squeezing

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My son 13yrs feels the need to squeeze us as he puts it. He wants to squeeze me sometimes its very tight it can hurt or cause bruises, my hands or arms. He says he wants to squeeze my head not just me his sister and his dad.

I think its just tight hugs which I don't mind, but when he does it to my hands, arms or legs it can cause bruising. I explain that it hurts and show him the bruises but he feels he needs this.

Does anyone have other ideas how he can do this without it causing bruising, also he often does this kind of sniffing or smelling me which I find uncomfortable. Maybe someone can shed some light on this.

I think it is sensory seeking. My son is like that, to a lessor degree, and the OT thinks it is connected to his hypo-tonia/hyper mobility, because when you have those conditions so many nerve signals get lost on their way to the brain, so the person seeks more just to know where they are in space.

We mostly try to re-direct.

DW_a_mom how do you re-direct, if I understand why, it explains whilst I have understanding, but its not just me its other members of the family that get upset because they don't understand the behaviour.

He sniff's and smells me like a animal would do, I can ignore this but he hard to explain to others. the others are family members whom can't understand this behaviour.

Annamaria - following is a list of sensory diet activities given to me by our OT. Some of this is directed towards kids younger than yours but the list may give you some ideas and you can modify the activities to suit your needs.

SENSORY DIET
Naturally Occurring Activities Within the Home Environment
IMPORTANT CONSIDERATIONS
Gently challenge but never force a child to perform an activity, only encourage with positive feedback/language.
Don’t have child lift more than 15% of body weight either carrying or in a weighted backpack.
Use activities that are fun and motivating for a child.
Reward child if performing chore-like activities with an allowance or reward chart to work towards a goal (new toy etc.). Chores give a child a sense of contribution and belonging to the family.
To be effective these activities should be interspersed throughout a child’s day to be effective; usually no more than 60 minutes between activities.
A sensory diet is effective in assisting children to self-regulate, motor plan, and improve mood, in part, due to the brain’s release of neurochemicals that calm, focus, and improve mood.

Carry heavy items (baskets with cardboard blocks, groceries for Mom, etc.).
Allow child to chew gum, eat chewy or crunchy foods, or sip water from a water bottle with a straw while doing homework.
Push or pull boxes with toys or a few books in it (more resistance is provided if boxes are pushed/pulled across a carpeted floor).
Fill a pillowcase with a few stuffed animals in it for weight. Child can then push or pull the pillowcase up a ramp, incline or stairs.
Take the cushions off sofas, vacuum under them, then put them back. Can also climb on them or jump and "crash" into them.
Pull other children around on a sheet or blanket.
Roller skate/rollerblade uphill.
Pull a heavy trash can.

Perform household chores, such as:
Vacuum / Sweep / Mop / Dust.
Carry the laundry basket.
Wipe off the table after dinner.
Carry buckets of water to clean with or to water flowers/plants/trees.
Clean windows or the front of appliances using a spray bottle.
Scrub rough surfaces with a brush.
Help change the sheets on the bed (then toss the linens down the stairs).

Pull a friend or heavy items in a wagon.
Push a friend in a wheelbarrow.
Drink thick liquids (as in milkshake, applesause, or slurpy) through a straw. The thickness of the straw and the thickness of the liquid can be varied to change the degree of heavy work (sucking) required.
Carry heavy cushions.
Have pillow fights.
Play in sandbox with damp heavy sand.
Have the child "help" by pushing chairs into table after a meal.
Push a child's cart filled with cans and then put the cans away on a low shelf so that the child has to be on hands and knees (a weight bearing position) to put the cans away.
Participate in activities such as gymnastics, horseback riding, wrestling, karate, swimming (can also have child dive after weighted sticks thrown in pool).
Bathe the dog.
Wash the car.
Jump or climb in inner tubes.
Fill up a child's suitcase with heavy items (such as books) and push/pull the suitcase across the room.
When traveling, let child pull own small suitcase on wheels.
Go "shopping" with a child’s shopping cart filled with items, or have child push shopping cart when you go shopping.
Go "camping" with a heavy blanket pulled across a few chairs. Child can help set up and take down the blanket.
Have the child help rearrange his/her bedroom furniture.
Have child put large toys and equipment away.
Participate in climbing activities (such as playground equipment).
Swing from the trapeze bar.
Push against a wall.
Fill up big toy trucks with heavy blocks, push with both hands to knock things down.

Participate in sports activities involving running and jumping.
Have the child color a "rainbow" with large paper on the floor or with sidewalk chalk outside while child is on hands and knees.
Play "cars" under the kitchen table where the child pushes the car with one hand while creeping and weight bearing on the other hand.
Walk up a ramp or incline.
Make wood projects requiring sanding and hammering.

