Sleep issues-- middle of the night waking/insomnia/fear

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Hey all, my five year old has always had trouble with sleep. About a year ago, we started using some melatonin to help him get to sleep at the beginning of the night after struggling for a long time of him often tossing and turning for hours to go to messleep. He still falls asleep in the evening pretty well, but lately he's waking in teh middle of the night and often can't go back to sleep.

He sometimes says it's because he's afraid of monsters or has had a nightmare. Other times it's because he wants to read a new book. no matter what it is, it's causing him to be exhausted during the day. Yesterday, he came home with a note from the teacher for hitting at school.

I asked her if he'd been sensitive/upset or anything lately at school because he hasn't been sleeping well. She said that other than having a bad day yesterday, that he had actually been doing really well! He's been really coming out of his shell and has been extremely social with his classmates.

My question: do you think this insomnia could just be related to a surge in social deveilpment? Maybe just a phase? Or could it be that he needs to get some sensory stuff dealt with? He received OT for sensory integration for a while, but hasn't had it in a few months... wondering if that could affect his sleep. Or, maybe just change in routine from the Time change, then thanksgiving break?

Anyway, any thoughts would be great. We seem to go through cycles of sleep trouble around here, an it's been really intense recently. I don't know really what to attribute it to.... you know, so we can make it better... or if we need to just wait it out.

I have suffered with insomnia my whole life. My daughter has it too. She wakes often in the night but is getting better about going back to sleep. We use melatonin with her as well and it works great to get you to sleep, but not so great at keeping you asleep.

Some questions:

Is he getting enough exercise during the day?

Is he staying away from stimulants in food/drink?

Do you have a bedtime routine that is calming such as warm bath, reading, dim lights?

Is he awkening at regular intervals or at the same time each night?

Is he going through a period of insecurity with more than usual fears during the day?

Is he obsessing on a nightmare he had?

I don't have any good answers for you but can certainly relate. My son is now 14 but has always had some form of sleep issue. I think the sleep issues started around preschool/kindergarten age. His main problem was he couldn't fall asleep. He would sometimes lay awake until 2:00 or even 3:00 - it was horrible. We tried everything and I mean everything. We tried to make sure the room was dark enough, then we tried a night light but that kept him awake, we tried a small fountain that is supposed to be calming but it just seemed to annoy him, we tried exercise to make sure he was really tired at bedtime (sometimes this worked, sometimes it didn't make a difference) , we tried Benadryl, we tried letting him watch tv in bed, we tried letting him sleep on the couch....we finally landed on melatonin and it did work (he still takes it) ,.....most of the time. For a long period of time I would sit on the floor next to his bed with my hand on his back to calm him- he said he liked it and it worked - but OMG that was rough on me! esp. in the winter when it was cold and I was tired....but I would do anything to get him to fall asleep. I felt so bad that he struggled so to fall asleep and it broke my heart to see him cry and not understand why he couldn't fall asleep when he really wanted to. One thing that really helped him was to have LOTS of books at the ready. He is a voracious reader and when he couldn't relax (no matter what time it was) we just let him look at his books. With my son we just had to quit fighting it so much...his sleep patterns were not like ours and, eventually, when we decided to pull him out of public school and homeschool him we just accepted the fact that he would be a nightowl.

The absolute worst part was when he attended public school. Knowing I was sending him to school after only a few hours sleep just killed me. He has now settled into his own sleep routine and, surprisingly is able to get up early if necessary. He justs sets his alarm clock and can get up if he needs to. He is an amazing kid and when I think back on all the years of sleep issues I am SOOO grateful those days are gone.

I sure hope you can find something that works. The thing is nothing worked for us all the time and it was much more difficult when he was younger and couldn't solve problems on his own. There was only so much we could do for him - he sort of had to figure it out on his own. and he grew and matured. Now that he is 14 he has the capacity to figure out what isn't working for him and regroup and try something else.

