find out and tease me about it.

Sorry, I should have been more specific in my first post. Sylvia's only 4, so pubic hair isn't a problem... and I don't think vaginal discharge is an issue either (at least her panties never seem to be damp). We are experimenting with different types of underwear: briefs, hipsters, boy shorts, but have yet to find anything that seems to be more comfortable for her. Maybe I'll have to venture in the boy's section to find some boxers. She has only been wanting to wear dresses and night gowns lately, so it is possible she doesn't like the constricting feeling.

I guess the biggest problem is that she tends to want to take of her panties wherever she is (doctor's office, pre-school) when she feels uncomfortable and since we haven't found underwear that works for her, I'm in for a good 20 min. of explaining that, no, you really need to wear panties and trying to find some that she'll keep on for more than 10 seconds.

At 4 years old, why exactly must she be forced to wear under garments?

Is there actually a rational reason for her do so other than 'everybody else does so you must do this because mummy is desperate for you to appear normal'?

Have you considered a very simple solution may be to stop trying to force her to wear things that make her intensely uncomfortable?

This may not be the issue, but I thought it worth mentioning. all the females in my family have a sensitivity to whatever they put on clothes before they sell them. So you have to wash all undergarments before wearing. Many of us also have a sensitivity to perfumes, dyes, and softeners. We wash our undergarments separately with "free" detergent and no softener. Also no perfumed toilet paper and whatever they use in charmin is a nightmare. We stick to northern and angel soft mostly. The sensitivity causes itching, a hot feeling and extreme discomfort. Only at is worst do you see any physical symptoms like reddness.

Dc has a good point. Who says you have to wear underwear. Will she wear shorts under her dresses if you are worried about exposure in public?

Regular boys underwear might be more comfortable for her. It seems like the elastic in the boys underwear is wider so it would tend to cut into the skin less. Boxers also might work but you may have a hard time finding them in a size small enough to fit a 4 yo girl.

As you have already tried different types of underwear though I wonder if there is something else going on. I am trying to think along really different lines here so just tossignore this if it seems too far out there.

Did you say before that you had already tried anti-fungal cream? I know 4 is awfully young for yeast infection but many things could contribute to a fungal imbalance and cause internal discomfort, like has she been on anti-biotics for anything in the past few months? Another thought - is she "holding it" either pee or poop? Some kids have anxiety about using public bathrooms and so they hold it to the point that they get really uncomfortable. My friend's daughter will go through the WHOLE school day without going to the bathroom and by the time she gets home she is an emotional wreck probably because she is in pain. Could she be worried about soiling her underwear and that is the reason she wants to take it off? Does she have any trouble with constipation or diarrhea?

I had fairly bad clothing hypersensitivity when I was a child and it doesn't help that childrens clothes tend to be made out of rough materials or have thick seams and such.

I used to have massive issues with elastic and could only tolerate satin underwear that didn't have thick, rough elastic.

I probably still would have issues with elastic if Haynes hadn't come to their senses and realized it pays to use elastic that doesn't itch.

It's also a problem if it's too tight.

One think you might be able to try is cotton stretch shorts or spandex shorts with the elastic covered over and the tags removed....that's another thing, be sure to remove the entire tag even if you have to use tweezers to pick the remaining bits out or rip the garment.

It could also be from soap or bubble bath ... because it's a sensitive area those products may not bother her anywhere else but there (I have this problem). Also extra soft toilet paper leaves fibers behind and doesn't get you as clean and that causes irritation. And like another poster said, there are often irritants on new clothes (formaldehyde) that can be an issue. On the off chance it's yeast I'd also offer her some yogurt. Looser underwear is also a good suggestion....

Exactly this, and what Washi said too. All the women in my family have this sensitivity too. I would try using a scent free, mild detergent on her clothing (and underwear), and definitely no fabric softener. Make sure she's not using any bubble bath, bath beads etc, and no soap "down there" just clean water. Even washing hair in the bath can be a problem, because it leaves a residue of shampoo and conditioner all over the body. Either showering or rinsing off her body and vulva after the bath thoroughly would be a good idea.

I would try these measures for a few weeks and see if there is an improvement.

Be sure you buy seamless underwear with NO TAG. They make the kind with the tag printed on the fabric instead of sewn in.

But as others have said, why does she need to wear underwear anyway? Let her wear soft cotton leggings under her dresses, or sweats/yoga pants. Simply launder them after every wearing--no underclothes required.

I'm a guy, but I didn't start wearing underwear every day until middle school when I had to change into a uniform for P.E. Up until then, it just didn't matter.