A Frigthened Dad

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Hi Everyone,

I have just registered with wrongplanet. Haven't so much as read an article yet. I have the most wonderful six year old boy in the world. After a long period of trial and error in trying figure our son out, my wife and I have come to accept that our man is an aspie.

Trying to get my head around it and how to be the best Dad I can. Feeling more than a little bit lost this morning.

By the way, I would not change him in any way. He is affectionate, loving, smart, creative and along with his Mum and sister, the best thing that has ever happened to me!

This message is not really going anywhere, I just needed to get it out there. Thanks for reading.

Hi and welcome.

Your son sounds lovely.

I think most of us know that lost feeling, but being able to share and listen and receive (and give) support here will hopefully make you feel more at ease with all of this.

Your son is unchanged, remember. He's still the great wee guy he always was and now you'll be better able to work out what works for him.

Your'e lucky you caught it early and know what it is. A lot of us here when we were kids were misdiagnosed as having something else. Psychologists did not diagnose for Aspergers in the 60's, 70's, and the 80's. In the 70's they thought I had ADHD and put me in special education from 1st grade to 10th grade. When I went for my evaluation for Aspergers at age 40 the doctor found no signs of learning disabilities. He told me I was cheated out of a proper education.

Hopefully your school district will be able to get your child the help he needs. School systems seem to be making great strides in stopping bullying so hopefull by the time your kid gets to middle and high school the bullying won't be as bad as I had to endure. Good luck.

Welcome!

I know it is scary at first, but you will come to see how this will come to change you in positive ways. Feel free to ask questions, make suggestions, vent, whatever!!

Maybe knowing how great my son is doing will take some of the edge off. We had some really really rough years but he is now in high school and actually consider a leader among his peers. Talented and smart, too.

Knowing what the problems are makes a world of difference.

I can remember crying a lot and worrying a lot about my daughter. In the beginning I kept hoping it would be something else. They did find that she was deaf in one ear, but that didn't make any difference. She has been diagnosed with (classic) autism. The good thing is that I told her about Einstein, and about feeling different and about different things that Aspies feel (after reading Wrong Planet) and we watched Monk together.

She got a sense of the strengths and the difficulties of it. She's 10 now and she's doing well. I wish you the best with your son.

Welcome Dub76. I'm new here too, our son (4 years old) was just diagnosed by our pediatrician with Autism. We still have to get through a psych evaluation but right now I'm going through insurance companies to sort this out.

I feel overwhelmed and emotional and confused and relieved at the same time. Relief from having a name to what is going on.

I understand. Thanks for being here.

Welcome! good luck, it really does help to put a name to the difficulties and know you are not on your own. Its a long road looking for understanding but it does make things a lot more easier.

I have learnt a huge amount of valuable information, others experience and understanding from this forum.

Hi, welcome! When we first got the diagnosis, I started going throuhg a greiving proses! I first didn t believe it, I read almost 4 hours a day to try and get proof that the dr was wrong!
Then I felt guilty and became very sad.....and I am now starting to see my son again as the way I saw him before the diagnosis....He is really doing so very well with meds, proper parenting and even got the price for the best oral speech last week!
Hang in there...it can get better, ok, with some hick ups here and there!

Welcome, I hope you will find strength and hope in this forum. There are a lot of really experienced and helpful people here, both parents and adult (sometimes teenage) Aspies that take the time to share their insights and experiences.

I will never forget the first time I said out loud to another human being that I thought my son was autistic. It was when he was 3 and in pre-school. After 3-4 months of difficulties in pre-school, his teacher and the director of the school sat me down and told me they thought the problems DS was experiencing (meltdowns, resistance to transitions, repetitive behaviors...) were something besides normal 3 yo behavior. In tears, I admitted that I had thought off and on that he might be autistic but at that time I didn't even really know what that meant. It was difficult and somewhat heart-wrenching to say those words but at the same time it was such a relief to let it out into the open.

Not too long after that, we consulted with an Occupational Therapist who, after listening to my story also said that DS might have autism. Again, it was a jolt to hear that word but by then I had begun the acceptance process and even though part of me thought it might still be "just sensory processing disorder" or something along those lines, I was preapred in my mind and in my heart to hear whatever the medical professionals had to say.

I have two boys, one with Asperger's and one with PDD-NOS

When the diagnosis was formalized, after quite a bit of testing and evaluation, I sat down with my wife and formulated an action plan.

The first thing we realized is that these boys, especially the old one, were going to struggle in a traditional school environment. Not necessarily because of academics, but because of rigid rules and the politics of social interaction. Initially, when my boy was in kindergarden, the teacher immediately wanted him medicated, and later the principal began to give us grief.

So we yanked both kids out of school. Formulated our own curriculum that consists of Applied Behavioral Analysis, and an eclectic approach to instruction that involves lots of self-directed learning. The boys are in social clubs and play groups to help with socialization.

I am lucky my wife can stay home and direct the homeschooling (I pick it up on the weekends). Obviously, not every family has this luxury, but I did give up quite a bit to make it happen.

My kids have made great progress, and the oldest boy is brilliant--far smarter than I was at age 8. If he wants to learn about taxonomy and zoology to great detail, that's what we do. We might spend a whole week on it. That is the beauty of a curriculum customized entirely for him.

Our biggest challenge is with the insurance companies. I have to pay for ABA out of pocket, and we get no PT or ST through insurance. The school district gives us some ST, which helps.

The PPACA (Obamacare) granted exemptions to most companies, so my employer basically announced they won't cover Autism at all--in fact, my health policy book does not even recognize Autism as a disorder (we have BCBS).

I think you will find that the great project of your life is now your son: I tend not to think about grandiose career goals or saving the world. The immediate need is here and now.

And that is a good thing!

People with Asperger's can accomplish amazing things: while they may have trouble in some areas, they tend to excel in others.

Dear All,

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Overwhelmed....in a good way! Your responses and encouragement have given me the strength to stop feeling sorry for myself and get this parenting motor in gear. All very positive.

We went for a bite to eat in a chinese restaurant last night and Ben wanted to do some drawing, he always does.

After a few minutes he produced a picture and told us what it was all about: "This is the "Mona Lisa" on the wall in the gallery, these are the people looking and taking pictures of it, next to it is "The Kiss" and on the other side is a picture of the statute called "David"

The works of Leonardo Da Vinci, Gustav Klimt and Michelangelo all represented in the drawing of a six year old boy. I nearly choked on my stir fry. What a man!

No longer Frightened Dad!

I'm in the same boat.

I have this totally awesome four year old boy, who is funny, smart and creative. But everyday when I pick him up from daycare I get told something is wrong with him. He doesn't play with others. He's socially awkward. He's obsessive compulsive. He freaks out at lunch time.

I was hurt. I think my son is perfect and to have someone say "SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR CHILD" it was scary and it hurt like hell.

I'm just figuring everything out. I wouldn't change him for the world. I just want to know how to make things easier for him.