Play wrestling: pushing game where two people lock hands facing each other and try to see who can push and make the other person step back first. Use other body parts also, but be sure to have rules (no hitting, no biting, no scratching, one person says stop then both stop).

Have two children sit on the floor, back to back, with knees bent and feet flat on the floor. They interlock their arms, and then try to stand up at the same time.
Play "row, row, row your boat" both sitting on the floor, pushing and pulling each other.
Open doors for people.
Do chair push-ups.
Play jumping games, such as hopscotch and jump rope.
Jump on a mini trampoline.
Bounce on a Hippity Hop ball.
Play catch with a heavy ball, or bounce and roll a heavy ball.
Do animal walks (crab walk, bear walk, army crawl).
Stack chairs.

Perform yard work, such as:
Mow the lawn.
Rake the grass/leaves.
Push the wheelbarrow.
Shovel sand into a wheelbarrow, push the wheelbarrow to a spot, dump out sand and use a rake
to level it out (functional for filling in low spots in backyard).
Dig dirt to help plant flowers.

We have the same issue. I wrote a social story on how we show other that we love them. It listed positive choices like gentle hugs, high fives, etc. It talks about how other people feel loved when we show them we love them in a way that they like. While we read the story we talk about each person in the family and how they like to be shown love. We also talk about how they feel if they are squeezed too hard, or sniffed. This helped him figure out how others felt about it, and how he could adapt his behavior to what that person liked. I tried not to have any negatives about it, but focused on other options and why they help show how much he cares about others.

We try to keep up a sensory diet as well.

I really like the processes Bombaloo and SC have shared. I have done so much on instinct, without writing it down or having professional input, that sometimes I have a hard time answering, "what exactly do you do?" I think we kind of smile and move my son's hand to a new object, if he's trying to squeeze. Give him a straw if he's chewing something odd. If he's smelling me I'm a little harsher, but still joking, "honey, that is annoying!" We have this easy rapport where he knows that certain reactions from us mean he's crossed some invisible line, but we aren't mad.

My son knows now to pull it all in with anyone outside of his immediate family. He knows it freaks other people out; not sure when he crossed that bridge and really integrated it. But we have tried to make home a safe place for him, and he acts more instinctively here, does what is natural for him. Still, well, we have our limits, and then we redirect if possible; affirmatively say no if we can't.

I don't suppose he could hug himself or a stuffed animal/pillow instead when he gets the urge to squeeze too tight?

His urge is to squeeze members of the family, mostly me, some of the suggestions both children do instinctively, they both like to drink from straws, chew gum etc. He likes to squeeze our heads has an big urge to this. He says it verbally excessively more than trying to act it out. He does have large stuffed animals in his room I don't think it gives him what he is seeking. He is involved in a lot of sports, does an activity most days which helps with his excessive energy and socialising. They are very good at inventing there own ways to deal with sensory issues.

Again for us its just to understand the behaviours and it seems to be common so it lessens the concern. We got a puppy he likes her but can be rough especially if the dog chews or bits him, he doesn't get that the puppy is only young and this is how it behaves and to tell it no rather than retaliate. He now is barking I assume this is to do with the puppy?

He is open to suggestions to help his sensory issues unless he sees them as weird or embarrassing.

Thanks for all your suggestions.

When my DS really needs deep pressure, he takes the cushions off the couch, lays on the couch, then I put the cushions on top of him and lay on him. I have to make sure I do this carefully, but this gives Hume the pressure he sometimes needs.

Jumping on the trampoline works for this too.

we have a trampoline, he doesn't like to be lay on finds it claustrophobic, loves strong hugs and giving them.

I wonder if getting a set of hand squeeze grips would help him get the input he needs? My five year old does the squeezing thing, too, but he's little enough that he doesn't hurt us. I usually give him something to do like some of the heavy work activities people pointed out. Our favorite when he's all squeezy is to have him push on the wall and pretend he's trying to move it, but I would be curious to know if handgrips would work for someone older.

You know, this is probably the only place I could share this without being thought completely bonkers, but I drag my son downstairs in his sleeping bag with a duvet stuffed in it with him. I did share with his OT and she approved it, but even so I make sure the blind on the staircase window is shut in case anyone sees us doing this.

My son is sensory seeking, always big on squeezing people, and this calms him. He loves it, and he will ask for "a drag"!

Just to add to the general craziness of it, the dog has to be involved as well, and from inside his cocoon as I pull him downstairs, my son calls out, "Leading or following?", meaning is the dog in front of him or behind him!

The things we do!

Marcia that made me laugh it sounds like great fun. Just wondering is it something they grow out of most posts are from parents with young children.