Oh...almost forgot! A weighted blanket really helped him. He's had one for about 6 years or so. Does your son like any kind of pressure? maybe a weighted vest? My son used to like to sit under the couch cushions while we sort of laid on top of them....very calming for some on the spectrum. Might want to check it out further.

Sorry it took me so long to respond. I was having trouble logging in, and I never like dealing with that stuff if I'm viewing a webpage from my phone. ANYWAY, thanks for responding to me so quickly!

All good questions. The exercise one is questionable. He does Tae Kwon Do during the week and will start gymnastics soon, but lately, I've been having trouble getting the kids out to play in the afternoon because his sister has a nap schedule that prevents us from doing so.... and he's not much for going outside to play by himself.

No stimulants in food or drink.

We have a regular, calming bedtime ritual.

I don't know if he's waking at the same time every night. Since I wrote the original post, he's actually stopped waking up scared in the middle of the night, but he's back to waking up super duper early and not going back to sleep. I'm actually not sure what time he's waking up because he's often staying in his room and reading until he comes to wake us up closer to the time he has to get up for school.

I'm wondering if the new social development is simultaneously exciting and creating new insecurities. He's had some rough times very recently. The week I wrote the post, he got in trouble almost every day, and was a complete mess by friday. but, then last week, he had a regular good week. So, maybe just a little hiccup overall. But, still, he is sleeping terribly and I feel awful for him that he's so tired all the time.

As far as obsessing over a nightmare.... I think at the time I wrote this post, he was obsessing over the idea that he MIGHT have a nightmare or see monsters in his room. I don't actually think he had one.



CJN: Thank you for your response, too. It is actually quite comforting to hear that a child can get better at solving their own sleep problems as they get older. I guess it makes some sense since I had sleep problems, too, when I was a kid.

He sleeps with a weighted blanket and does love to be squished!! WE don't really have any beginning of the night problems ever since we started melatonin.. it's mostly just the early waking. And, my friends always think it's because I put him to bed too early. But, really, he wakes up early no matter what time I put him to bed. I can tell he is tired most days.

My daughter is 4 goes to sleep great, but wakes in the night. She's rarely upset most of the time it's to stim rocking on her bed or to play with toys. I'll come into her room in the morning and she'll have all her toys in little patterns, a few nights ago she even rearranged allthe furniture in her room, I was so shocked when I opened the door.

At the begining of the school year she had a really hard time staying alert and awake in class, but gradually it's gotten better as she's gotten used to the school routines. But she'll still have her 'off' days where she's really sleepy and school is a challange.

It sounds like your son is having more good days than bad and is making great progress overall! I hope it's just a short phase for him. Hopefully your OT can come up with some ways for him to self-sooth when he wakes up upset. And I don't think his bedtime is too early, it standard bed-time for kids. It sounds like he's gotten that part of the routine down which is half the battle. The rest will come

Both of my kids have chronic insomnia, like many on the spectrum, and I've found the following to help:

1. Prescription clonidine at night if melatonin doesn't help.
2. Giving them each their own room.
3. Metal fan (out of reach) or other device that produces white noise and drowns out sounds made by family members in other rooms.
4. Going to bed at the same time every night.
5. Taking meds at the same time every night.
6. Enough blankets (my older son likes the weight of several blankets).
7. Night light or overhead light on.
8. TV and VCR or DVD player in the bedroom and some picture books so that if the child wakes up, you can tell him that he can stay in bed and watch TV or read books. (Often the child will eventually fall back to sleep or at least be kept occupied while the movie is on and let you sleep.)
9. No monster movies or violent video games.
10. No caffeine, especially after lunch.
11. Adequate food before bed so that hunger is not waking the child.
12. Comfortable temperature in the home.
13. No reward for getting up in the middle of the night--mom goes back to bed and the child must stay in his room and either go back to sleep, read, watch TV.
14. No long afternoon naps.
15. Relaxing activities before bedtime--warm bath, reading, drawing, children's video, etc.

Honestly, my kids' both have terrible insomnia, and medication was a must for us.