Group Homes...........

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Someday, our daughter, who has autism and MR, will need to be on her own.......She was evaluated and will need to be in a group home..Is there anyone who is in a group home and would share what it is like for them?I want to know that her space will be respected, her posessions will be hers without being taken away, that her caregivers really care about their clients, etc. etc....Thank you!

In that case maybe you should start volunteering for a couple hours each month or week at local group homes. You'll quickly learn which ones do that, and which ones don't care about the residents

That is a very good idea, but how would I approach them? Since I have many Aspie traits, I would not be a social butterfly. I would much rather prefer to help in the kitchen , serving them,or clean... We also live in a moderately sized area, but have no clue as to where a group home is located, they tend to be homes and not facilities...What do you think?

Well, I worked in different group homes for a couple years and unfortunately while some of the people that work there are good the majority are not. Most the time it was quite sad most had no family only people they had were there to care for them. Others came from institutions where their learned behavior / trauma is a big hurdle. Clients learn bad habits from other clients. Also it depends on who she is living with. I've had clients attack each other at different times and etc. I don't really want to say much more. Just fully evaluate it before it happens. I think once you did a group home though there wouldn't be any going back.

I know, it can break your heart how so many are abandoned once they are sent to the group homes.. I watched, Mozart and the Whale, and felt each of the characters' existing on sadness and loneliness.... My daughter is 18 now, I am only 41, so I hope I live a nice long life, and for her to as well..

you have to really look into the different facilities. ask them if you can talk to current clients' parents/guardians. ask to see a schedule of weekly activities. do they go places in the community, or do they mainly stay at the facility?.....

That is wonderful advice, thank you! And thank you to all who replied as well.Peace ....

Many like to live on their own--it gives them a tremendous sense of accomplisment. I wouldn't think of it as sad. It's a grand achievement to survive independently, especially for the disabled.

I wish she could live independently, but she is mentally at half her age, with an IQ under 69..she needs someone to make sure she is careful with her surroundings. I remember when she put popcorn in the microwave for 10 minutes and our kitchen looked and smelled like 50 stinkbombs went off at once....aahhh, we smile about it now, but then...Simple things worry me about her, because I love her so much. I don't want her to feel alone...

Look into getting her into an assisted-living apartment building, if you can find one. That way, she can live alone but still have care when she needs it.

I would never live in a group home myself, and will never send my future adopted kid to one, either.

I'm glad that I don't live in a group home.

you sound like my Dad. Today i baked some of those pillsbury halloween cookies and then got on the phone with my grandmother while they baked in the oven. I walked away from the oven for a moment after the timer went off then came back to check on the cookies then closed the door thinking they weren't done but i didn't set the timer again instead i went about my business then when i saw smoke signals coming out of my kitchen i had to run back to the oven and get my cookies that's when my Dad and brother came in and started opening windows and turning on fans airing out my apartment. i had to throw out my cookies b/c they looked like charcoal after the epic failure that happened. My dad mentioned the group home thing too but he also said he knew I didn't want it and that he didn't want it for me. Personally, I think places like these are dehumanizers that's why I dislike them so much.

well you have to make sure the caregivers aint pedophiles or sadists. then you have to make sure that the kids there aint sadists either. the kids there are a big part of the equation too. i wouldn't send her to a place where they take drug addicts off the street. and i wouldn't send her to a place with any psychopaths in it.

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